Question About Crack
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
WarmHeart,
I know it's hard. I've watched other women have to go through this, and I am so thankful you are taking steps to make your life better.
Just a little note here. You said He chose you. Ok, I understand that, but there is some reason you were attracted to him. And you say he wouldn't let you go. Okay, but there is a reason you allowed that. See? Not condeming you one bit, but want you see that there is a reason you got into this relationship. And that reason has something to do with you, not him.
That is why I GO to meetings, even if the relationship is over or the person is sober. There are issues in me that need addressing so I won't repeat the same behavior of the past, the behavior that was contributing to my miserable place in life. That make sense?
I just know that when I started taking a good look at me, well, that is when things began to improve for me. Changing is hard for anyone, but I know that if I do not want to repeat my behavior (stinkin' thinkin', enabling, denial, guilt, desire to fix) of the past, then I have to make efforts to find out why I did that and do what it takes to change me.
Hugs and prayers for you,
Hangin' In
I know it's hard. I've watched other women have to go through this, and I am so thankful you are taking steps to make your life better.
Just a little note here. You said He chose you. Ok, I understand that, but there is some reason you were attracted to him. And you say he wouldn't let you go. Okay, but there is a reason you allowed that. See? Not condeming you one bit, but want you see that there is a reason you got into this relationship. And that reason has something to do with you, not him.
That is why I GO to meetings, even if the relationship is over or the person is sober. There are issues in me that need addressing so I won't repeat the same behavior of the past, the behavior that was contributing to my miserable place in life. That make sense?
I just know that when I started taking a good look at me, well, that is when things began to improve for me. Changing is hard for anyone, but I know that if I do not want to repeat my behavior (stinkin' thinkin', enabling, denial, guilt, desire to fix) of the past, then I have to make efforts to find out why I did that and do what it takes to change me.
Hugs and prayers for you,
Hangin' In
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I'm glad he's out of the house. Chiy is right...if he thinks he can get away with it, it will only get worse and you deserve better so take care of you!
I also agree with Hangin'. The first guy I got in a relationship chose me, too. I stuck by him for 20 years, even though he was a functional alcholic. What I learned from him is how to be a really, really good codie. I went from him to 2 other relationships with crack addicts (the first is the one who introduced me to crack).
I now understand that how I feel about MYSELF is what led to me getting with these men. I guess I thought that they just hadn't been "loved good enough"....so wrong. I thought I could "fix" them, but instead, just made myself sicker. I didn't know it at the time, though. It's only after I came here and started working on my codie behaviors that it became clear. I'm taking a time-out from relationships until I get ME straightened out!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I also agree with Hangin'. The first guy I got in a relationship chose me, too. I stuck by him for 20 years, even though he was a functional alcholic. What I learned from him is how to be a really, really good codie. I went from him to 2 other relationships with crack addicts (the first is the one who introduced me to crack).
I now understand that how I feel about MYSELF is what led to me getting with these men. I guess I thought that they just hadn't been "loved good enough"....so wrong. I thought I could "fix" them, but instead, just made myself sicker. I didn't know it at the time, though. It's only after I came here and started working on my codie behaviors that it became clear. I'm taking a time-out from relationships until I get ME straightened out!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
'Round and 'Round I Go....
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 478
I'm with Hangin' on this one too.
I thought my exah was the one with all of the problems but then after the divorce and I had time to sit down with just me, myself and I, I did a lot of thinking and work on myself including analyzing my own behaviors and decisions. I found out that my issues with codie behavior stems way back before exah even entered my life. I had and still have some issues of my own to battle but realizing what they are was a gift that I would not return. There is truly a reason why we are attracted to and attract the people we do. It's the same reason why an addict can hone in on another addict in a room full of people. We put off a certain energy...I believe.
I thought my exah was the one with all of the problems but then after the divorce and I had time to sit down with just me, myself and I, I did a lot of thinking and work on myself including analyzing my own behaviors and decisions. I found out that my issues with codie behavior stems way back before exah even entered my life. I had and still have some issues of my own to battle but realizing what they are was a gift that I would not return. There is truly a reason why we are attracted to and attract the people we do. It's the same reason why an addict can hone in on another addict in a room full of people. We put off a certain energy...I believe.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Well I was married to a crack addict and beleive me, this is going to be the way your life is going to be and not any better. You think there is choas now, the rollercoaster is just warming up.
Run....!
Rose
Run....!
Rose
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