Question About Crack
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 17
Question About Crack
Hello everyone! Can someone please tell me how a person acts that is using crack? I am dating a guy that use to smoke crack a lot. Even went to rehab because of it. I think he might be smoking it again but he totally denies it.
He has totally let his appearance go. He bathes only once a week, brushes his teeth a couple of times a week, sits up all night long by himself looking at the TV and goes to bed at 5:00 a.m. with all his clothes on. His pupils are dielated (huge) and he talks really goofy (although he doesn't talk very much) and his head kinda bounces. When he is not high, he says he just drank too much and that I don't know what I'm talking about. Although there is no alcohol in sight. When he does drink, he is very chatty, so I know it is not alcohol.
I would like to know if these are signs of crack use or what are the signs. I am not going to put up with someone that is using crack. Can someone please help?
He has totally let his appearance go. He bathes only once a week, brushes his teeth a couple of times a week, sits up all night long by himself looking at the TV and goes to bed at 5:00 a.m. with all his clothes on. His pupils are dielated (huge) and he talks really goofy (although he doesn't talk very much) and his head kinda bounces. When he is not high, he says he just drank too much and that I don't know what I'm talking about. Although there is no alcohol in sight. When he does drink, he is very chatty, so I know it is not alcohol.
I would like to know if these are signs of crack use or what are the signs. I am not going to put up with someone that is using crack. Can someone please help?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 697
Here is a list I found online:
* Definite changes in personality or behavior.
* Loss of concentration.
* Weight loss
* Loss of household valuables or unexplained vanishing cash.
* Association with people known to use drugs
* Marked agitation
* Animosity toward family members and friends.
* Altered sleep patterns.
* Loss of interest in appearance.
* Extreme paranoia (suspicious of everyone).
* Restlessness
* Anxiety
Even if he's not on crack, it sounds like he's on something. Alcohol doesn't do to someone what he claims is doing to him. He's not taking care of himself. He's not showering, brushing his teeth. That's enough for me to put some distance between a guy. He is showing no interest in hygeine.
If I suspected this, I would probably go the other direction and tell him it's been nice, but you can't be with someone that you suspect of using drugs. If he isn't, then you can't be with someone who has so little respect for himself that he won't bathe and he's keeping the hours of a 14 year old.
Again, not sure if it's crack, but he's on something, especially if his pupils are that dilated.
* Definite changes in personality or behavior.
* Loss of concentration.
* Weight loss
* Loss of household valuables or unexplained vanishing cash.
* Association with people known to use drugs
* Marked agitation
* Animosity toward family members and friends.
* Altered sleep patterns.
* Loss of interest in appearance.
* Extreme paranoia (suspicious of everyone).
* Restlessness
* Anxiety
Even if he's not on crack, it sounds like he's on something. Alcohol doesn't do to someone what he claims is doing to him. He's not taking care of himself. He's not showering, brushing his teeth. That's enough for me to put some distance between a guy. He is showing no interest in hygeine.
If I suspected this, I would probably go the other direction and tell him it's been nice, but you can't be with someone that you suspect of using drugs. If he isn't, then you can't be with someone who has so little respect for himself that he won't bathe and he's keeping the hours of a 14 year old.
Again, not sure if it's crack, but he's on something, especially if his pupils are that dilated.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by Warmheart4U 
Hello everyone! Can someone please tell me how a person acts that is using crack? I am dating a guy that use to smoke crack a lot. Even went to rehab because of it. I think he might be smoking it again but he totally denies it.
He has totally let his appearance go. He bathes only once a week, brushes his teeth a couple of times a week, sits up all night long by himself looking at the TV and goes to bed at 5:00 a.m. with all his clothes on. His pupils are dielated (huge) and he talks really goofy (although he doesn't talk very much) and his head kinda bounces. When he is not high, he says he just drank too much and that I don't know what I'm talking about. Although there is no alcohol in sight. When he does drink, he is very chatty, so I know it is not alcohol.
I would like to know if these are signs of crack use or what are the signs. I am not going to put up with someone that is using crack. Can someone please help?
He has totally let his appearance go. He bathes only once a week, brushes his teeth a couple of times a week, sits up all night long by himself looking at the TV and goes to bed at 5:00 a.m. with all his clothes on. His pupils are dielated (huge) and he talks really goofy (although he doesn't talk very much) and his head kinda bounces. When he is not high, he says he just drank too much and that I don't know what I'm talking about. Although there is no alcohol in sight. When he does drink, he is very chatty, so I know it is not alcohol.
I would like to know if these are signs of crack use or what are the signs. I am not going to put up with someone that is using crack. Can someone please help?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 17
Zombiewife, thank you for the list. I was trying to find something like that online, but couldn't. Yes, that is another thing. He doesn't eat for a couple of days. I happened to mention it to his mother and he yelled at me for telling her. Also, he is doing this more and more often. It use to be once every couple of weeks, now it is about three times a week.
Good idea. I think I will try to find an Al-anon meeting to attend.
Good idea. I think I will try to find an Al-anon meeting to attend.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Signs of Crack Addiction
The signs of crack addiction are very similar to cocaine addiction. However, there are many differences between how the drugs are used and the duration and types of effects experienced by the user. Crack, sometimes called "Rock", is a purified form of cocaine that is smoked by inhaling the vapors of cocaine that are given off as the drug is heated. Crack is cocaine has been distilled form its familiar powder form of cocaine hydrochloride. Cocaine powder is put into a mixture with baking soda, heated, hardened and then broken into pieces. Crack is often more pure than sniffable cocaine (85%-90% pure). It is sold as light brown or beige pellets. Drug dealers distribute ready to smoke freebase cocaine packaged in small vials.
Crack is typically smoked in pipes constructed of glass bowls fitted with one or more fine mesh screens that support the drug. The user heats the side of the bowl (usually with a lighter), and the heat causes the cocaine base to vaporize. The user inhales the cocaine-laden fumes through the pipe. Alternatively, crack cocaine can be sprinkled in cigarettes and smoked. Usually the crack is ground up and sprinkled into a marijuana joint and smoked. These cocaine laced joints are referred to as primos. The vapors of the freebase are absorbed through the lungs into the bloodstream and transported to the brain within 10-15 seconds. One inhalation will produce a degree of intoxication usually lasting 10-15 minutes. The drug is said to take its name from the crackling noise it makes when it is smoked.
Crack is a purified form cocaine. Two or three doses can cause addiction. Because this smokable form of cocaine delivers 10 times the impact of "snorting" the powder, casual use can cause death from heart or respiratory failure. Crack smokers also run an increased risk of addiction and paranoid psychosis. The high from smoking crack lasts between 5 to 7 minutes and is followed by severe depression, feelings of worthlessness, and a craving for more of the drug. In a brief period of time, crack begins to control the user. This is the pattern of behavior that leads to addiction and dependence. The compulsion to continue to use crack has led to the "binges" that are often described by users. During a binge, Crack is smoked continuously until money and/or drug supplies are gone, or the user experiences physical collapse. The need for crack supersedes every other need, leading to crime and violence to acquire it.
Crack addicts have many tell tale signs of their addiction. A few physical signs of crack addiction include dilated pupils, sweating, weight loss, irregular heartbeat, frequent upper respiratory infections, fits of coughing, coughing up black mucous, muscle tremors, severe headaches and a decline in personal appearance. Additionally, a few emotional signs of crack addiction include dramatic mood changes, and insomnia followed by exhaustion, loss of interest in friends, loss of interest in food, sex, or other pleasures, hearing voices and hallucinations.
Signs of crack addiction and abuse
Physical effects of crack cocaine addiction
Below is a list of physical effects of crack addiction:
* changes in blood pressure, heart rates, and breathing rates
* nausea and vomiting
* anxiety
* convulsions
* insomnia
* loss of appetite leading to malnutrition and weight loss
* cold sweats
* swelling and bleeding of mucous membranes
* restlessness and anxiety
* damage to nasal cavities
* damage to lungs
* possible heart attacks, strokes, or convulsions
Dangers of crack use
Crack is particularly dangerous for several reasons:
* Crack is inhaled and rapidly absorbed through the lungs, into the blood, and carried swiftly to the brain. The chances of overdosing and poisoning leading to coma, convulsions, and death are greatly increased. Crack's rapid rush-5 to 7 minutes of intense pleasure- quickly subsides, leading to depression that needs to be relieved by more crack. This cycle enhances the chances of addiction and dependency. Because of the brief high, users are constantly thinking about and devising ways to get more crack.
* Psychologically, the drug reduces concentration, ambition, and drive, and increases confusion and irritability, wreaking havoc on users' professional and personal lives. Habitual use may lead to cocaine psychosis, causing paranoia, hallucinations, and a condition known as formication, in which insects or snakes are perceived to be crawling under the skin. The paranoia and depression can instigate violent and suicidal behavior.
* The side effects of adulterants increase cocaine's risks. The drug is often cut with one or more of any number of other substances, such as the cheaper drugs procaine, lidocaine, and benzocaine, and substances that pose no serious risks, such as sugars (mannitol and sucrose), or starches. However, when quinine or amphetamines are added, the potential for serious side effects increases dramatically.
Effects of crack use
Facilitated by the large surface area of the lungs' air sacs, cocaine administered by inhalation is absorbed almost immediately into the bloodstream, taking only 19 seconds to reach the brain. However, only 30 to 60 percent of the available dose is absorbed due to incomplete inhalation of the cocaine-laden fumes and variations in the heating temperature.
Crack smokers achieve maximum physiological effects approximately two minutes after inhalation. Maximum psychotropic effects are attained approximately one minute after inhalation. Similar to intravenous administration, the physiological and psychotropic effects of inhaled cocaine are sustained for approximately 30 minutes after peak effects are attained.
During the early use of crack the effects include:
* magnification of pleasure, euphoria
* alertness and in some cases - hyper-alertness
* increased and sometimes a (grandiose) sense of well being
* decreased anxiety
* lower social inhibitions: more sociable and talkative
* heightened energy, self-esteem, sexuality and emotions aroused by interpersonal experiences
* appetite loss; weight loss
* after compulsive use the effects of crack are:
* extreme euphoria - "mental orgasm"
* uninhibited
* impaired judgment
* grandiosity
* impulsively
* hyper-sexuality
* hyper-vigilance
* compulsivity
* extreme psychomotor activation/agitation
* anxiety; irritability; argumentative
* transient panic
* paranoia
* terror of impending death
* poor reality testing; delusions
* extreme weight loss
The signs of crack addiction are very similar to cocaine addiction. However, there are many differences between how the drugs are used and the duration and types of effects experienced by the user. Crack, sometimes called "Rock", is a purified form of cocaine that is smoked by inhaling the vapors of cocaine that are given off as the drug is heated. Crack is cocaine has been distilled form its familiar powder form of cocaine hydrochloride. Cocaine powder is put into a mixture with baking soda, heated, hardened and then broken into pieces. Crack is often more pure than sniffable cocaine (85%-90% pure). It is sold as light brown or beige pellets. Drug dealers distribute ready to smoke freebase cocaine packaged in small vials.
Crack is typically smoked in pipes constructed of glass bowls fitted with one or more fine mesh screens that support the drug. The user heats the side of the bowl (usually with a lighter), and the heat causes the cocaine base to vaporize. The user inhales the cocaine-laden fumes through the pipe. Alternatively, crack cocaine can be sprinkled in cigarettes and smoked. Usually the crack is ground up and sprinkled into a marijuana joint and smoked. These cocaine laced joints are referred to as primos. The vapors of the freebase are absorbed through the lungs into the bloodstream and transported to the brain within 10-15 seconds. One inhalation will produce a degree of intoxication usually lasting 10-15 minutes. The drug is said to take its name from the crackling noise it makes when it is smoked.
Crack is a purified form cocaine. Two or three doses can cause addiction. Because this smokable form of cocaine delivers 10 times the impact of "snorting" the powder, casual use can cause death from heart or respiratory failure. Crack smokers also run an increased risk of addiction and paranoid psychosis. The high from smoking crack lasts between 5 to 7 minutes and is followed by severe depression, feelings of worthlessness, and a craving for more of the drug. In a brief period of time, crack begins to control the user. This is the pattern of behavior that leads to addiction and dependence. The compulsion to continue to use crack has led to the "binges" that are often described by users. During a binge, Crack is smoked continuously until money and/or drug supplies are gone, or the user experiences physical collapse. The need for crack supersedes every other need, leading to crime and violence to acquire it.
Crack addicts have many tell tale signs of their addiction. A few physical signs of crack addiction include dilated pupils, sweating, weight loss, irregular heartbeat, frequent upper respiratory infections, fits of coughing, coughing up black mucous, muscle tremors, severe headaches and a decline in personal appearance. Additionally, a few emotional signs of crack addiction include dramatic mood changes, and insomnia followed by exhaustion, loss of interest in friends, loss of interest in food, sex, or other pleasures, hearing voices and hallucinations.
Signs of crack addiction and abuse
Physical effects of crack cocaine addiction
Below is a list of physical effects of crack addiction:
* changes in blood pressure, heart rates, and breathing rates
* nausea and vomiting
* anxiety
* convulsions
* insomnia
* loss of appetite leading to malnutrition and weight loss
* cold sweats
* swelling and bleeding of mucous membranes
* restlessness and anxiety
* damage to nasal cavities
* damage to lungs
* possible heart attacks, strokes, or convulsions
Dangers of crack use
Crack is particularly dangerous for several reasons:
* Crack is inhaled and rapidly absorbed through the lungs, into the blood, and carried swiftly to the brain. The chances of overdosing and poisoning leading to coma, convulsions, and death are greatly increased. Crack's rapid rush-5 to 7 minutes of intense pleasure- quickly subsides, leading to depression that needs to be relieved by more crack. This cycle enhances the chances of addiction and dependency. Because of the brief high, users are constantly thinking about and devising ways to get more crack.
* Psychologically, the drug reduces concentration, ambition, and drive, and increases confusion and irritability, wreaking havoc on users' professional and personal lives. Habitual use may lead to cocaine psychosis, causing paranoia, hallucinations, and a condition known as formication, in which insects or snakes are perceived to be crawling under the skin. The paranoia and depression can instigate violent and suicidal behavior.
* The side effects of adulterants increase cocaine's risks. The drug is often cut with one or more of any number of other substances, such as the cheaper drugs procaine, lidocaine, and benzocaine, and substances that pose no serious risks, such as sugars (mannitol and sucrose), or starches. However, when quinine or amphetamines are added, the potential for serious side effects increases dramatically.
Effects of crack use
Facilitated by the large surface area of the lungs' air sacs, cocaine administered by inhalation is absorbed almost immediately into the bloodstream, taking only 19 seconds to reach the brain. However, only 30 to 60 percent of the available dose is absorbed due to incomplete inhalation of the cocaine-laden fumes and variations in the heating temperature.
Crack smokers achieve maximum physiological effects approximately two minutes after inhalation. Maximum psychotropic effects are attained approximately one minute after inhalation. Similar to intravenous administration, the physiological and psychotropic effects of inhaled cocaine are sustained for approximately 30 minutes after peak effects are attained.
During the early use of crack the effects include:
* magnification of pleasure, euphoria
* alertness and in some cases - hyper-alertness
* increased and sometimes a (grandiose) sense of well being
* decreased anxiety
* lower social inhibitions: more sociable and talkative
* heightened energy, self-esteem, sexuality and emotions aroused by interpersonal experiences
* appetite loss; weight loss
* after compulsive use the effects of crack are:
* extreme euphoria - "mental orgasm"
* uninhibited
* impaired judgment
* grandiosity
* impulsively
* hyper-sexuality
* hyper-vigilance
* compulsivity
* extreme psychomotor activation/agitation
* anxiety; irritability; argumentative
* transient panic
* paranoia
* terror of impending death
* poor reality testing; delusions
* extreme weight loss
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Not to derail, but looking at the side effects etc. scares the heck out of me and being in a totally clean, sober and recovery focused place I can't imagine using it.
Alter my mind just a little and I would probably consider it, alter it a little more and I wouldn't think twice. It's sad but true.
Alter my mind just a little and I would probably consider it, alter it a little more and I wouldn't think twice. It's sad but true.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 17
Done-With-It thank you so much for all of the info. This explains so many things. Why sometimes he is so nice to me and then other times he is calling me names and putting me down for no reason.
I just want to get my facts straight before I do anything. I just can't tolerate his actions anymore. He always tries to make me feel that I am over reacting and don't know what I'm talking about.
I found a crack pipe, steel wool and a lighter in his little travel bag. I showed it to him and he said it belonged to a friend that borrowed the bag. He told me to throw it away. That he could get in big trouble for having something like that.
He just shruggs everything off and says he is not that stupid.
I just want to get my facts straight before I do anything. I just can't tolerate his actions anymore. He always tries to make me feel that I am over reacting and don't know what I'm talking about.
I found a crack pipe, steel wool and a lighter in his little travel bag. I showed it to him and he said it belonged to a friend that borrowed the bag. He told me to throw it away. That he could get in big trouble for having something like that.
He just shruggs everything off and says he is not that stupid.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I'm a recovering crack addict. To be honest, I've seen people act a LOT of different ways on crack. I got quiet. Others, you couldn't shut them up. It will keep you awake..I would not sleep for 3-4 days, when I was doing it 24/7. I didn't eat and didn't care about my appearance.
I'm sorry, but a "recovering" crack addict would NOT have a crack pipe anywhere near them. I'm almost 17 months clean and 2 months into recovery (after a bad relapse), found 2 crack pipes my ex had hidden under my floor mat of my car...I immediately threw them out onto the interstate. I feel strong in my recovery, but there is NO WAY I will put myself around crack or a pipe.
The reason he said to throw it away is to try to make you believe that it isn't his. It's too easy to find another pipe.
I don't know about the pupils...honestly never paid attention. He may be doing something else along WITH the crack...lots of people do that and heroin.
Be very careful....if you were to be pulled over in your car, and they found a crack pipe, YOU would be charged with possession of drug paraphenalia. Crack addicts will hide pipes in places you'd never imagine.
Take care of you...sounds like he's not serious about recovery. He will drag you down, fast, if you let him. Also, be careful with you money, bank cards, credit cards, etc. Crack addicts will also sell just about anything to get crack.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm sorry, but a "recovering" crack addict would NOT have a crack pipe anywhere near them. I'm almost 17 months clean and 2 months into recovery (after a bad relapse), found 2 crack pipes my ex had hidden under my floor mat of my car...I immediately threw them out onto the interstate. I feel strong in my recovery, but there is NO WAY I will put myself around crack or a pipe.
The reason he said to throw it away is to try to make you believe that it isn't his. It's too easy to find another pipe.
I don't know about the pupils...honestly never paid attention. He may be doing something else along WITH the crack...lots of people do that and heroin.
Be very careful....if you were to be pulled over in your car, and they found a crack pipe, YOU would be charged with possession of drug paraphenalia. Crack addicts will hide pipes in places you'd never imagine.
Take care of you...sounds like he's not serious about recovery. He will drag you down, fast, if you let him. Also, be careful with you money, bank cards, credit cards, etc. Crack addicts will also sell just about anything to get crack.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 697
Ahh, the ole, "it's not mine, it belongs to someone else" excuse. I daresay that every single one of us (or close to) have heard that one before. And the, "I wouldn't be that stupid" or "I wouldn't put you or myself at risk!"
My suggestion is to go with your gut. Drug use or not--someone that puts you down out of the blue and has mood swings like that? Not someone I want to be around in any way, shape or form. Your identity and sanity are precious. The longer you hold on, the more you are dragged down.
My suggestion is to go with your gut. Drug use or not--someone that puts you down out of the blue and has mood swings like that? Not someone I want to be around in any way, shape or form. Your identity and sanity are precious. The longer you hold on, the more you are dragged down.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Originally Posted by Warmheart4U
Done-With-It thank you so much for all of the info. This explains so many things. Why sometimes he is so nice to me and then other times he is calling me names and putting me down for no reason.
I just want to get my facts straight before I do anything. I just can't tolerate his actions anymore. He always tries to make me feel that I am over reacting and don't know what I'm talking about.
I found a crack pipe, steel wool and a lighter in his little travel bag. I showed it to him and he said it belonged to a friend that borrowed the bag. He told me to throw it away. That he could get in big trouble for having something like that.
He just shruggs everything off and says he is not that stupid.
I just want to get my facts straight before I do anything. I just can't tolerate his actions anymore. He always tries to make me feel that I am over reacting and don't know what I'm talking about.
I found a crack pipe, steel wool and a lighter in his little travel bag. I showed it to him and he said it belonged to a friend that borrowed the bag. He told me to throw it away. That he could get in big trouble for having something like that.
He just shruggs everything off and says he is not that stupid.
It sounds to me like you have your answer as to what you need to do.
I agree with Amy a recovering crack addict would never have that pipe near him. I have no experience with crack addiction but I do meth addicition, and when I have found meth related stuff I FUUUUHHHRRREAKK OUT...
My heart races, my head spins around in circles like the exorcist, just kidding, but that is honestly how I feel, I need to get away from that stuff.
No way could I hold it...
I just watched a movie called Guilt By Association, I believe the laws have changed, but still it's a good movie to watch. Was a good eye opening movie...
Good luck to you and glad you are here..
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
Lots of good advice given....
I think you know what you need to do but perhaps need justification for doing it....
if it's crack...run for your life...
if it's not crack....run anyway....he isn't treating you the way you deserve to be treated...
imagine your life 5 years from now...is this part of the picture??
I found a crack pipe, steel wool and a lighter in his little travel bag. I showed it to him and he said it belonged to a friend that borrowed the bag. He told me to throw it away. That he could get in big trouble for having something like that.
addicts are the most self centered people around....
they do not hold onto or take care of their friend's possessions...
there isn't anyone here at SR that hasn't heard this explanation...
and it has NEVER been true....not once
please take care of yourself...
no one can tell you to stay or go but please think long and hard about where this path will lead
I think you know what you need to do but perhaps need justification for doing it....
if it's crack...run for your life...
if it's not crack....run anyway....he isn't treating you the way you deserve to be treated...
imagine your life 5 years from now...is this part of the picture??
Originally Posted by Warmheart4U
I found a crack pipe, steel wool and a lighter in his little travel bag. I showed it to him and he said it belonged to a friend that borrowed the bag. He told me to throw it away. That he could get in big trouble for having something like that.
they do not hold onto or take care of their friend's possessions...
there isn't anyone here at SR that hasn't heard this explanation...
and it has NEVER been true....not once
please take care of yourself...
no one can tell you to stay or go but please think long and hard about where this path will lead
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Woodland, CA
Posts: 28
If you think he's using....he's using.
Warmheart4U - I am in total agreement with what everyone has said about your suspicions. My husband OD'd May 7th from smoking crack & heroin. I was with him for 18 yrs., which was a roller coaster of sobriety, relapse, rehab, relapse, etc., etc. He told me the same lies - it isn't mine. He exhibited the same behavior as you describe. When I questioned him about his using, he'd yell at me and try to make me feel guilty for even suspecting he was using! Crack addicts are master manipulators. Get out while you can! My grief is sometimes overwhelming and in retrospect, I wish I would have gotten out before he died. There were many, many red flags, but I chose to ignore them for one reason or another. Not until the addict is honest with himself and totally committed to his recovery, will you ever have a chance at a happy life with him. GET OUT NOW before you suffer the same outcome I am. Take it from me, no one deserves the chaos and pain that comes from living with an active crack user. Recovery is possible, but it takes alot of hard work on the addict's part & it doesn't sound like your addict is there yet. Take care of yourself and run away from him as fast as you can. Crack turns even the nicest, most intelligent, considerate, trustworthy person into a lying, cheating, selfish, undependable, unreliable, hurtful slave to the drug. The addict cares only about one thing - getting high at whatever the cost. Unfortunately, it cost my husband his life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 17
Yes, believe me, I would like to run. However, he lives with me. It is not going to be easy trying to tell him why I want him to leave my house when he totally denies everything and I don't have any cold hard facts. I've even have the phone number to his drug dealer. He doesn't know I have that, but what can I do with that?
He tells me I don't know what I'm talking about. I've got to decide what I'm gonna do. He has way too much stuff at my house for me to just sit his things outside.
He tells me I don't know what I'm talking about. I've got to decide what I'm gonna do. He has way too much stuff at my house for me to just sit his things outside.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 697
Even if it's not crack, you want him to leave. It's your house. He will continue to deny it. He will continue to tell you that you have no idea what you're talking about. Next time he does that, whip out the drug test (they sell them at Walgreens) and say, "ok, pee. If it comes back dirty. You're gone. If you don't do it, you're gone. You have all kinds of choices here. What is it?"
If that's too over the top for you (maybe it is, but it's a nice thought!) just tell him you're done and want him out. Bring support if you need, if you have a father, brother, male friend, any friend who can be there with you if he gets unruly or nasty. Having someone there sends a VERY clear message. You're not foolin' around, you're not being cute. You may not (in his eyes) "know what you are talking about" but you KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
/big hugs
Or, will his parents help him? Can you call them and say, "I'm done, do you know who can come take his stuff?"
If that's too over the top for you (maybe it is, but it's a nice thought!) just tell him you're done and want him out. Bring support if you need, if you have a father, brother, male friend, any friend who can be there with you if he gets unruly or nasty. Having someone there sends a VERY clear message. You're not foolin' around, you're not being cute. You may not (in his eyes) "know what you are talking about" but you KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
/big hugs
Or, will his parents help him? Can you call them and say, "I'm done, do you know who can come take his stuff?"
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I agree with Anvil...if you want him out of your house, then make him go. You dont' have to have proof. People split up all the time, for reasons other than addiction. When the relationship is no longer working for you, you have the right to end it.
Life is way too short to spend it with someone who doesn't respect you and treat you with compassion.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Life is way too short to spend it with someone who doesn't respect you and treat you with compassion.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 17
My boyfriend left last Friday to go visit his daughter 200 miles away. I broke my arm last weekend, had surgery on it last Thursday and he hasn't even called to see how I am doing since he left.
He was high when he left last Friday, and I know he got a call from a friend of his in the same town where he was going that just got out of the county jail. His friend is a homeless alcoholic and wants to come back here to our town.
So I am sure he has been high with this guy since Friday. When he left here on Friday, he didn't take change of clothes, toothbrush, razor, hairbrush, nothing. He has turned into such a nasty pig.
I don't know what I will see today when he shows up. His mother told me he was in rehab for seven months for crack about a year and a half ago.
It is going to be hell when he shows up here tonight. He will try to turn everything around to blame me somehow.
He was high when he left last Friday, and I know he got a call from a friend of his in the same town where he was going that just got out of the county jail. His friend is a homeless alcoholic and wants to come back here to our town.
So I am sure he has been high with this guy since Friday. When he left here on Friday, he didn't take change of clothes, toothbrush, razor, hairbrush, nothing. He has turned into such a nasty pig.
I don't know what I will see today when he shows up. His mother told me he was in rehab for seven months for crack about a year and a half ago.
It is going to be hell when he shows up here tonight. He will try to turn everything around to blame me somehow.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 697
Does it matter if he does blame you and turn it around? You want him out.
Buy some boxes and start packing his stuff up. You can do a lot, even with one arm. Ask someone to help you.
Again, it doesn't matter what he says, right? He's going to be nasty, mean, inconsiderate and thoughtless no matter what.
If he cleaned himself up, took showers, got a job, shaved, changed clothing and still treated you like crap, would you stay with him just because he didn't stink?
If you are afraid for how he might act, invite someone over to help. Hell, if I lived near you, I'd come over and do it just to burn some extra calories.
Buy some boxes and start packing his stuff up. You can do a lot, even with one arm. Ask someone to help you.
Again, it doesn't matter what he says, right? He's going to be nasty, mean, inconsiderate and thoughtless no matter what.
If he cleaned himself up, took showers, got a job, shaved, changed clothing and still treated you like crap, would you stay with him just because he didn't stink?
If you are afraid for how he might act, invite someone over to help. Hell, if I lived near you, I'd come over and do it just to burn some extra calories.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
