Trying to focus on the anger/bad and not allow myself to cave again.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 60
Callie- I can relate to how you are feeling the only differnce is my husband has gone into treatment but I am still angry for all the damage he has done and I am fearful of a relapse. I hold onto the anger for a while and start to make plans for a divorce then I feel so miserable and try to make things work because it feels right and how can I leave him when he is getting clean. As soon as the consequences for his actions surface I get so hurt and angry I put on a protection shield and am ready to start the divorce procedures. His consequences in case you have not read previously are- possibly getting kicked out of school and felony charges for embezzelment (stealing drugs from pharmacy he worked at). These consequences would mean losing our house and everything. I don't make enough money to support the kids and myself. If we actually lose evrything I feel I will never be able to forgive him. We are in limbo for a couple weeks before he finds out for sure what the consequences will be. I am a nervous wreck waiting. Oh and it is our anniversary next week. I am assuming we won't be celebrating just like we didn't last year because of us fighting.
Sorry I went on about my story- I just wanted to say I can relate!
Sorry I went on about my story- I just wanted to say I can relate!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
---Copying this from SA to give an update here--- Thanks for reading. 
well what a day, I am exhausted. Emotionally, physically I am just spent. AH still says percocet. He was suppose to go into to talk to ADMIN about his job. Administration AND a company dr. are looking at this. AH says he was pulled off the line and had someone physically supervise his urine test. Supposedly the urine wasn't sent in on time, complications etc. AH goes to his meeting today and the Dr. and ADMIN say that it's inconclusive. They said his urine is missing creatinine (??). I have NO clue what that means, but AH is telling me that they're saying the test is a "substitute"?
By this I mean something as in he stuck a fake p*&is in his pants and pushed out "artificial pee?" AH swears this did not happen. But his company says that unless he can prove that he has a kidney problem which would cause him to not create creatinine in his urine that they would deem it as "artificial urine" and will most likely be fired. This story sounds completely ridiculous. I know that, but does anyone know ANYTHING about ANY of this?? I KNOW AH would do the fake pe&*s thing, but I don't know that he would have had the time to "prepare for that." As I said before he'd JUST gotten drugs - he says he "felt and saw xyz manager looking/watching him." So he didn't take them then.
Also, AH has extreme street smarts. He can wiggle his way out of almost any of this. He HAS already thought about the fact that he did have an rx for percocet 1.5 years ago. He's already said he could call his Dr. and have him write it in his report that AH takes leftover perc's for migraines. Obviously from "MY" standpoint I don't care HOW he gets out of this, right or wrong, I just want him TO get out of this. I'm talking about a decent amt of child support, great insurance for my kids. I'm desperate and right or wrong I don't want him to take down my kids and I monetarily for his own problems.
Also, I went and told my parents today. It was such a bad thing - I couldn't stop shaking, couldn't get my thoughts together. Not trying to sound like a total snot here, but my parents are pillars of society. Drugs are NOT from my family. We have no divorces, go to church regularly, are completely law abiding citizens ect. I HAD to tell them because I didn't want them to hear this (about AH's job) from someone on the street. I held it in as long as I could to protect him, but it became that I had to protect them. I imagined them being asked by someone at a social setting and them having no clue.
I did tell them - their faces just dropped - lots of tears later they stand behind me - but yet I can tell that they have a fear of letting him fall too. They see the same good in him that I've seen. I don't really have the time or energy to go into that right now, but it was terrible telling them.
Any suggestions as to wth is going on with the creatnine missing from the urine? You guys have been more helpful in determining AH's thinking than what I could come up with. Also, I feel bad about posting on the SA board when I really should be on the FFSA board. Thank you so much for your help. I told my parents this too - you guys have been such lifesavers. Without you telling me the ins and outs he would have pulled the wool over my eyes so fast it's not funny.
Right now I am just a mess. I feel like I'm going to pass out because I haven't eaten one thing in the past 2 days, but I feel like if I do, I'll puke. A great diet I suppose to lose those "unwanted" 10 lbs that I've packed on during the last year of crap. I've never looked or felt worse in my life.
well what a day, I am exhausted. Emotionally, physically I am just spent. AH still says percocet. He was suppose to go into to talk to ADMIN about his job. Administration AND a company dr. are looking at this. AH says he was pulled off the line and had someone physically supervise his urine test. Supposedly the urine wasn't sent in on time, complications etc. AH goes to his meeting today and the Dr. and ADMIN say that it's inconclusive. They said his urine is missing creatinine (??). I have NO clue what that means, but AH is telling me that they're saying the test is a "substitute"?
By this I mean something as in he stuck a fake p*&is in his pants and pushed out "artificial pee?" AH swears this did not happen. But his company says that unless he can prove that he has a kidney problem which would cause him to not create creatinine in his urine that they would deem it as "artificial urine" and will most likely be fired. This story sounds completely ridiculous. I know that, but does anyone know ANYTHING about ANY of this?? I KNOW AH would do the fake pe&*s thing, but I don't know that he would have had the time to "prepare for that." As I said before he'd JUST gotten drugs - he says he "felt and saw xyz manager looking/watching him." So he didn't take them then.
Also, AH has extreme street smarts. He can wiggle his way out of almost any of this. He HAS already thought about the fact that he did have an rx for percocet 1.5 years ago. He's already said he could call his Dr. and have him write it in his report that AH takes leftover perc's for migraines. Obviously from "MY" standpoint I don't care HOW he gets out of this, right or wrong, I just want him TO get out of this. I'm talking about a decent amt of child support, great insurance for my kids. I'm desperate and right or wrong I don't want him to take down my kids and I monetarily for his own problems.
Also, I went and told my parents today. It was such a bad thing - I couldn't stop shaking, couldn't get my thoughts together. Not trying to sound like a total snot here, but my parents are pillars of society. Drugs are NOT from my family. We have no divorces, go to church regularly, are completely law abiding citizens ect. I HAD to tell them because I didn't want them to hear this (about AH's job) from someone on the street. I held it in as long as I could to protect him, but it became that I had to protect them. I imagined them being asked by someone at a social setting and them having no clue.
I did tell them - their faces just dropped - lots of tears later they stand behind me - but yet I can tell that they have a fear of letting him fall too. They see the same good in him that I've seen. I don't really have the time or energy to go into that right now, but it was terrible telling them.
Any suggestions as to wth is going on with the creatnine missing from the urine? You guys have been more helpful in determining AH's thinking than what I could come up with. Also, I feel bad about posting on the SA board when I really should be on the FFSA board. Thank you so much for your help. I told my parents this too - you guys have been such lifesavers. Without you telling me the ins and outs he would have pulled the wool over my eyes so fast it's not funny.
Right now I am just a mess. I feel like I'm going to pass out because I haven't eaten one thing in the past 2 days, but I feel like if I do, I'll puke. A great diet I suppose to lose those "unwanted" 10 lbs that I've packed on during the last year of crap. I've never looked or felt worse in my life.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
Callie..... I've been following your threads..... and have been thinking about you. I don't know about the drug test and how all that works, time will tell.
I can tell you from personal experience, something that helps and helped me was doing Hot Yoga.... do you like doing yoga or have you thought about doing it? It is not only a physical release, but also mental and emotional! The classes are 90 minutes long... and those are 90 minutes just for "me"... I highly recommend them!
((((HUGS))))
I can tell you from personal experience, something that helps and helped me was doing Hot Yoga.... do you like doing yoga or have you thought about doing it? It is not only a physical release, but also mental and emotional! The classes are 90 minutes long... and those are 90 minutes just for "me"... I highly recommend them!
((((HUGS))))
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 60
Callie- Take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. Make sure if you can't eat you are at least getting in some fluids. One thing I have realized is we can no longer count on a man for our future. We have to do whatever we can to take care of ourselves and children. I feel for you as I know what you are going through!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
Update - I need any help that anyone can give me. Ah had an appt with admin about his situation. Apparantly the creatinine fell below 2 which. That level fell below normal. This means the the company deems the sample a "substitute" (aka tampered with or fake urine.) H has talked with his family doc as well as rehab and they've pulled past tests up and his level fell below the normal for creatinine every time. So apparantly this is "normal" for AH - even when he was out of rehab and clean. They are still saying that unless he can get a nephrologist (kidney doc) to substantiate this BY THURSDAY that he is fired. He's been on the phone all day as well as the receptionist at his family doc trying to get an appt. The soonest he can get in is July 1, which falls outside the deadline.
The other option he was given was to do a hair analysis. AH says he's taken percocet, percodan, loracet and said he did have some 10 mg of oxy's about 1.5 months ago. He said he would take them usually Thursday through Sunday at minimum levels and be sick/feel like crap Monday - Wednesday. His hair is short, but he fears that if he takes a hair test that the oxy might show up (from 1.5 months ago). I don't even know if they would test for percocet in a hair analysis.
This has really rocked AH to the core and he says he'll never be in this situation again. The fact that the use is now somewhat public and that he's endangering an entire families well being that it's just not worth it. I am not saying that I believe him, but at this point I want to do everything that I can (right or wrong) for him to keep his job. It affects myself and my two kids whether we're married or not. I am so humiliated by his actions and he is embarassed to even go out in public. I know that he deserves to be fired, but does anyone have any info or suggestions as to what to do?
They will NOT accept another urine test, they do not care that his creatinine levels have ALWAYS been low. He's thinking that they're trying to pin him for all of the family leave that he's taken in the last 6 months. I'm starting to think that too. He deserves this, I know. I'm being totally codependant, I know - but he makes VERY good money and has been @ this job for 19 years. I've never seen him this low. He's offered to take another blood or urine test - they refuse. He can get his family doc to verify that he did indeed have rx's for the drugs (or most) that he was taking, but the rx's were expired.
I am just a complete mess and am totally scrambling to help him figure SOMETHING out. He's still @ his moms and this most likely will be the end of us, but does anyone have ANY ideas?? His company does not have a union so they can do pretty much anything that they want.
Please don't tell me to step back and let him find his way. I've done this for the past week, but this is getting to be crunch time and he needs to figure SOMETHING out. Who is going to want to hire him after he's fired for drug use. He's even thought of calling a lawyer to see what he could do.
Does anyone know anything about a hair test - do they even test for percocet, lorocet, percodan? How long would 10 mg oxy last in a hair test? I'm not just fighting for him right now - I'm more trying to fight for very good insurance and very good child support. I will take any advice that I can. Again, I KNOW that he should be fired - but this will be devastating financially. We just added onto our house 4 years ago. It was my grandpa's house - I can't lose it. This is where I chose to call home - Thanks for reading - I so appreciate all of the help I've gotten thus far.
The other option he was given was to do a hair analysis. AH says he's taken percocet, percodan, loracet and said he did have some 10 mg of oxy's about 1.5 months ago. He said he would take them usually Thursday through Sunday at minimum levels and be sick/feel like crap Monday - Wednesday. His hair is short, but he fears that if he takes a hair test that the oxy might show up (from 1.5 months ago). I don't even know if they would test for percocet in a hair analysis.
This has really rocked AH to the core and he says he'll never be in this situation again. The fact that the use is now somewhat public and that he's endangering an entire families well being that it's just not worth it. I am not saying that I believe him, but at this point I want to do everything that I can (right or wrong) for him to keep his job. It affects myself and my two kids whether we're married or not. I am so humiliated by his actions and he is embarassed to even go out in public. I know that he deserves to be fired, but does anyone have any info or suggestions as to what to do?
They will NOT accept another urine test, they do not care that his creatinine levels have ALWAYS been low. He's thinking that they're trying to pin him for all of the family leave that he's taken in the last 6 months. I'm starting to think that too. He deserves this, I know. I'm being totally codependant, I know - but he makes VERY good money and has been @ this job for 19 years. I've never seen him this low. He's offered to take another blood or urine test - they refuse. He can get his family doc to verify that he did indeed have rx's for the drugs (or most) that he was taking, but the rx's were expired.
I am just a complete mess and am totally scrambling to help him figure SOMETHING out. He's still @ his moms and this most likely will be the end of us, but does anyone have ANY ideas?? His company does not have a union so they can do pretty much anything that they want.
Please don't tell me to step back and let him find his way. I've done this for the past week, but this is getting to be crunch time and he needs to figure SOMETHING out. Who is going to want to hire him after he's fired for drug use. He's even thought of calling a lawyer to see what he could do.
Does anyone know anything about a hair test - do they even test for percocet, lorocet, percodan? How long would 10 mg oxy last in a hair test? I'm not just fighting for him right now - I'm more trying to fight for very good insurance and very good child support. I will take any advice that I can. Again, I KNOW that he should be fired - but this will be devastating financially. We just added onto our house 4 years ago. It was my grandpa's house - I can't lose it. This is where I chose to call home - Thanks for reading - I so appreciate all of the help I've gotten thus far.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
