hello-kitty

My ex did rehab in prison the first time he was there. I don't think there is really anyway to tell whether they are going to stay clean when they get out until they actually get out. Even then it is a hard road because it's very easy to slip back into old ways of thinking... Good luck to your husband moms rainbow. I hope he's done. It's hard to watch people waste life. It's so precious.

Splendra. I'm sorry to hear about your brother. If it any consolation, and you probably know this. It doesn't seem like 20 years actually equals 20 years. My ex was supposed to be away for 10. Ended up serving 18 mos. I almost wish he would have done the whole 10 because now he is so much worse off then he was when he went in... 2 x's ago. Take care.

rayofsunshine

Hi Splendra, sorry about your brother. In NC the amount of time you get is what you serve, minus merit time they have to earn, but they can't get out before their minimum. How is it in your state?

Hi Moms. My AH did 3 rehabs before prison, the 1st was voluntary (after arrested, so he'd look good in court) the other two because of failed drug tests while on probation. After, he violated PO again with a failed drug test and they activated sentence, he
attended rehab in prison. Some people get it after 1 go around, some take longer, some never get it. The day my AH got out (back in Jan.) we went to the grocery store, saw a distant cousin of his working in the produce section, who had been in prison previously, and had been clean for over 5 years. We went to the auto parts store later that day, and saw a guy my AH went to school with, same story, had been in prison before, but had been clean for 5-6 years. I was full of hope that day. How amazing
it was we were running into success stories on his first day out. I really hope your AH gets it. I know what you mean about the visiting. I hated going there, and only went once a month, sometimes every 2 months. Sometimes, we have to do what feels right to US. I felt like it was my way of staying out of HP's way so he could work on AH without my help! Glad to hear you are doing ok!

Hello Kitty! You sound so positive for all you're going through. I know what you mean about wishing they'd serve the whole sentence. My AH did, except for the 9-months early parole program he got out on, but I always felt like the probation officers were much too lenient in the beginning, giving chance after chance after chance with failed drug tests before sending him to prison. I realize now it was my fault for putting up with his using, not theirs, but LOL... if they'd sent him away sooner, I wouldn't have suffered as much! I hope you and your son are doing OK!

splendra

My brother will do most of the 20 years if not all we are in NC. This will be his 3 felony in the state plus he has some pretty serious federal convictions under his belt. He is very nervous and I worry about him a lot these days. I heard him say that he would rather die than go back in again. He has spent almost 20 years in prison altogether as of right now.

rayofsunshine

That is a tough thing to deal with. Saying a little prayer for your brother and his court date Splendra. Just trust that his HP will take care of him. And (((HUGS))) to you.

splendra

I feel pretty guilty about my brother. I wish I could reach him. He is pretty far out there. I realize he needs to stop using and prison may help him with that if he can get thru the withdrawal. He is very strung out the worst I have ever seen him he looks at least 10 years older than me and he is my younger brother he is so thin too.

I went several months one time without seeing him and I did not recognize him when he came to my moms house. I cried all the way back home that day...

rayofsunshine

Splendra, try to think of prison as something that may save his life. If he's looks that terrible, the drugs are sure to be taking a toll on his insides as well. I know my AH was so bad the last few months before they activated his sentence, he says he knew he was close to death.... heart attack or stroke from the huge amount of drugs he was doing. What scares me now is what I've learned, how they can't just pick up and use a little. It doesn't take long to be right back as worse off as when they quit.

rayofsunshine

Dakota... hope you're doing ok today!

rayofsunshine

Hi Everybody.... Splendra.. has your brother had his courtdate yet?

Anyone new want to share their story? or give an update? Hope everybody is doing ok. Things are peaceful at the moment here.

hello-kitty

I'll give you an update. D is back in prison. I think I posted that here. I have been tempted to send a ltter or visit him but I've thought better of it. I just need to go no contact. If he sends a letter to his son I think that would be awesome. But most likely he won't becuase he's a selfish, self serving guy who is thinking about nothing but himself and how the world is out to get him while he is in prison. That makes me sad because my little boy would love to get a letter or something from his dad. But I am just staying out of it.

I am potty-training my son. He's doing great. He's very fascinated with penises and peeing right now. I had some friends over for dinner last night and the guy got up and went to the bathroom. When he came out of the bathroom, my son asked him where he went and my friend told him, I went pee. My son asked him if he stood up to pee. And my friend told him yes. My son then proceeded to tell my friend how his daddy "always used to pee standing up." That made me sad. He talked like his father was dead. I guess it's better if he thinks of him that way in the long run. BUT then, my son proceeded to ask my guest if he had a big peepee.

I didn't even know what to say.

rayofsunshine

Kids sure do say the darndest things, don't they? How cute.
Sending ((HUGS)) Kitty. You're gonna be ok. I know its hard,
but you will be.

sadness123

Hey everyone. I havent updated in awhile. My dad is getting June 4th still. Im going to meet in him somewhere when he gets out. So that will be fun. I dont have much to update about.

cmc

Hello sadness...it's nice to hear from you. I drop in here from time to time. I'm glad for you about your dad getting out and planning some time together with you.
take care!

rayofsunshine

Hi Sadness! Glad to hear your dad is getting out soon and that ya'll will get to do something together. Enjoy the time together. Hope you have been doing ok! We've missed you.
:ghug3

MsPINKAcres

so I broke down and called the correction facility to see if our daughter is truly incarcerated or not.

The lady verified that Ash is there - gave me her # if I want to write her. I still have the address from the last time.

So she has been in jail almost a month with no attempts to contact me. No letters, no calls thru Public Defender's ofc, no 3-way calls, no nothing.

She was out less than a month. Already back in. Probably will be in for a long, long time - since she had 3 yrs probation and didn't make it 30 days - I'm thinking she will given some serious time this go round.

Makes me so sad for her 3 children - they are 5 (almost 6), 3 and 9 months old.

I'm so tired of this F'ing disease. I apologize if the language offends anyone - just the only word that accurately describes how I feel at the moment.

No matter how you say it - incarcerated, in jail, prison, locked up, sent away, in a correctional institution, doing time, blah, blah, blah -

the words don't adequately describe the pain it can cause our family. We know it's not our fault - but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt.

Peace unto each of you
until tomorrow,
Rita

cmc

(((Rita))))

rayofsunshine

Sending Hugs and prayers, Rita. The pain IS indescribable. We know its not our fault, but the hard part for me is not being able to "fix" it.
:praying

hello-kitty

Hi Rita. I'm sorry. I hope you can take a little comfort in the fact that she is safer in jail than on the street and that maybe this will give her a little time to reconsider her life choices. My ex told me that he doesn't call because he's sobered up enough to be embarrassed about the choices he's made and he knows what I'm going to say anyway. It's nothing personal. It's hurtful. But she's not doing to you. She's not thinking about that. She's thinking about herself. God bless you Mom.

sadness123

My dad isnt getting out the fourth anymore. They think if he gets outthere he wont stay sober. He is most likey getting out September 11. So I will be in school and wont get to see him when he gets out. I hate this stupid thing. They just made it where I wont see him for longer. I have been waiting a long time to see him and now I dont even get to. I even made a countdown for June 4th. And now it is useless. I been waiting too long. I want to see my dad.

MsPINKAcres

((sadness))

hate so much that you won't see your Dad on the 4th. I know that must hurt really bad.

Big ole Mom hugs from me,

Rita

hello-kitty

sadness, it's really sad that your fathers irresponsible choices and decision have hurt you so badly. You must feel so hurt and angry sometimes and theres nothing any of us can do to help but listen. It's a lot for a young person to go through. What do you think? Do you think your father might use drugs again when he gets out? Maybe you can write him a letter and tell him how you feel about that.

((hugs)) keep sharing.