Sigh

How am I different...I had to think about this for a while....

I don't offer advice very often and never unless I'm specifically asked.
I lack the confidence I use to have in offering advice.
I find not-offering-advice restful.

Little things don't faze me.
Sometimes I listen to people at work talk on and on about some minor thing as if it were a volcano in their back yard about to blow. I don't 'get' why they are so upset.

I avoid stressful situations whenever possible. I realize that I'm about tapped out on stressful situations and now I'm willing to protect myself from them. I take better care of me.

Little things delight me.

I've remembered that I am an individual, not just a mom, an employee, a wife, a sister..etc. This is a change for me, I was so caught up in being things to other people I would have had a hard time trying to describe myself to someone without bringing up their names.

I spend time doing things I enjoy. First I had to remember or find things that I enjoyed that were not actually what others enjoyed doing and I supported.

I no longer feel responsible for others failures, or successes.

I spend more time outside.

I'm grateful for every morning, every raindrop, my puppies funny face and for how beautiful the world is. I know that sounds sappy, but I feel that way.

I spend more time in the moment because this moment is good, this moment is fine and come hell or high-water, I'm going to enjoy it.


hugs
sigh

Ann

Sigh, your light is sparkling brightly and I can relate to most of the changes you show.

I no longer live on the edge and adrenaline rushes are a thing of the past.

My excitement and joy comes from simple things, like for you, like sunrises or nature or a cat who sleeps on my head.

So many gifts, this program and change bring to each of us, a heart filled with gratitude is one of them.

Hugs

BigSis

I allowed my God to come down from the sky and start walking beside me.


I looked for the godincidences.
I look for the "similarities".
I threw away a bunch of rules, and accepted some "suggestions".
I discovered I am not particularly "unique"... but I am special and loved and worthy of love.
I stopped taking credit for all life's successes.... and consequently, all life's pain.
I discovered it is ok to redirect my focus. The world didn't end.

I know today I can love an alcoholic who is not sober, without that love being dependent upon "eventual" sobriety. I can just love him ... as he is.

I gave up the idea that loving meant I had to tolerate chaos and accept unacceptable behavior. Today, I know these negative things are a result of the condition of addiction, rather than the bad character of my loved one.

Today, I am free from the unbearable burden of my problems... your problems... the pain at home... the pain at the office.. the pain of society. I choose to be responsible for me and my stuff... and allow you the dignity to attend to your affairs.

I believe my signature line. More so, every day.

Ann

Another Amen, BigSis, very well said.

Hugs

sobercuse

What an uplifting posts this is....thanks Ann and thanks to all of you for sharing.

The Big Book of AA says,

"Happiness is doing what you're suppose to be doing and wanting to do it."

"Willingness is the Key.".......

Those are my gems of recovery....my lifeline.

Ann

Willingness came easy to me, Sobercuse, because nothing I was doing had worked, and I began with blind faith that whatever "those" other people in my meeting had was available to me ...if I was willing.

Hugs

Wascally Wabbit

I needed this today. I have been depressed and anxiety ridden over my xalcoholic mother. She's so sick and I just can't begin to tell you how I wish she'd stop the guilt trips. I like the new way of trying to understand what darkness is inside her. Perhaps I will never know.

greeteachday

With recovery I....

Remind myself if I start to feel a resentment that I have given a person permission to use me or manipulate or anger me...so by changing that behavior, I am the solution, not the problem.

Think about what I am grateful for as my first thoughts each morning...It's become a habit and it feels good to realize that it is

Consider God one of my closest friends

No longer feel the need to explain to someone in great and painful detail why his or her actions were hurtful or "wrong" (I was trying to control what wasn't mine and I thought if people could just think like I think they wouldn't do such things.)

Find my most precious moments are with the most simple things...a beautiful sunrise or sunset, the leaves changing, a moving passage in a book, hearing a little one's laughter...sharing laughter with someone I love.

No longer fear the future...I truly believe that I can focus on each day and live in the posiitve and what will be will be for a reason.

I still work hard on his will not mine...it is easier in some scenarios than others. But I know my thinking is so different than it was just a year and a half ago.

With recovery I really do like me a lot more than I ever did...And I like the world a whole lot more too.

Terrific thread, thank you Ann!

Ann

These replies give me such a lift and even more faith in recovery and this program.

If you are a newcomer and reading these, I think it is important to know that there is a reason this is a "WE" program, because not one of us got to the better place we are in today by ourselves. Through the support of each other, we find comfort and relief that we are not alone and through the guidance of those who went before us we find that tiny ray of Hope that leads us to faith, even blind faith, that we can have what others have found by working the steps and this program one baby step at a time.

I remember a time, only a couple of years ago when I had a fair bit of recovery under my belt, that I fell into a very dark place again, a place of pain so deep that I was not sure it would ever go away. It was a lonely place and scary, and so very dark and yet somehow the light of others shone through just enough for me to not give up and to continue to reach out to those who extended the hands of recovery to me. When I lost my light, others shared theirs until I could find mine again...and I did...just as those who went before me promised I would.

Recovery does not promise that we will never have these dark times, nor does it promise that we will never find obstacles in our path. What recovery promises is that together we can do what we cannot do alone and that by using the tools we have learned, we survive. Recovery taught me to live in the solution, not in the problem, and that has made all the difference.

Today I am so very grateful that many years ago, when I went to my first meeting as a sobbing neurotic sick lady, one person came up to me and gave me a hug and told me that I would be okay. That person became my sponsor and gently led me through the steps that saved my life. I truly owe her my life, the life I know today of beauty and happiness and sunshine.

Hugs

CatsPajamas

My first time around in Al Anon, I wasn't ready... or perhaps I just wasn't willing to surrender. I went to the meetings and I listened, but I didn't get a sponsor and I didn't work the steps. And I got back what I put into it - not much.

BUT, the seed was planted. The next time, the one where I crawled into a meeting and cried for a month - at least I knew where to go... and I understood what I needed to do. The choice was mine, and recovery was there for the taking.

Today:
I am no longer living in fear.
I actually like being around me.
I know what I like and what I don't like
I (mostly) mind my own business
I laugh more
I trust that my HP will give me what I need, and will do the same for my loved ones

I am eternally grateful for this program, and for the wonderful people I have in my life as a result of it. I am also grateful to my qualifiers - those people whose behaviors and choices made it necessary for me to find help.

Great thread Ann, as always.

HUGS
Cats

Jwife22

Amen....that light has saved my sanity more than a few times.....

Absolutely.

Ann you are such a wise lady...I am so blessed to be able to walk beside you in my journey.