faithfully

My addict went into the hospital after I left him a month ago. I drove across country to get away. I was in hell with crack pipes everywhere in the house he wouldn't stop wouldn't let me say no to the money....fits of anger...terror and fear for months till I got away. Calling me calling me to send him money...ashamed because I wrecked his life...He has been in the hospital, once with flesh eating disease and now again with infected wounds and sores from the surgery...I sent him money he got welfare check and still ended up on the streets, He says all he did was drink when they let him out of the hospital. I stil can't move on. I worry non stop. Do I fly back across the country? I'm a mess, constantly think about him worry worry worry and he is sick sick sick in the hospital. Is he going to die? They cut him off morphine today when they found out he was on methadone everyone says I should change my number but I can't let him be alone and sick in the hospital. No one else he talks to but me 3000 miles away. I don't know the nurse says he'll get better and for me not to stress but when I talk to him I stress stress stress and wonder if he'll make it. He has infected wounds wonder if it's gangreen. They are pumping him and putting silver bandages on him feeding him strong antibiotics then he got mrsa and still nurse says he'll be OK he doesn't want me calling nurses he says the doctors are terrible it's a terrible hospital. WORRY WORRY WORRY and I think SHOOT ME SHOOT I am truly lost. Went to a meeting today only one other woman there..nice but it didn't help DID NOT HELP!:uzi2:

pjbs55

Faithfully,
If the meeting did not help, find another one right away. You need support. Listen to the nurse, she knows more than your son. He is trying to CONTROL YOU and get his way. I also am a mother of an addict and know how hard this is for you. You have to take care of YOU,the stress can cause all kinds of damage to your system. It will make you sick and who will be there to take care of you? Not your son, he is only worried about him. Sorry if I sound harsh and uncaring, but it took me a long time to work on me. The stress caused me all kinds of problems, some of them I am still dealing with. If you have a hard time talking to your son, than don't . Talk to his doctor or nurses, and only speak to him when YOU want to. I know the feeling of missing your son, I miss mine everyday of my life, but know he is in good hands, his Higher Powers.
Take it one minute at a time, take deep breaths, and try to relax alittle. Easier said than done, I know. Turn this over to your Higher Power (HP) and ask him to guide you to do the right thing. Right now I think the right thing for you is to do nothing unless you hear from the doctor or nurse that your son is worse.
Hugs coming to you from another mom