wayconfused

Well a little while back I asked for advice on my AH law troubles. I didn't call and say anything. But he did get a court date in the mail. We went yesterday. Anyway, they put it off. (and its still just his second) But, they found warrents out for his arrest.. And the judge told him to go over to the jail and get them taken care of then. Well he didnt.. So I dont know whats going to happen there. Either way, I still ponder at what is best for me.. He is still taking pills daily. He is taking less. .. And he is spending money we dont have t obuy them .I have heard him tell people he will give them 4 bucks a peice for them ...That adds up real fast when you take a min. of 7 a day. I hate it.. Some things he does is so embarrissing to me and our kids. He doesnt even care. I know I need to stay on my three C's..
Thanks for letting me vent.

cece1960

Hi Way,
I'm sorry...sounds like nothing has changed, except perhaps for the fact tthat things are beginning to catch up with him.
I'm not sure I understand what you are pondering.
I see nothing in your post that even hints at something thats "best" for you.
The three C's are great...but remember that it adresses the addict...the one thing you CAN change is you.
(((Hugs)))
Cece

parentrecovers

let go, step out of the chaos, and let him face the consequences on his own. take care of you, and lead by good example.

blessings, k

BigSis

Generally, addiction is a progressive condition. What you have today is better than what you will have a year, or five years from now.

At some point, you will have to decide how YOU want to live, and what sort of life you want for YOUR family... no matter what he chooses.

Alanon meetings help me very much.

(((hugs)))

hope213

i am sorry you are feeling so bad.things are not going to get any better for your addict as long as he is active in his drug use.put the focus on what you & your kids need & hands off the addict.there is nothing you an do for him . you can take care of you.prayers for you, him & your children.

krhea75

Walk away for the sake of those kids. Be strong.
krhea

greeteachday

I hope you will keep reading and posting and try some Alanon or Naranon meetings to help you get to the point where you decide what is right for you and the kids. Hugs and prayers.

Lobo

Way, It sounds like eventually th legal system is going to catch up with him for not doing what he is supposed to be doing and he will end up in jail. Then he will be off of the pills and thinking with a clearer head. He will need you then......be prepared as to whether you would want to stay in that type of relationship or not. I assure you it is not a good place to be. Given the choice to get out......I say move on with your life without him.

wayconfused

Thanks to all ,,its been a really bad weekend.. And I am trying to stay strong..This baord as helped me so much.. I just dont know where to get my strength from anymore.. I answered our phone this sat. and a stupid guy asked me about meth... I freaked out on him... I hate that stuff. And I hate the fact that he has given our phone number out for that kind of stuff. I have never been in trouble and I dont want to be and any where that stuff is at is trouble...
If anyone knows where any meetings are around D\Fw texas please let me know..
All I have found are N\a and aa meetings.
Hugs to all and thanks again for listening...

Jwife22

Heres a list of Texas Naranon meetings....

http://nar-anon.org/texas.htm

and if none of these are local to you.....try Alanon....any meeting is better than NO meeting....

http://www.texas-al-anon.org/meetings.htm

caileesnana

Hi,
I live in the dallas area and know there are many, many meetings in the area. From AA, NA, Celebrate Recovery and Overcomers. If you need help finding one, let me know.

Prayers,
susan

P.S. If anyone reports what's going on to CPS, you could loose the kids for what he is doing. If others are calling the house for drugs, it is bad. Innocent people, including kids, are kidnapped and killed due to drug deals gone bad!!!

wayconfused

cailee, i know I worry about that. I try to keep my kids from seeing things. Like that. but, they do see it. my kids are 15, 16,and 19. so they know what he is doing. Its sad when they was younger I \ he could keep them from it. (our at least I thought I was) but, now he doesnt even try. I just know the time is past due for me to makes some changes. I just really dont know where to start anymore. And I cant stop feeling guilty.. I ask my self everyday why do I love someone that does like he does.. And seems to only love himself.
Thanks fo rall the help keep it coming. cause the pain I feel now only makes me stronger...

caileesnana

He does only love himself and the drugs, right now. He doesn't care about the kids or you when he is using. You are all in danger, and you bet at their ages they know a whole lot more than you think! When they start using, or letting someone ruin their lives, they will turn it on you! Now is a time to stand up, put you and the kids first, and show them what a strong parent does. As someone else said, lead by example. Kids always come first. You can find another man/mate, your kids are just that, your kids to love and cherish and take care of, part of you!

prayers,
susan

wayconfused

i agree and I am looking for a place to move to...You are so right cailee.. I just know life has to be better then this.. And one day I will see that. I just have to keep telling myself first off my kids deserve better and so do I.. It was like a slap in the face over the weekend my daughter said mom why do you stay you know he isnt going to change. Thats when I really knew they had seen it for longer then I thought.. I am going to keep reading here. Cause it does help. And have looked on that links I was sent. I am going to try to find a meeting to go to.. I know thats the next step in my recovery..

caileesnana

Out of the mouth of babes!

They know, and depend on you to show them the way out, to be an adult, responsiblity. The kind of person you want them to be. IMO, time to step up to the plate and start swinging!

wayconfused

well i went last night and looked at a couple of houses for rent.. I am going to try and keep faith that I can get on the right path and stay there. I know I have to do something fast. I have a plan if I can just stick to it. I am going to rent a house until we can sell ours. (he will not give it to me or stay there). Then I will find me another place to buy. I know its going to hurt and be hard. But, I keep thinking how much harder can it be.. Last night if I wouldnt have came home when I did our house would have probably burnt down. He passed out on the couch while cooking. the stuff wsa burning in the pan. the burner was sparking. And the house was filled with smoke. then he looks at me like I am crazy when I grip...
I hate drugs. I have to keep thinking about the bad things cause if I dont I let guilt and felling sorry for him take over. And I have done that for to long now..
as cail said its time for me to step up and start swinging for my kids, grandkid, and myself..
Thanks everyone for letting me vent...

caileesnana

glad you are starting to work your plan. YOu and your kids are in my prayers,
susan

parentrecovers

so glad that you are looking for that place, way. i came home once to the house almost on fire too - that is too much to live with. your safety is more important..

blessings, k