need soem advice :( (new here)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: somewhere, some state
Posts: 48
need soem advice :( (new here)
Hi everyone. I've posted on the friends and family of alcoholics boards before, but I've just started reading these threads.
Before, I needed advice on my former abf....now I find out my brother has to go to rehab for meth and crack use. I don't know what to feel.
After three years of ups and downs from my abf's alcoholism, I felt so free when I broke up with him. Now the same crushing feelings are coming back. I can't believe that my brother is an addict....I was so mad when I found out I couldn't speak to him.
I've talked to my mom about this, and she said that I put up and supported my ex bf for a long time, why can't I do the same for my own brother?
I don't know if I can. I feel betrayed...how can addiction come back into my life?
I just want to smack some sense into my brother's head with a large bat.
Before, I needed advice on my former abf....now I find out my brother has to go to rehab for meth and crack use. I don't know what to feel.
After three years of ups and downs from my abf's alcoholism, I felt so free when I broke up with him. Now the same crushing feelings are coming back. I can't believe that my brother is an addict....I was so mad when I found out I couldn't speak to him.
I've talked to my mom about this, and she said that I put up and supported my ex bf for a long time, why can't I do the same for my own brother?
I don't know if I can. I feel betrayed...how can addiction come back into my life?
I just want to smack some sense into my brother's head with a large bat.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
QUOTE:"I just want to smack some sense into my brother's head with a large bat."
If that would work we would all be sluggers. If your bro is willing to go to rehab for this disease of the mind, body + soul perhaps you can find it in you to be compassionate and supportive of the recovery process. Your boudaries can shift as they shift toward the recovery process. It is a family disease as evidenced by you being attracte to an addict. Are you in some type of recovery group or counseling to see your own side of the street??? Sorry that you have to suffer loving an addict, but there just may be some growth in there for you if you take a look at what you can change, yourself. Welcome back.
If that would work we would all be sluggers. If your bro is willing to go to rehab for this disease of the mind, body + soul perhaps you can find it in you to be compassionate and supportive of the recovery process. Your boudaries can shift as they shift toward the recovery process. It is a family disease as evidenced by you being attracte to an addict. Are you in some type of recovery group or counseling to see your own side of the street??? Sorry that you have to suffer loving an addict, but there just may be some growth in there for you if you take a look at what you can change, yourself. Welcome back.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome to our board... sorry you have to be here...i wish smacking them in the head would do them good but it want. i do not go to the alcoholic board.i feel as if it is the same as this.you know the 3c's..you did not CAUSE it, you cannot CONTROL it, you can not CURE it.the only help you can give your brother is by working your recovery.try to get your mom to a f.t.f. meeting.get her to read this board & all the stickys at the top of the forum"what addicts do".my son is the addict in my life,crack also & i almost lost my sanity till i got in to recovery. it is hard to let go of anyone you love, but that is what you have to do.let go,let God or be dragged. my son started drinking at 17, by the time he was 23 he was a crack addict & serving his first term in prison. he is still using & has been more in prison than out (all due to drugs).he is now 36yrs.old. some addicts never get clean as sad as it is. i will say a prayer for your brother,you & your mom.it is a long hard road with an addict.keep posting & let us know how you are.hugs,hope
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Hi Cuttlefish,
Dealing with family can bring about a unique set of problems in that we have to really learn to detach and support from a distance. Its not as easy to "end" the relationship.
Its tough, and I'm still not a pro, but you can learn to love and support him, without allowing yourself to be enmeshed, again, in an addicts world.
Let your Mom know you love him and support him...but maybe from a distance this time. Its just not fair to drag you back down that road.
And try giving it up to your HP and his...I can only speak for me but my HP has things under much better control than I ever did
Stick around, we're glad to have you
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Dealing with family can bring about a unique set of problems in that we have to really learn to detach and support from a distance. Its not as easy to "end" the relationship.
Its tough, and I'm still not a pro, but you can learn to love and support him, without allowing yourself to be enmeshed, again, in an addicts world.
Let your Mom know you love him and support him...but maybe from a distance this time. Its just not fair to drag you back down that road.
And try giving it up to your HP and his...I can only speak for me but my HP has things under much better control than I ever did
Stick around, we're glad to have you
(((Hugs)))
Cece
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