Noah812

Oh ok, just a quick edit and....what ever do you mean honey?

Lovestoomuch

smooth Noah...........jackbutt LOL
but not smooth enough. I highlighted your original post haaaaaaahaaaaa

Noah812

Oh that is wrong....ok now you edit your post and its all good...can you believe it, another meeting in 5 minutes...been in them all day...oh well its only 30 minutes

Lovestoomuch

Sigh.............I'm just good like that I guess.
Have a nice meeting lol. Know how much you love them.

kj0975

Teke could use some prayers I posted a thread about whats going on about her.

laketime

where can i find the post i dont know whats going on with teke

kj0975

On the main page of this forum.

kj0975

Alright I feel bad posting this with everything going on with Teke but I have had it with my niece. I get an e-mail back from the dad and he said Alyssa didnt have permission to stay the night at the house and he asked her if anyone knew she was walking the streets at 10pm at night and she said yes she had permission. YEAH RIGHT! So I was livid I went to her house and told her to tell me the truth and she still lied. Thats what ticked me off. I know I pulled some crap when I was a kid but the lying to my face I couldnt handle. Then she said that the mom gave her permission and the dad didnt know. So then I talk to the mom and she said she wasnt allowed to spend the night last night and my niece knew that. So she still was lying and was calling everyone else a liar. 2 adults that didnt know I spoke to the other one same story and their lying. So I had her pack her things and she was coming to my house. No more crap!!! Well right now she hates me. So she calls my dad who said its ok to stay there. I'm getting fed up with these kids everytime they dont get their own way they call someone else and they get it. Boy are they in for one hell of a lesson cause its stops here and now. I've had it and so has everyone else!!! Now from parents I need advice what do I do now?

liesagain

I agree with .anvil
IN or OUT

and talking to your dad seems like a good idea too.......
sorry I dont know your whole story.........so do you have custody of the neice?
If so tell her, NO and tell your dad.no she will not leave and if she does leave you will call police she will be a runaway........

good luck teenagers are so difficult sometimes

cinderellawkids

Since we are talking about parenting advice, I need some. My 9 year old is .... I dont even know. Its starting with being mean and over controlling with his brothers, screaming ect, now grabbing something from thema nd breaking it. He came home from summer daycare a few days ago talking about kids having sex, whcih I explained to him was improper, he wasnt even old enpugh to date, that night I caught him making out wiltha pillow, (practicing) Today in the car he told his brother if so and so talked to me like that Id punch him in the mouth...I got on to him, Ive never even allowed tehm to watch sstuff that talks like that, I made it clear that these behaviors dont belong in our home.
A little while ago he grabbed a ring his brother had and broke it and laughed, I sent him to his room. I caught him witha bag of clothes sneaking out the front door, I sent him back to his room. He wrote me a note had his brother bring it to me saying He was running away, hed rather live on the streets and he never wants to see me again...
What the heck do I do, Im emotionally tapped

cinderellawkids

Im making another breakfast diner Kj, hope youve remembered one too, they are easy and scrumptious, besides someone said Rats like scrambled eggs...

cinderellawkids

Ive been speaking to him, I dont know what to do anymore. He doesnt want Dad here, or maybe he does he just doesnt want the drama. Hes calmed down now and is on templeton stakeout. Whats with other 9 year olds talking about sex, and alcohol? I dont get it.

cinderellawkids

I tried that Palm, he said nothings wrong he just wants to be left alone.
I ran away once and noone noticed, I got tired of waiting and returned home (about his age) I remember thinking that was proof noone cared, so I just told him no, he couldnt run away he had to stay and I loved him.

This kid has been extra sensitive from day one, ADHD, child migraine suffered ect. At 3 he told me he had no friends and everyone hated him, I talked to teachers to find he was the most popular kid there, Maybe it stems from his biological dad being in prison all these years (since he was 3), I just dont know what else to do, Ive sent him to counseling and they say hes fine, coaches at summer camp also say hes the life of the day, I just dont get it, scarily he reminds me of the way AH hides everything

cinderellawkids

Could low self esteem be hereditary or inborn?
By the way he gets more attention from me than my other two and the more he gets the more he wants

liesagain

it is scary when we see traits that are similar to the A............
I think my only real thought or idea was.........that he needs to be able and encouraged no to shut of his emotions.................maybe talking isnt his thing now.maybe you could find other ways to encourage his expression of his feelings........( I think so many/to many guys think theres something wrong wirh having feelins..........)
cinder..............maybe you could get him a journal type book and tell him everyone gets sad, mad and angry and even if he doesnt want to talk about those things now he can write it down........noone will look and later when hes all grown up he can look at it again.............

i

cinderellawkids

Thanks Palm.
Both my father and mother were diagnosed as manic and suicidal, Im bipolar2 and have extreme anxiety.
Darius has always acted how I described above, it just seems to be peaking lately and now followed by anger and trying to control. Tonite hes mad cause we didnt go somewhere we were gonna cause little man has a fever.

Ill keep working with him

cinderellawkids

Lies thats an excellent thought, as a matter of fact he wrote me notes tonite when he was mad.

liesagain

good.....maybe its can be a starting place and eventually he could want you to read it................because even us grown children......thou we say we dont ....we really do want people to know how we feel to try to understand...............

good luck,
I have to get moving I just got paged to work...............

raerae6

Hi Cinder...I don't have kids, but my mom did daycare...but I'm not qualified to give advice....so I'm not trying to act like any kind of an expert here!
I took a class in "working with youth" and they had this thing called the "mistaken goal chart"..it's online if you google it. But I couldn't find the version that was on our handout...
So according to that...this is what it says about your son's behavior...

His goal is:
Revenge
(to get even)

He wants:
justice.

The child is feeling:
Hurt.
Disappointed .
Disbelieving.
Disgusted .
Insignificant.
Worthless.
I don’t think I belong so I’ll make others hurt like I do.
I can’t be liked or loved.
Help me - I’m hurting.

Child’s behavior is to:
(active)
Retaliate.
Hurt others.
Damage property .
Get even .
Say hurtful things.
Being rude.
Escalate the behavior or choose another weapon.
(passive)
staring hurtfully.
Negative attitude toward life.


What the adult can do to encourage positive behavior:
Deal with the hurt feelings: “Your behavior tells me you must feel hurt. Can we talk about it?” Use reflective listening. Don’t take behavior personally. Share your feelings. Apologize. Avoid punishment and retaliation. Show you care. Encourage individual assets and strengths. Use family/class meetings.

They had this other interesting thing which was the "circle of courage". It consists of four things that everyone needs to feel right with the world-to have self esteem. It is focused on kids, but it seems to apply to anyone. I apply it to myself. They are belonging, mastery, generousity, and independence. I think it is really interesting.

http://maxweber.hunter.cuny.edu/pub/...OfCourage.html

Like I said, I don't have kids and am therefore not qualified to offer suggestions, just thought I would offer it up...

tropikgal2

Another good CD alert: Amy Winehouse--Back to Black. What a GREAT album!! OK, so the hit song "Rehab" doesn't resonate so well with some here on the forum, but the rest of the songs are great! Think Phil's Spector's Wall of Sound..the Shangri-La's, the Ronettes, Dinah Washington....etc. Just soulful and awesome.