teke

i'll just say that i agree with jewelz, i'm one of the ones that just don't get it as quick as some of the others, and i've always had a problem with not wanting to worry others with my issues, especially the ones that i have a hard time getting, and if i just don't get it then i can't do it. i hear it but for some reason if its not soaking in than i may need to hear it again and again and i don't want to appear to not be tring to get better or that i am just not willing to do what it takes or that i don't pay attention. sometimes it helps me to have someone to just talk it out with who i don't have to feel whinney with.

getting there

I just wanted to say I appreciate the truth. I appreciate the responses. I haven't heard the truth for a very long time. I don't want anyone to candy coat their feelings. I have read most of the posts and have found it is nothing but positive. The support here for each other is so tremendous and loving. Thank you so very much

Live

Teach,

Thank you for this post. I have read it yesterday and today.

love,
Tena

marteen

Great post, Teach!

Sometimes I want and need to hear the truth and other times, I come here so I don't hear all the truth! My posting here is many times tied to the way I feel at the time.

As a mod, I try to make sure that others are respectful of those to whom they post. A person can be honest and truthful in a respectful way. But there are some who can't handle a harsh truth or reality. And sometimes they can get hurt from what others post to them.

I think we all suffer from the lack of "trust" and from being so hurt deep inside that we sometimes just need a place that we can "share" without hearing any harshness. But the more we spend on this site, the more we learn that the other person, the one replying to us is also coming from the same place.

I think we all have that "secret", inner place that we don't share with anyone, except maybe our HP. Nothing wrong with that; sometimes we just need it.

Love & hugs,
marteen

Ann

Something that my sponsor taught me was that if I wanted to truly work my recovery, I should be willing to "expose" myself, to let people see who I am and to share as often on days that I struggle as I do on days when my life is good. She thought it was good for the newcomer to see that oldtimers struggle sometimes too and that recovery is a process where we keep learning as we go, a journey rather than a destination.

So I do, and I have always found wonderful support here when I have shared my bad days or my scared days or my sad days. The support and love I have found here is second to none and has allowed me to grow stronger in my recovery and I am grateful.

We're a very large group here, all at different places in our recovery and from all walks of life. That means that we are in many different places emotionally as well. Yet we learn from each other. The newcomer learns from someone who has been where they are and the oldtimer keeps learning from the newcomer. We are not here to judge, although there will be some who do and I have probably been guilty myself on occasion and usually regret it or try to make amends, and we are not here to tell anyone what they must do or how to do it, although we can share what worked for us.

Some days we will want to support everyone and other days we come on looking for support for ourselves.

What is most important is that just like any family, we may have our differences but we walk together and help each other along. The bonds that hold us together are stronger than the differences that drive us apart. That's what the fellowship of recovery is all about.

I'm very proud of the group here, of those who have moved on to other things and I know I will be proud of those who walk through the door because of the respect we have for each other, in spite of our differences and of the courage and strength it takes for any one of us to share our souls.

I'm grateful every day that you all are here, and I know I would never be in the good place I am today without each one of you walking beside me.

Hugs

marle

Ann, You said what is one of my fears. Sharing my bad days with the newcomers. And even with the experienced ones. I feel that I can't show my weaknesses even though I still have my bad days. I feel like I shouldn't have those days. Thanks for saying what I couldn't. Hugs, Marle

dollydo

Ah yes, Ann, my twinnie , side by side, hand in hand, trudging up that big mountain together, seeking the wisdom and strength to make it over the top, that is what we all are striving for, that one moment in time, to say "We made it".

I too, am grateful for every day we can share "Our Words".

duet_4-8

I don't have much to add here, just want to say that I honestly believe that finding SR was a true miracle in my life and that God led me here at a time when I didn't know which way to turn; I was honestly at the end of a very short rope.

It was because of the acceptance and warmth I found here that I was able to open up and share a lot of things that I had been too ashamed to tell anyone. I learned that I really wasn't crazy and that my feelings do matter. I learned that it is a good thing to take care of myself and I learned how to give my ex his diginity back by letting him own his stuff.

Sometimes several days will go by and I don't really respond to anyone, but I am here at least once or twice a day reading and learning. I really do feel like you guys are family and I want to say thanks to all of you and I love you!

cinderellawkids

Thought this could use a bump, due to lots of info discussed here seems to ahve been forgotten the last few days by some.

Its sad that sometimes threads can get as toxic as the relationships we share with our addicts

Nitelite

It reminds me of those last words during an al-anon meeting, "Though you may not like all of us, you will come to love us in a very special way..."
& I do. Prayers to all ~ Nitelite

bookmiser

Just wanted to say...

I love you all.
This is a good thread, Teach.
Haven't read all the responses yet, but thanks everyone for getting your feelings out.
I, for one, am so glad that I can come here and get the "truth".
I need to hear it. Whatever it may be.
Now, it's up to me on whether I use it or not. That's the whole point of asking for advice. Getting the truth and the esp of others. Taking what I need from it, and leaving the rest for someone else. lol
I tell it like it is. To me, this place is a "no holds barred" and for that I am grateful.
So, everyone, give it to me straight...should I have my hair colored purple with grey streaks, or red with yellow streaks?

lightseeker

Personally, I like the purple with grey. Have you thought of incorporating a little green as well. That's always so fetchin!

Donna

cinderellawkids

I kinda like the yellow too

Wolfstarr

Historyteach this is a great thread. Like liveweyered I have been reading this thread and there is much said here.

Thanks so much for this. I sometimes feel like a victim when really I have just victmized myself. When I open up and say what I feel, I fear retribution, criticism and possible abandonment.

What it is I fear the most is the facing the reality that is "me".

I realize that there will always be someone, somewhere who doesn't give two hoots about me and that's just it. Whether I am accepted or not, the single most important thing I can do is accept myself.

I needed to see this today. Thank you, Teach, and everyone else who contributed their feelings here.