Back from vacation...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 528
Back from vacation...
The kids and I went out of town a week ago (left last friday). I took them to see their dad. It was a LONG drive but we had a good time. I was BORED but a good bored. While I was there I wondered why I felt so bored. I realized why, it's because I didn't feel tense or any stress. The kids had TWO people present to them.....they were like different little people and I was a different mom. I wasn't consumed with thoughts of AH, etc. Yet, I found myself feeling bored.....I realized, bored can be a good thing.
Ah called quite a bit. I wouldn't answer. I'd listen to the message and decide when I was ready if it deserved a returned call. Over the weekend, he called drunk at 2 AM!!! Needless to say, I did NOT answer that call. It did annoy me and I wanted to say something about it. But I thought about ASpouse telling someone once not to acknowledge it, it's a game. So, that's what I did, I didn't even acknowledge it. He didn't mention it either, LOL. I suppose he wasn't going to say, "didn't you get my drunk message."
But, now it's back to reality. I feel tense again. AH is really laying it all on pretty thick these days and my defenses are flaring.....as if I'm just ready for a fight or something.....very strange.
Hope all is well around here! I missed you guys.
Ah called quite a bit. I wouldn't answer. I'd listen to the message and decide when I was ready if it deserved a returned call. Over the weekend, he called drunk at 2 AM!!! Needless to say, I did NOT answer that call. It did annoy me and I wanted to say something about it. But I thought about ASpouse telling someone once not to acknowledge it, it's a game. So, that's what I did, I didn't even acknowledge it. He didn't mention it either, LOL. I suppose he wasn't going to say, "didn't you get my drunk message."
But, now it's back to reality. I feel tense again. AH is really laying it all on pretty thick these days and my defenses are flaring.....as if I'm just ready for a fight or something.....very strange.
Hope all is well around here! I missed you guys.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Yep, boredom. Maybe its the lack of drama? I like boredom..really like it. Its good to be able to have nothing to do, nothing to stress about and cause myself to worry about!
Its all in your mindset.. you may not have the time to be bored at home, but if you keep your mindset in drama free mode it helps!
So glad you had fun
Its all in your mindset.. you may not have the time to be bored at home, but if you keep your mindset in drama free mode it helps!
So glad you had fun
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
Missed you two Sunshine and glad to hear our trip was good. "Boredom" is good. I guess being content with no stress is a strange feeling that becomes foreign to some of us at times. We forget what peace can feel like! Hope things continue to go well for you now you are back at home. It will probably get stranger and stranger, but you will be fine. Welcome back .
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
After the drama was removed from my life it felt like boredom too...
I really felt like I was missing something. Very strange to explain.
Now that I am comfortable with this healthy way of living I
can't imagine ever having that chaos back in my life.
Knowing what to expect when I walk in the door of my home
is such a welcoming feeling.....
I really felt like I was missing something. Very strange to explain.
Now that I am comfortable with this healthy way of living I
can't imagine ever having that chaos back in my life.
Knowing what to expect when I walk in the door of my home
is such a welcoming feeling.....
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
Sunshine...So glad to see you back. Missed ya,
Boredom, I agree with Jazzman, takes time. I joke and say, "We were addicted to chaos" Have to work on recovery from our addiction.
Thats why, when we get rid of one, we go find another. ( Thats one's that don't get to a program or here etc. ) SMILE
Boredom, I agree with Jazzman, takes time. I joke and say, "We were addicted to chaos" Have to work on recovery from our addiction.
Thats why, when we get rid of one, we go find another. ( Thats one's that don't get to a program or here etc. ) SMILE
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
Was it bordom or simple peace? I think this time away has revealed how groomed you have become. Without that layer of tension, you can't feel comfortable in your own skin. I think it reflects just how little of your own life is about you because when left to yourself, you feel bored. Maybe this will be an awakening for you as you return.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 528
thanks everyone! I did have a good time and was taken by surprise at the fact that I felt bored. I knew it was because I hadn't had peace in so long, I didn't know what it was, it felt like bordem but I'm sure it was serenity (thanks jazzman, now I have a new name for my bordem). It was a good thing and made me realize just how not normal my life has become. All the silence was strange. My mind wasn't preoccupied therefore, the kids didn't get on my nerves, etc. That sounds terrible but a lot of my stress builds when the kids are arguing or just doing kids things. I realize it's because I always have other things going on and too much at once would overload anyone.
It made me realize I have lots of work left to do.
It made me realize I have lots of work left to do.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
I think it reflects just how little of your own life is about you because when left to yourself, you feel bored.
glad you enjoyed your trip sunshine.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Originally Posted by sunshine003
thanks jazzman, now I have a new name for my bordem..
And Minx brought up the serenity point and boy can I relate. July of 2004 my oldest went off to college out of state, M lost her children to her ex in a custody non-battle, (they're better w/ him anyway. He threatened court and she caved just like that *snap*) and my youngest son is here every other day. This house went from controlled chaos to peace & quiet overnight. Five kids full time down to one part time and M moved out all in one month, poof! Took a while to adjust to it but it was like the drama left and serenity came in. Out with the bad air, in with the good air.
What a relief! I could never go back there!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 528
wow jazz, that musta been a total shock!!! YIKES! I have four full time kids (my own) and here, with my AH, it is controlled chaos. I forgot what it felt like to have two parents present until this past week. It was such a load off my shoulders not having to do everything for everyone. All the time I had and I didn't know what to do with it.
Now that I'm back home, the chaos is slowly starting to creep back in....I can feel it and see the difference in the kids. I truly feel as if I'm standing on the outside looking in and slowly seeing how toxic it is here.
Now that I'm back home, the chaos is slowly starting to creep back in....I can feel it and see the difference in the kids. I truly feel as if I'm standing on the outside looking in and slowly seeing how toxic it is here.
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