CarolD

Hugs My prayers for your peace.

sadface

I also have gone through what you are going through today. It hurts and that is normal. If you are buying, don't leave the house. The ho has enough nerve to come to your place so nothing will stop her from moving in. Also, you are married to this man so it is normal to trust and believe him. Confront him if you must but don't feel you have to make a decision today. Give yourself time to decide what you want to do. Only you can make the decision and nobody can judge you for what you decide. I hope this was good advice. Cry and get it out. We are all here for you. My prayers are with you.

rivercitybelle

Sometimes fate has it's own time schedule rather than going along with ours.
My heart goes out to you but as so many others have said, I can only tell you for me it did get easier with time but it still was hard.

minnie

Oh, TG. My heart goes out to you, sweetie.

I too feel that he should be the one to go, but I do understand that need to get away and be with your family. My parents are my touchstone. Can you go for a little while and come back for the 28th? I hope your boss would understand why you would have to do that.

goffredo

I am sorry TG. I agree with dome of the posts here: he's the one who should go. Take your time now to absorbe the news. I am sorry to be so extreme but I think that when someone is unfaithful they don't love the person anymore. I hope you have the strength to kick him out and to look after yourself. You have done nothing wrong and you deserve happiness. Love Jo

dakota110705

Texasgirl....I am soooo sorry that you have to go through this...noone should have to....and the nerve to bring her right to your house. I think you took it better than I would've....you deserve much better than this. I hope you can move on and get rid of the cheater. It might sound harsh but there's no excuse for that no matter what...in my book. Hang in there hon

dollydo

Texasgirl,

Well, at least you know the truth for sure Look at it as a blessing, once a cheater always a cheater. You will not have to deal with this anymore. Go forward, let him go, live your life. There are many nice, non addicted, non cheaters out there, you don't deserve to be treated this way.

I am so very sorry, however, time will heal your wounds.

Take care of you,

Dolly

GettingBy

((((Texasgirl)))))....

Lots of good advice already given so the only thing I'll add is take your time and make a choice that works best for YOU.

ASpouse

I'm so sorry TexasGirl ..... one step at a time, even if they are baby steps and breathe.

TexasGirl

Hi again,
I usually only post here while I'm at work...my computer is STILL not hooked up at home! Last night as everything was unfolding though, I made a trip back to the office to post. I can check the replies from my cell phone (though I can't log in or post), because I knew I would need your words last night. So although I wasn't actually on, I was reading everything. For that, thanks.

I guess I could make him leave, but he grew up here, and I want to leave this town. Although in essence we bought that house together (were married, and I'm on the deed), it's his name on the mortgage, and he makes the payments. He put $15K of his earnings and time into fixing it up. We planned to re-sell sometime soon anyway. I'd rather just go, and get the house on the market. I'll ask for part of the profit later.

I can't leave before the 28th because I have SO MANY things to coordinate before the event, plus I'm the "ticket outlet." I'm just going to have to get through it, though this event adds even more stress in my life. The only reason I want to go to my parents is because I haven't found a job still!!!! Part of me would like the R&R, but part of me also thinks I shouldn't go that far...then I'd be 10 - 15 hours from any interviews instead of the current 1 - 4. We shall see...

The good news is that I'm going to be out of town tonight and tomorrow night for work. Free hotel!! That will give me some breather time.

My head doesn't hurt quite as bad today. Thanks y'all.

princess9282001

Hi TG!

Glad to see that you are in better spirits today. Looks like you figured out alot of your solutions to what you want to do. Enjoy your few days away. Have a little fun while youre gone sounds like you need it. Hey it a few days away from it all and its free. Free is always a good thing

elizabeth1979

((TG))

You deserve to be happy
You deserve someone who will be faithful
You deserve honesty
You deserve love
You are beautiful
You are smart

Tell your self these things out loud in the mirror, in the car, whenever you feel low.
This is rotten.

Life is not about the cards we are dealt, its about how we play our hand!

Hugs!

dax

Ok Legally you can't make him leave his own house but you can sure try. If he is so stupid as to have the ow come by his house, his middle name must be dumb.
I would dump his clothes on Donna's front lawn. This will send the message that you don't want to be bothered with the jerk but you know who his bi@@h is. I would change the locks also.
When i found out my H was cheating, I had a detailed map to her house- for her Superbowl and many AA parties she gave. He did all her computer work. I went and pounded om her door. She was inside but would not come up. Chicken **** that she is. I left her my pet sitting business card in the door. I did a lot more but enough said- you get the picture.
I am so sorry for the pain. I will not lie- it will take you years to come to grips with what has happened but you will survive and be a stronger more independent person for it. hugs dax

harleygirl92156

Ok, he is the one who made the decision to break his marriage vows/contract so you shouldn't have to be suffering anymore than necessary. I understand your wanting to leave. I understand your not wanting to put him out of the house that he paid to fix up. I understand that he grew up there and doesn't want to leave.

But, you can make him leave the home UNTIL you are ready to leave. You do not have to live like that. Since he grew up there, I would guess he has family or friends (one we know of) to stay with until you have had time to get your self in order and be ready to move. If it takes a month, if it takes six months, he should have the respect to at least allow you that time as he is the one that caused the problem in the first place. Make it clear he can have the house once you move on and that you will do so as soon as possible, but in the mean time, he is not welcome in the house.

I think that is the best solution for you. That way you don't have to see what he is doing against your marriage any longer and you don't have to listen to the lies and excuses, you won't have to deal with anything or anyone except YOU which is all you need to worry about and do the best for at this point.

I do have one question though, are you sure this is what you want to do? Have you thought it through or are you moving ahead out of fear and pain. If you are sure, then go for it, if not, take the time you need to be sure. Even the darkest clouds can have a silver lining.

dax

HG is SO right. Just get him out of the house for a month. I would make his every minute in the house hell- with constant reminders you only want him gone till you can leave. the good news- Feb is a short month. He is the one who has done wrong- really being nice isn't going to cut it with a man who brings the ow to the home. His lack of respect for you is appalling. He knew you were suspiciuos and did this. dax

Cindi R

Infidelity...hurts like hell. Feels like your heart has been ripped out of your chest...
At least that's how I described it the first time. But then he gave it back to me on a platter, said it didn't really mean anything and that he still loved me...
I "forgave" him...tried to go on, had a couple of kids...
I didn't get mad, but later got "even"...made myself even more miserable & unhappy.
Stayed together for the kids sake until it was too ugly...
Seperated a couple of times, he found live-ins within a month
Throw in some addiction issues, both of us...and you've got a perfect recipe for divorce at almost 25 years of marriage...
Hindsight...20/20
But I wouldn't have my kids today!

Minx1969

Oh TG,


I am so sorry you are going through this..Just a suggestion, if you can get him out of the house for a while or take a leave of absense from work I'd do it.,.

I know..The first man I lived with left me for someone else..there was no alcoholism evolved..

But I had to live with him (I was in grad. school) until he broke the lease and moved out..it was an extremely painful month..this man had the gall to want to borrow my luggage while he went to stay with the girl..

(he left her a year later)..

I took a leave of absense from grad. school to get through that mess..also when bf #2 (that I was living with) broke up, I was such a mess I took 3 sick days and stayed in bed..

Today I do what it takes to take care of me..even if it means taking some time off of work..I wasn't any good anyway..

I am so sorry you are going through this hell..it hurts I know..

Also know, his cheating isn't about you...you aren't any less beautiful or wonderful then when you met him...it took me a long time to understand that in my relationship with my ex...he was looking for an out and he was/is addicted to relationships..

Pick-a-name

I agree with Harley. Don't listen to anyone else but your own gut. I am not saying what he did was anything but wrong, but in one way it could possibly be the straw that breaks the camel's back that gets you both to your own bottoms.

Take as much time as you need to decide for you what you want. You owe no one else an explanation it you choose to walk away forever OR if you decide to work this all through with him. That is YOUR choice only. You have my support, either way.

((TG)) Don't do anything in the heat of emotion that can not be "undone". Your pace. I am in a similar position. Pray for guidance; you HP will lead your way, if you seek it and listen for it. More will be revealed.

escape artist

TG i am sorry that you had to experience this. your AH sucks.
it helps me to remember, i allready know what a shiithead my AH is, and the OW has yet to find out. It is not like he is going to turn into Prince Charming for her. - he will still be himself-selfish, thoughtless and drunk. everything else is smoke and mirrors.

pmaslan

TG...I can not add to what has been said.
I am so sorry that all has come to fruition.
I pray that you will do what is best for you.
If there is one thing I hate worse than a liar
it's a cheater......
(((TG)))