harleygirl92156

This is NOT what I had in mind at all. That is not something that will make you feel better about yourself! I simply meant asking him (nicely) to leave until you can get you things together and move.

susane1408

So sorry Texasgirl, been there done that many years ago. Stay strong.

dax

HG- Sorry - I should have specified that you and I agree only on the need for him to move for a month. And you are also SO right to ask nicely. I am just so programmed to having 'nice' not working with my H. He just trampled on all'nice' methods I tried. You are much more progamed in this respectr. for better and for worse. I am so happy you are doing well. dax

Cynay

*hugs*

Just want to add my support to the list... Yep has happened to me as well.

Please dont think about him right now, think only about what it will take to get you through this... I would ask him to leave until your ready to make the move too.

mallowcup

Ouch, sometimes when we pray for clarity and truth, we get it. I am grateful that you found out the way you did, when you did. This could have gone on for a ling time with you continuing to invest your self into this man and his nonsense. God is so kind in the way he allows up to learn the truth but buffers it with privacy and dignity. I am a firm believer that all adults can invest themselves into whatever they choose, I do think they are entitled to know the truth about the situation. There was no easy or unpainful way to learn about this truth. It was going to sting and burn like nothing before, Infidelity is such a devastating thing, it literally rocks your world. I think it's great that leaving is an option for you. I would say nothing. You do have a breather and you have time to plan a very final move. I think the physical distance will help. The 28th is not that far off and you can preoccupy your mind with your plans. I am so sorry for your pain and I remember it well. He has made your decision for you, now he can live with it. It's all fun and games until the foundation is gone. I'm glad you will base your life on the truth. sometimes the suspicions can drive you wacky, you question your judgement, you wonder what you are doing wrong or what else you can do. If for no other reason, you can feel good about making this hard move, this man has bad character.

harleygirl92156

Dax, I am not nor is anyone else in Al anon PROGRAMED. We are only getting healthy.

I pray for you.

dax

HG -Go ahead and pray- it can't hurt. May you work your steps in peace. God bless and remember- how important is it? You might find more peace if you are easier on yourself and don't over analyse if you are feekling bad. Alanons often worry too much if they can't live a perfect program. No one can. And they worry too much for those of us who do not care to do the steps. To each his own. dax

Gabe

TG...ouch, yeah?
Great affirmations from Sarah Elizabeth.
Use them, you will be amazed at how much they can change your thought processes.
He's an assbag and you deserve far better than to be treated like this.
Here's a from me to you.

Aquiana

I'm really sorry I missed this thread until now. I'm also really sorry that this happened to you. You've got some good advice from everyone so I'll just at a hug ((TG))

I think if he was any kind of a man at all he'd get out of your home until you are ready to go. So far he's already proven he's nowhere near a man.

denny57

I'm with the idea of taking your time and doing what is right for YOU.
That is what I did. And my AH is out of what he called "his" house. I feel fine about it. It was his choice to betray the marriage. I simply told him he could not come back into the house until things were worked out. He has respected that (by not speaking to me for 3 months lol). No matter - life is calm right now and I can't ask for more than that.