Need to Vent a Little

Old 09-02-2005, 08:49 AM
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Need to Vent a Little

I just need to get on here and vent a little because I know it wouldn't be beneficial to say anything to my AH. It is just building up inside me and wants to explode so I thought this would be a healthier place to get it out rather than exploding on him.

Last night, I was cleaning out the pockets of his jeans so I could wash them. In his pocket was a "birthday" card from the people at his A.A. meeting congratulating him on staying sober for 30 days. Well, he obviously lied to them because he drank two weeks ago. I found the bottle in the garage along with tons of empties and talked to him about it. It made me mad that he lied to his A.A. group. Isn't that the place for honesty and not judging people who slip? It makes me wonder how serious he is about his recovery when he'll lie to the very people that want to help him and understand him.

I know his recovery is his business and he needs to do it on his own terms, in his own time, for himself, but it just bothered me so I had to get it out.

Thank you all for listening and all the wonderful support you all offer. :hugehug
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Old 09-02-2005, 09:02 AM
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My ex used to do that all the time. He did it on here too. Used to make me so mad, but I think it's really sad now.

Keep the focus on your own recovery.
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Old 09-02-2005, 09:13 AM
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Thats frustrating I am sure. On the upside, at least he is going to AA. I think that says he is recongnizing a problem and if he didnt want to change I doubt he would go.

But, Minnie is right. Focus on you. I know its hard when you are so upset. But its always good to come to a safe place and vent
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Old 09-02-2005, 10:16 AM
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mine did it in his out patient program and ya know what? he's only lying to himself in the end which is denial - i let it go!
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Old 09-02-2005, 11:21 AM
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I understand exactly how you feel. I found a 30 day chip from A.A. one day when I picked up my exA's jeans that were lying on the bedroom floor. Fell out as I was starting to fold them. All I could do was cry...I thought how can you accept this chip from people that are working so hard at recovery....how dare you fool them. Your post has me thinking maybe he wasn't the only liar in his group. I guess the only person he was kidding was himself. I did confront him about it and he said...."yeah I know I feel bad about accepting it".....all I could say was with eyes rolling..."really." As you know A's can't be honest with anyone that includes themselves....
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Old 09-02-2005, 11:55 AM
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It takes a long time to get honest. The A's in AA know that.
Lets hope the guilt doesn't cause him to stop going to AA.
Please let it be his problem.
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Old 09-02-2005, 12:54 PM
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My former husband once bought a whole box of poker chips.......why?

To show me his "earned" chip for recovery.

Amazing the depths the disease will drive people to. He is sick, sweetie, please dont take it personally.
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