advbike

I understand you have a harassment case against him but I guess I really don't understand the point. Clearly his alcoholism is progressing, and he is dysfunctional, but wouldn't be easier to just change all your contact info so you don't ever hear from him, or anyone associated with him again.. and move on? Let go and have a happy life. Seems like the case and all that just holds you in it.

sadmtl

Sorry for the delay in replying. I am going to court on Monday.
I have tried to block him, but what am I supposed to do, also change my job? He knows where I work, he has emailed me there, and can call there as well. The more I tried to block him, the more he finds ways to contact me. He even gave my name to his new employer as his spouse to contact. So when he went missing in his alcoholism for days, I got contacted by the employer and by the police.
I also find that the more I try to block him the angrier he gets and, to be honest, that is scary. I am hoping that a court order will de-escalate his need to control me. I no longer believe that blocking is the option. I need to protect myself.

trailmix

hi sadmtl, yes, you are right. Your safety is number 1. It might not be a bad idea to call your local domestic violence center, or even the main national number, to speak to someone with experience with this kind of thing. They will be able to give you advice on what to do to keep yourself safe, even some things you haven't thought of.

sadmtl

Thank you trailmix. I have called them, however, I feel more understood by people who have lived with alcoholics.

sage1969

The only thing I can really suggest is to maintain no contact and stay safe, be prepared to call the police if you need to. If your court date is Monday, perhaps you could go away for the weekend? Somewhere you can have some peace without worrying about whether he's going to cause more problems?

sadmtl

Today is the day. I spent the weekend with friends talking about everything other than the court date or my ex. Last night I finalized the documentation that I need to take to court and I have made arrangements to never be in the same area of the courthouse as him. I admit that the closer I get to the hour the more nervous I am getting. Last week one of my friends actually put a doubt in my mind that he would show up today. That maybe after the police I went into rehab but I actually do not believe that to be true as a week or so later a client tried to call him and he was drunk on the phone at 8:30 in the morning on a Thursday. The client had been looking for him for over a week and since I was taking care of the company before the end of the relationship he called me and told me this. The call happened on February 10. I guess it's still possible that he entered rehab after that date. I guess I won't know anything before I go to the courthouse today.
I honestly just want all this to be over, the sooner the better. However, having dealt with his alcoholism for over 15 years, I don't believe that I will be truly free until he takes care of his addiction which saddens me.

RunningScared

Best wishes for your court hearing. Let us know how it turns out. You'll do fine.

Hawkeye13

How did it go? Did he show up and are you OK?

sage1969

Hoping that your court appearance yielded what you had wanted / needed. Let us know how you're doing.