Here I am again....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 114
Here I am again....
I feel like I post way to much here. But I just need someone who will listen. I’m so alone and discouraged. I know all the right answers. I’ve read everyone’s comments. But I guess I just keep thinking maybe my story will be different. But it’s obviously not. He’s exactly like what everyone writes about.
So I posted a few days ago. He went thru some withdrawals and then started right back to drinking. We had a rough weekend. But made it thru. He had to be on call this week. So he said he wasn’t gonna drink. This was it he was gonna get himself together. Blah blah blah. And he did. He really didn’t drink at all. Was very stand offish to me. Drunk him loves me and is so touchy feely. And is so sorry for being screwed up. But I have really really tried to be as loving and supportive as I can. Even if he was hateful and struggling. Then tonight rolls around. He goes off call tomorrow. So I really thought things would be ok tonight. Wrong. He drinks. I knew it immediately when he walked in the door. But I still was trying to be nice. I had cooked him supper. And made him a plate. Yada yada. The kids go to bed. Which he kept my son up way past his bedtime. But I still tried to hold it together. But I knew what was getting ready to take place. So the kids go to bed and I get his plate out and he of course tells me I didn’t cook the chicken the correct way. He doesn’t like it like that. Well you know what then starve. That’s what I tell my kids. They don’t get away with something like that. But it was just an excuse to start a fight. Which I already knew was gonna happen. Then he proceeded to follow me to bed and lay beside me and tell me how I have made his life miserable. And if we split up he would never have another wife. Because I have scarred him so much. And I’m a terrible hypocrite. He does good and treats people good. And prays over his food. He said I bet you didn’t do that today. Really?!?!? I only see his sin and not my own. Oh my gosh. I laid there and never said one word. I just let him talk. I didn’t cry. And didn’t fight back. Nothing. I had made my mind up earlier this month that if he started back i was gonna try and leave after Christmas. I really wanted Christmas for my kids. In our home. But I’m not sure I can do it. I feel terrible. It makes me so sad. I know he’s gonna die. If he don’t stop. I know it. But I can’t stand being talked to the way he talks to me. He doesn’t care if he hurts me or not. I don’t know why it’s so dang hard to walk out the door. Walk away from someone you could care less about you. Why???? And with the kids what do I do?? I have no money. None. I can’t go to a lawyer. I’m just lost at what I need to do.
So I posted a few days ago. He went thru some withdrawals and then started right back to drinking. We had a rough weekend. But made it thru. He had to be on call this week. So he said he wasn’t gonna drink. This was it he was gonna get himself together. Blah blah blah. And he did. He really didn’t drink at all. Was very stand offish to me. Drunk him loves me and is so touchy feely. And is so sorry for being screwed up. But I have really really tried to be as loving and supportive as I can. Even if he was hateful and struggling. Then tonight rolls around. He goes off call tomorrow. So I really thought things would be ok tonight. Wrong. He drinks. I knew it immediately when he walked in the door. But I still was trying to be nice. I had cooked him supper. And made him a plate. Yada yada. The kids go to bed. Which he kept my son up way past his bedtime. But I still tried to hold it together. But I knew what was getting ready to take place. So the kids go to bed and I get his plate out and he of course tells me I didn’t cook the chicken the correct way. He doesn’t like it like that. Well you know what then starve. That’s what I tell my kids. They don’t get away with something like that. But it was just an excuse to start a fight. Which I already knew was gonna happen. Then he proceeded to follow me to bed and lay beside me and tell me how I have made his life miserable. And if we split up he would never have another wife. Because I have scarred him so much. And I’m a terrible hypocrite. He does good and treats people good. And prays over his food. He said I bet you didn’t do that today. Really?!?!? I only see his sin and not my own. Oh my gosh. I laid there and never said one word. I just let him talk. I didn’t cry. And didn’t fight back. Nothing. I had made my mind up earlier this month that if he started back i was gonna try and leave after Christmas. I really wanted Christmas for my kids. In our home. But I’m not sure I can do it. I feel terrible. It makes me so sad. I know he’s gonna die. If he don’t stop. I know it. But I can’t stand being talked to the way he talks to me. He doesn’t care if he hurts me or not. I don’t know why it’s so dang hard to walk out the door. Walk away from someone you could care less about you. Why???? And with the kids what do I do?? I have no money. None. I can’t go to a lawyer. I’m just lost at what I need to do.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 395
I’m so sorry you’re going through this rollercoaster of hurt, pain and turmoil. I can see just how overwhelming your life is right now. Making him dinner... doing everything in your power to love and help a man who is currently unwilling to change... to find a way to stop drinking... to help your relationship. He just criticizes you, demeans you, undermines you.
Breathe. Take a moment. Sometimes everyone needs a reminder to try and step away from the chaos... even if for a moment. Listen, there’s always options. Sometimes it takes a bit longer but there’s always a way out.
Breathe. Take a moment. Sometimes everyone needs a reminder to try and step away from the chaos... even if for a moment. Listen, there’s always options. Sometimes it takes a bit longer but there’s always a way out.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
One thing you have going for yourself is self-esteem. You know his spewings are the result of a distorted mind, projecting how he feels about himself onto you.
You're swinging between wanting to leave and the inability to just do it. As LCNYC suggests, take a step back, breathe, and give yourself a pool of calmness to think in.
Do you have close family and friends, or church, to support you?
Research some social services available in your area, including non-governmental.
Don't be afraid to talk to a domestic violence service. DV includes the kind of abuse you're putting up with and the services are experts at helping abused partners leave, even with no money.
When you say you have no money, do you mean he doesn't make it available to you or that your family income isn't enough to save? If you can make small savings, or earn some money on the side stash it away in a secret emergency fund.
You may be feeling low in spirits or fed up, but you got this! Show yourself just how resourceful you can be.
You're swinging between wanting to leave and the inability to just do it. As LCNYC suggests, take a step back, breathe, and give yourself a pool of calmness to think in.
Do you have close family and friends, or church, to support you?
Research some social services available in your area, including non-governmental.
Don't be afraid to talk to a domestic violence service. DV includes the kind of abuse you're putting up with and the services are experts at helping abused partners leave, even with no money.
When you say you have no money, do you mean he doesn't make it available to you or that your family income isn't enough to save? If you can make small savings, or earn some money on the side stash it away in a secret emergency fund.
You may be feeling low in spirits or fed up, but you got this! Show yourself just how resourceful you can be.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 47
It's hard because he didn't always treat you this way. And you hope time and again that you will see the original him. I'm sure he didn't start out criticizing you on a daily basis, it was gradual. And just like it took time to build a tolerance for this treatment of you, you will need to build a tolerance to the idea of leaving. Give yourself some of the patience that you keep giving him. It's hard to end a relationship that you thought would last a lifetime.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,647
Yes he won't get married again due to his scarring from having the chicken cooked incorrectly. Yes he was itching to argue with you, well to dump his feelings on you (which are no doubt mostly about him, not you).
You talk about him and ask why it is so hard to walk away from someone who doesn't care about you. Well chances are he does, but he cannot control his drinking, his temper and he is abusing you clowery.
I would really recommend that you contact your nearest DV center, you can call the main number if you can't find a local number:
https://www.thehotline.org/help/ or 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
It's completely confidential. They are experts as this kind of situation. They can let you know what social benefits you may be eligible for, help you to find housing, refer you to lawyers and most of all reassure you that you don't need to put up with this.
You mention leaving after xmas, or sooner, you know time away and space from this tornado of drama would give you time to reassess what you want to do and give you clarity. It's really hard to sort all this out when you are right in the middle of all this, just trying to cope.
I hope you will reach out to DV for help. You need all the support you can get.
As for him, he needs to reach for his own help, or not, as he sees fit. You didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it.
You talk about him and ask why it is so hard to walk away from someone who doesn't care about you. Well chances are he does, but he cannot control his drinking, his temper and he is abusing you clowery.
I would really recommend that you contact your nearest DV center, you can call the main number if you can't find a local number:
https://www.thehotline.org/help/ or 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
It's completely confidential. They are experts as this kind of situation. They can let you know what social benefits you may be eligible for, help you to find housing, refer you to lawyers and most of all reassure you that you don't need to put up with this.
You mention leaving after xmas, or sooner, you know time away and space from this tornado of drama would give you time to reassess what you want to do and give you clarity. It's really hard to sort all this out when you are right in the middle of all this, just trying to cope.
I hope you will reach out to DV for help. You need all the support you can get.
As for him, he needs to reach for his own help, or not, as he sees fit. You didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
First thread:
"2 beautiful kids. Ages 14 and 11."
When we aren't yet able to break away from the dysfunction for ourselves, sometimes God/Great Spirit/Universe gives us a 'beyond us' experience of stepping up in new ways in order to protect our children.
Space away from the alcoholic environment can look like many things:
Safe time a few days or weeks at a time with supportive friends or family, time spent at public libraries, free community programs and other places where healthy, happy people are can be valuable and transformative. To give yourselves and the kids freedom in any kind of doses to help in the day you're in.
"2 beautiful kids. Ages 14 and 11."
When we aren't yet able to break away from the dysfunction for ourselves, sometimes God/Great Spirit/Universe gives us a 'beyond us' experience of stepping up in new ways in order to protect our children.
Space away from the alcoholic environment can look like many things:
Safe time a few days or weeks at a time with supportive friends or family, time spent at public libraries, free community programs and other places where healthy, happy people are can be valuable and transformative. To give yourselves and the kids freedom in any kind of doses to help in the day you're in.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 134
clowery
I’ve deleted my responses to you like 5 times now. For some reason I just can’t think of what to say or how to say it. Most likely because you remind me of me a few months ago. What I can tell you is, YOU are STRONGER then you realize. It’s sooo hard to take that next step. Your mind knows it’s the logical thing to do but your heart just isn’t following suit.
These were my thoughts/hopes about my AH:
Why won’t he just quit drinking!
Cant he see how bad it hurts our family?
Why is he treating me so badly, I’m only trying to help him?!
He’s going to get better, I just know it! He has to
Any day now he’s going to realize he needs to change!
These are all logical thoughts to have. Unfortunately we’re not dealing with a logical person anymore and their is nothing you or me can do to change this. It has to be THEIR choice to make changes in their life. This is a very hard concept to fully grasp. I was hanging on by my fingertips for the last year or more. And to be completely honest it does get worse, much worse the longer they drink and will not seek help.
I was at the point where I started to hate my AH. And hate is a word I don’t take lightly or normally use. How do you hate someone you’ve loved for so long., how does that even happen? And it hurt, it hurt so bad to feel this way...
I cant tell you to leave or stay, that choice has to come from you. You have to be mentally ready to take that step... or leap of faith, depending on how you look at it.
I can say that since we’ve been separated and I’ve had a moment to breath...it’s a feeling I can’t quite explain. Yes you hurt, yes you start doubting yourself, yes your mind plays tricks on you. BUT eventually...you will feel a sense of calm, you will start seeing your life in a different perspective, you can and will start caring for yourself for a change. This was huge for me as I realized I was more “damaged” then I realized. You can’t help anyone until you help yourself. I thought this meant being “self centered” but it’s totally opposite of that. I understand this better now and my kids are benefiting from it too!
Whatever you decide is best for you, I wish you peace and clarity in your life 💛
I’ve deleted my responses to you like 5 times now. For some reason I just can’t think of what to say or how to say it. Most likely because you remind me of me a few months ago. What I can tell you is, YOU are STRONGER then you realize. It’s sooo hard to take that next step. Your mind knows it’s the logical thing to do but your heart just isn’t following suit.
These were my thoughts/hopes about my AH:
Why won’t he just quit drinking!
Cant he see how bad it hurts our family?
Why is he treating me so badly, I’m only trying to help him?!
He’s going to get better, I just know it! He has to
Any day now he’s going to realize he needs to change!
These are all logical thoughts to have. Unfortunately we’re not dealing with a logical person anymore and their is nothing you or me can do to change this. It has to be THEIR choice to make changes in their life. This is a very hard concept to fully grasp. I was hanging on by my fingertips for the last year or more. And to be completely honest it does get worse, much worse the longer they drink and will not seek help.
I was at the point where I started to hate my AH. And hate is a word I don’t take lightly or normally use. How do you hate someone you’ve loved for so long., how does that even happen? And it hurt, it hurt so bad to feel this way...
I cant tell you to leave or stay, that choice has to come from you. You have to be mentally ready to take that step... or leap of faith, depending on how you look at it.
I can say that since we’ve been separated and I’ve had a moment to breath...it’s a feeling I can’t quite explain. Yes you hurt, yes you start doubting yourself, yes your mind plays tricks on you. BUT eventually...you will feel a sense of calm, you will start seeing your life in a different perspective, you can and will start caring for yourself for a change. This was huge for me as I realized I was more “damaged” then I realized. You can’t help anyone until you help yourself. I thought this meant being “self centered” but it’s totally opposite of that. I understand this better now and my kids are benefiting from it too!
Whatever you decide is best for you, I wish you peace and clarity in your life 💛
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
clowery…….I went back and scanned most of your old threads...and, I am pleased to see that you have a very supportive family that you said would be willing to take you in, instantly, if you wanted. That is a great advantage for you!
I see that he is a belligerent drunk and that this has been going on for years, and recently, getting even worse...especially the cruel verbal attacks on you---sometimes for hours. That is so wrong of him, and it is not your fault...
Here is my suggestion for your consideration---------I think it may be time to leave and go to your parent's home for an extended stay...for now...while you sort yourself out. You will need to tell them the truth...the whole truth, if you haven't, already. I know you don't want to tell them, but, the reality is, that, eventually, they are going to find out, anyway. Might as well pull the bandaid off now...
****Here is where I am going to share with you , very strongly...because, I feel like you need more human to human practical support from those who understand more than you think they can. ****While you are at your parent's house...or, before you leave....CALL THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ORGANICE ORGANIZATION....with the number that was given you. They will put you in touch with the most local organization that will help you;;;;
The calls are completely confidential, and the workers are so understand ing and will want, very much, to help you. The thing is...they do this ki nd of work 24/7...and, they have resources at their fingertips that you probably don't even know about. They can help you in every area of concern....housing, food, child care, transportation, legal help, counseling, help with a leaving plan, if you need it....
In other words. you will have a "team" of people, on your side who completely understand your circumstances....
This would be IN ADDITION to staying with your parents. You don't have to pick one or the other...you can have, and need both.
Don't let the term "domestic violence" scare you ….There are several types of abuse that don't even include physical hitting....For example, there is psychological abuse, verbal abuse, financial abuse, neglect, etc....
From what you have shared, you certainly do qualify for the services.
You are being abused by your husband...even if you have never thought of it in that way.....
No one ever needs to knw that you are get ing support and help from the dv people, including your husband and your parents, if you don't want them to know....Every thing is kept in strict confidential...…
I suggest that you might tell the kids that you are going to have a "special Christmas at Grandma's house, this year. It will be a lot of fun to have it at Grandma's house".....Kids won't care as long as there is a tree and presents, etc....And, dad can come over to the house, on Christmas day, if he wants to....(if it is o.k. with everyone, of course)…..
Be sure to secretly take all of your vital important documents, or copies of them with you. Like, birth certificates, marriage documents, medical records, etc....
Don't worry that he will take the kids away from you.....In the U/s, kids are not taken away from the mother based on financial standing! Don't listen to his threats, along that line!! He tries to intimidate you.
I wouldn't talk to his family, in detail, about your plans. They can't be objective and, may not know the law as much as they think they do....
Rely on the professionals...lawyer, counselor, the dv people....these are people who can be objective and know what they are talking about....and, are on your side....
I know that you feel that he is in control of everything, including all of the money....but, he is not, as much as he thinks he is....that can come to an end....
Your lawyer or legal counsel, through the dv people can show you how much of the marital assets belong to you....and, what rights you do have....
He has kept you down for too long....but, you are stronger than you know,,,and, there is a lot more help than you realize....all you have to do is reach out your h and...and, you will be surprised....
I see that he is a belligerent drunk and that this has been going on for years, and recently, getting even worse...especially the cruel verbal attacks on you---sometimes for hours. That is so wrong of him, and it is not your fault...
Here is my suggestion for your consideration---------I think it may be time to leave and go to your parent's home for an extended stay...for now...while you sort yourself out. You will need to tell them the truth...the whole truth, if you haven't, already. I know you don't want to tell them, but, the reality is, that, eventually, they are going to find out, anyway. Might as well pull the bandaid off now...
****Here is where I am going to share with you , very strongly...because, I feel like you need more human to human practical support from those who understand more than you think they can. ****While you are at your parent's house...or, before you leave....CALL THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ORGANICE ORGANIZATION....with the number that was given you. They will put you in touch with the most local organization that will help you;;;;
The calls are completely confidential, and the workers are so understand ing and will want, very much, to help you. The thing is...they do this ki nd of work 24/7...and, they have resources at their fingertips that you probably don't even know about. They can help you in every area of concern....housing, food, child care, transportation, legal help, counseling, help with a leaving plan, if you need it....
In other words. you will have a "team" of people, on your side who completely understand your circumstances....
This would be IN ADDITION to staying with your parents. You don't have to pick one or the other...you can have, and need both.
Don't let the term "domestic violence" scare you ….There are several types of abuse that don't even include physical hitting....For example, there is psychological abuse, verbal abuse, financial abuse, neglect, etc....
From what you have shared, you certainly do qualify for the services.
You are being abused by your husband...even if you have never thought of it in that way.....
No one ever needs to knw that you are get ing support and help from the dv people, including your husband and your parents, if you don't want them to know....Every thing is kept in strict confidential...…
I suggest that you might tell the kids that you are going to have a "special Christmas at Grandma's house, this year. It will be a lot of fun to have it at Grandma's house".....Kids won't care as long as there is a tree and presents, etc....And, dad can come over to the house, on Christmas day, if he wants to....(if it is o.k. with everyone, of course)…..
Be sure to secretly take all of your vital important documents, or copies of them with you. Like, birth certificates, marriage documents, medical records, etc....
Don't worry that he will take the kids away from you.....In the U/s, kids are not taken away from the mother based on financial standing! Don't listen to his threats, along that line!! He tries to intimidate you.
I wouldn't talk to his family, in detail, about your plans. They can't be objective and, may not know the law as much as they think they do....
Rely on the professionals...lawyer, counselor, the dv people....these are people who can be objective and know what they are talking about....and, are on your side....
I know that you feel that he is in control of everything, including all of the money....but, he is not, as much as he thinks he is....that can come to an end....
Your lawyer or legal counsel, through the dv people can show you how much of the marital assets belong to you....and, what rights you do have....
He has kept you down for too long....but, you are stronger than you know,,,and, there is a lot more help than you realize....all you have to do is reach out your h and...and, you will be surprised....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Virginia
Posts: 469
Clowery,
I want to let you know that you are not alone. We are here to help you out and listen. You have been very strong in dealing with him. You should be proud of yourself for that.
You have tried talking to him and the only thing you get in return is some one who talks down to you. He is looking for ways to make you feel like you are the one who has done wrong and he is the best thing since sliced bread. This is how alcoholics try to keep control. They manipulate the conversation to where you want to apology to the them. When it should be them apologizing to you.
You just laying there in bed not saying a word, why he tried to belittle you took a lot of strength. I can only imagine how much that was hurting you inside. You did the right thing in not giving him the satisfaction of a fight. He is only looking for an excuse to drink.
Take trailmixes advice and call the DV hotline. They can help you with some of your questions of what to do. I know you wanted to try and keep everything together until Christmas, but it might be a better plan to keep everyone safe and go sooner.
Keep being strong and holding your boundaries. Don't let him get the better of you by putting you down. You need to take care of your self and the kids. He can only help himself.
I want to let you know that you are not alone. We are here to help you out and listen. You have been very strong in dealing with him. You should be proud of yourself for that.
You have tried talking to him and the only thing you get in return is some one who talks down to you. He is looking for ways to make you feel like you are the one who has done wrong and he is the best thing since sliced bread. This is how alcoholics try to keep control. They manipulate the conversation to where you want to apology to the them. When it should be them apologizing to you.
You just laying there in bed not saying a word, why he tried to belittle you took a lot of strength. I can only imagine how much that was hurting you inside. You did the right thing in not giving him the satisfaction of a fight. He is only looking for an excuse to drink.
Take trailmixes advice and call the DV hotline. They can help you with some of your questions of what to do. I know you wanted to try and keep everything together until Christmas, but it might be a better plan to keep everyone safe and go sooner.
Keep being strong and holding your boundaries. Don't let him get the better of you by putting you down. You need to take care of your self and the kids. He can only help himself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,647
Originally Posted by clowery0508 
I feel like I post way to much here.
Post when you like, lots of people here to support you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
you have mentioned that you have left at least twice before? also stated that your family would take you in in a heart beat, as they had recently done during your last temporary separation. you HAVE a refuge for you and your children, that does not require that you first have funds.
now is the time to think rationally - not emotionally. think PLAN, think EXIT, think SAFE. for you and the kids. he has made his priorities quite clear.
Here is an excerpt from the NA pamphlet Who, What, How, and Why:
Who is an addict?
Most of us do not have to think twice about this question. We know! Our whole life and thinking was centered in drugs in one form or another—the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. We lived to use and used to live
your AH will DO anything, SAY anything, in order to protect and defend his right to use alcohol. he has forsaken all else. he will lie, deflect, attack, supplicate, promise, threaten, demean, coax, cajole, pretend. that's the thing about addiction - whatever it takes.
if julia child came back to life and made him Coq Au Vin - he'd still complain - if she stood between him and leftover wine. this is not about your cooking skills, house cleaning, personality, or choice of NFL teams. none of it is PERSONAL - you are simply in the way.
so leave him to it. get out of his way. get out from under the depressive grip of addiction. begin to live a real free life again.
now is the time to think rationally - not emotionally. think PLAN, think EXIT, think SAFE. for you and the kids. he has made his priorities quite clear.
Here is an excerpt from the NA pamphlet Who, What, How, and Why:
Who is an addict?
Most of us do not have to think twice about this question. We know! Our whole life and thinking was centered in drugs in one form or another—the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. We lived to use and used to live
your AH will DO anything, SAY anything, in order to protect and defend his right to use alcohol. he has forsaken all else. he will lie, deflect, attack, supplicate, promise, threaten, demean, coax, cajole, pretend. that's the thing about addiction - whatever it takes.
if julia child came back to life and made him Coq Au Vin - he'd still complain - if she stood between him and leftover wine. this is not about your cooking skills, house cleaning, personality, or choice of NFL teams. none of it is PERSONAL - you are simply in the way.
so leave him to it. get out of his way. get out from under the depressive grip of addiction. begin to live a real free life again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 114
Thanks for all your comments!!
I am so tired of this. I have packed some of mine and the kids things. The necessities. And if he picks a fight tonight. I’m getting the kids and going to my parents house. My daughter knows what’s going on. I finally broke down and told her. She’s ready. It broke my heart. She said it all made sense now. And said she don’t care if we spilt up. She said at least there will be no more fighting. I’ve not talked to my son yet. He is out with my AH. I’m praying it won’t be a fight. But it is almost every night. But I’m prepared if needed.
I am so tired of this. I have packed some of mine and the kids things. The necessities. And if he picks a fight tonight. I’m getting the kids and going to my parents house. My daughter knows what’s going on. I finally broke down and told her. She’s ready. It broke my heart. She said it all made sense now. And said she don’t care if we spilt up. She said at least there will be no more fighting. I’ve not talked to my son yet. He is out with my AH. I’m praying it won’t be a fight. But it is almost every night. But I’m prepared if needed.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 134
So sorry you are going thru this. I’m glad you are prepared, it’s sad that you have to be. I’m sure you never saw things unfolding this way. Your children are old enough to hear the truth (at least parts) for now, another sad thing you never thought you’d have to do. Think of it this way: you and your children are a team. Not against your husband or their dad, but a team who works together to find happiness, to laugh and love freely (without walking on eggshells) and to become a stronger, healthier family unit together. Your AH can choose to be on the team or he can stay on the bench, that’s up to him. BUT...don’t let it stop your team from winning the playoffs. Practice, practice, practice and never give up! You may not win every game but you can learn to overcome your obstacles and try again.
You got this!
You got this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 114
Originally Posted by hopeful4
How are things today? Sending you lots of support!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 134
Clowery,
How have you been doing? I hope you had a wonderful holiday with your kids. It’s 50 degrees (crazy) where I’m at (I’m not complaining) but kids really wanted snow for X-Mas.
I told them they could go rake leaves...lol
Sending you and your family well wishes
How have you been doing? I hope you had a wonderful holiday with your kids. It’s 50 degrees (crazy) where I’m at (I’m not complaining) but kids really wanted snow for X-Mas.
I told them they could go rake leaves...lol
Sending you and your family well wishes
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 114
Originally Posted by FarmhouseGal
Clowery,
How have you been doing? I hope you had a wonderful holiday with your kids. It’s 50 degrees (crazy) where I’m at (I’m not complaining) but kids really wanted snow for X-Mas.
I told them they could go rake leaves...lol
Sending you and your family well wishes
How have you been doing? I hope you had a wonderful holiday with your kids. It’s 50 degrees (crazy) where I’m at (I’m not complaining) but kids really wanted snow for X-Mas.
I told them they could go rake leaves...lol
Sending you and your family well wishes
FarmhouseGal
Things overall went fairly well. I was on pins and needles all through Christmas. There was lots of drinking on AH behalf. But we managed to not fight. Christmas morning was a little rough. He was still a tad intoxicated from the night before and continued after my kids opened their gifts. Then we had to go to my parents house. He drank a lot right before we left and was very mouthy on the way. He could tell I was very agitated and said I’m sorry I will pull it together. Which surprisingly he did. I was so nervous though. My family doesn’t know anything other than my parents and they have no idea how bad he is. So that was extremely stressful. Then Thursday I had a another family dinner that he didn’t attend because of work and Friday me and the kids went to a theme park with my brother and his kids and were gone until late so we didn’t see him. Now it’s Saturday at 9:30 and he is up and started his day by drinking. This has became an every Saturday thing. Up drinking early. It used to be wait a little bit. At least til 4 or 5 ish. But I guess it’s gotta be before breakfast now. It should be a great day. But we have made it through the holidays and that was my goal.
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