AnvilheadII

you could have been the WORST wife on the planet and that is still not a JUSTIFICATION for him to drink. you didn't MAKE him drink. you didn't damage his liver. you just don't have that kind of power.........

i hope you drop the need to put on a front and be honest with your family about what is going on. we are only as sick as our secrets. you are not allowing them to BE there for you, you are assuming they will condemn you or think less of you. or that it's a competition for best looking marriage. NONE of that matters.............

Ladybird579

My exah had a home detox after we had split up. My three sons were in the house at the time and the person who had organised it was from a charity who supervised detox for free. However the charity worker phoned me from his car and said it wasn't going well and wanted me there and I insisted he took him to hospital. Off he went for the fist of many, many detoxes. My point being if you put up with this and do it you will probably be doing it again and again.

Seren

Hello clarity,

I just wanted to let you know that I empathize with the guilt you feel about going to school and how much of a drag that can be on a marriage. The late Mr. Seren and I met and married while I was in graduate school. He did the lion's share of work around the house, the yard, etc. About 2.5 years ago, I was finally near the end of my thesis work. In fact on a Thursday, I turned in what was nearly my final, final draft to my advisor and was so happy because I was looking forward to making up all that time, spending more time together, finally planning the rest of our lives together, and he died on that Saturday.

But please, please let me be clear. Your work toward your degree is not the reason your husband drinks. He drinks because he is an alcoholic.

I hope and pray that he will get the help he needs and that the two of you will be able to work through the remainder of your problems. I really do...I hope you have that chance.

But please do not let guilt control your actions!

clarity888

Seren, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I cannot imagine how hard that is. I am so glad to see you are here, and I appreciate your encouragement. Thank you. Yes, my situation feels similar as far as being right there, at the moment where a more normal routine was around the corner. Everyone is right that there is not reason NOT to tell my family, which I will. Secrets are destructive. I went to family support last night and met people and got help. I have to create another thread for one subject. Thanks everyone.