Advice from the other side
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 394
Originally Posted by keepingthefaith 
Babescake,
As I look at your actions:
Posted on Dec. 15:
"I've had a problem for the last 6 years"
"It's progressed through the years"
"attempts at sobriety, but nothing sticking."
"I do have an addiction therapist... I need additional support so I'm going to AA Saturday."
"I think I can get better because I have to."
"My alcoholism is not well-known, nor is even my depression. I'm ashamed of both and I'm VERY private about both issues. I'd like to keep it that way as that is my choice medically I would think."
Posted today:
"I am doing AA and an addiction therapist, plus acupuncture."
Addiction is chronic and progressive. It lies to the person with this disease and everyone nearby.
As I look at your actions:
Posted on Dec. 15:
"I've had a problem for the last 6 years"
"It's progressed through the years"
"attempts at sobriety, but nothing sticking."
"I do have an addiction therapist... I need additional support so I'm going to AA Saturday."
"I think I can get better because I have to."
"My alcoholism is not well-known, nor is even my depression. I'm ashamed of both and I'm VERY private about both issues. I'd like to keep it that way as that is my choice medically I would think."
Posted today:
"I am doing AA and an addiction therapist, plus acupuncture."
Addiction is chronic and progressive. It lies to the person with this disease and everyone nearby.
Do you advocate I do nothing and just stay the hell out of my kid's life? Sorry, my husband comes from a very dysfunctional family and I don't see why me countering about him having the ability to move 500 miles away from home or not consulting me about very real issues is a problem. I'm a conscientious person. I know when I drink I'm not myself. I'm not contesting that. But I DO care about my son and feel I should have a part in huge decisions, (health, financial, etc.) that impact his life. If that makes me bad or delusional then fine. But constantly living under the pressure of "only one time to screw it up" isn't healthy either. I could be hit by a bus tomorrow too. I don't get your point. You're not telling me anything I don't already know.
Me being private about my health matters shouldn't be seen as a bad sign. The important people in my life know. I'm not going to spout it from the rooftops. I've had depression for 15+ years and I've managed. THAT isn't the main issue. The alcoholism is, which has obviously not helped the depression. I've managed in that time frame when alcohol wasn't an issue. Successful and healthy so I KNOW I can do it if I treat the alcoholism.
Last thing, and I apologize if so defensive, but I took a step coming here. I'm not denying anything, but cut me some slack in wanting to be part of my kid's life. Should I just remain on the bottle and not care? I feel you think I will anyway. And the whole quote about doing better because I "have" to isn't because someone is making me. It's either that or die and it is for MYSELF. For others as well? Absolutely. But this is purely for me. Like I said, I've recognized the problem way before divorce was an issue, and there is no denying I've still struggled.
However, to insinuate I'm beyond help and should just give up on my child outright is really uncalled for. So please block or ignore my posts. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 413
Originally Posted by Babescake
Isn't this supposed to be supportive? I don't get your intentions. Sure you might see them as BS, but for me they are pure. I don't get your hostility toward me. Yes, you no doubt have been with an alcoholic. And here for many more years than me. I just don't get why me reaching out for advice or mentioning I'm trying recovery is conceived as a bad thing? I can't ensure it will work. Yet, I'm trying. I'm not in denial. I just don't understand the negative parade on efforts being put forth. I'm still sober. And that is all I can do one day at a time. Mocking me about it is really unjust. I asked honest questions and I've not discounted anyone's opinion. So why must you discount my intent
)You would probably be better off posting in the alcoholics forum than in the friends and family. They will be better able to relate to your way of thinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Okay people, time to cool off.
If you can't post from your personal experience in a supportive way then go find some other thread where you can. I have removed posts that were inflamatory and in violation of SR's rules.
This thread has answered the original question several times. Posts are becoming repetitive and negative. Before it turns into a fight I am closing this thread.
Mike
Moderator, SR
If you can't post from your personal experience in a supportive way then go find some other thread where you can. I have removed posts that were inflamatory and in violation of SR's rules.
This thread has answered the original question several times. Posts are becoming repetitive and negative. Before it turns into a fight I am closing this thread.
Mike
Moderator, SR
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