No Contact initiated by others
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
No Contact initiated by others
After going No Contact with my parents, my brother and, when needed, my husband... I now embrace it as a wonderful gift.
Now I'm seeing how often I'm on the other side of No Contact with my adult children. It's been said again and again with actions - lack of contact, no time spent with me when we're together, busy-ness in their own lives.
It doesn't matter WHY this "no contact" has come about, what matters is this day and my recovery.
I'm creating gift packages for the holidays that are fun, affordable and from the heart, with no expectations. Driving many miles to see them, give DS10 some time with them and am greatly enjoying the JOURNEY. Each day is taking care of itself. I'm able to say "No" without guilt, make connections and move on.
Yesterday DS10 and I slept in late, played games, explored the local mall together and ate a late lunch before a short visit at my daughter's house to say good-bye to her and her family. I'm no longer going to stay around places where ACTIONS show I'm not wanted. Life is meant to be LIVED, not suffered through.
Keeping up my support network while traveling, as I've gotten very used to doing. Alanon, Grief support meeting and an open AA meeting so far this week.
I'm recognizing I'm going through a lot of intense healing right now. That this needs priority.
Today has started with smiles, laughter and relaxation time for DS10 and I. We're back in another city we feel quite at home at and have holiday events we're going to here today. We've been ombining learning with fun... and the holidays keep bringing many more opportunities to do this!
Now I'm seeing how often I'm on the other side of No Contact with my adult children. It's been said again and again with actions - lack of contact, no time spent with me when we're together, busy-ness in their own lives.
It doesn't matter WHY this "no contact" has come about, what matters is this day and my recovery.
I'm creating gift packages for the holidays that are fun, affordable and from the heart, with no expectations. Driving many miles to see them, give DS10 some time with them and am greatly enjoying the JOURNEY. Each day is taking care of itself. I'm able to say "No" without guilt, make connections and move on.
Yesterday DS10 and I slept in late, played games, explored the local mall together and ate a late lunch before a short visit at my daughter's house to say good-bye to her and her family. I'm no longer going to stay around places where ACTIONS show I'm not wanted. Life is meant to be LIVED, not suffered through.
Keeping up my support network while traveling, as I've gotten very used to doing. Alanon, Grief support meeting and an open AA meeting so far this week.
I'm recognizing I'm going through a lot of intense healing right now. That this needs priority.
Today has started with smiles, laughter and relaxation time for DS10 and I. We're back in another city we feel quite at home at and have holiday events we're going to here today. We've been ombining learning with fun... and the holidays keep bringing many more opportunities to do this!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Very inspiring post. It sounds like you're reaching acceptance of others which for me is the pathway to healing and letting go. In early recovery my sponsor said "let go or be dragged", very sage advice for one who instinctively wants to control people, places and things. It comes down to take the action, the feelings will follow. A counter intuitive process that yields amazing results.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Exactly. Very counter-intuitive!
Making the most of each of these beautiful days, and in THIS I now have wonderful memories to enjoy, and am able to feel and release any new or old hurts that happen on by.... Giving much more focus to enjoying life and being a part of life.
Making the most of each of these beautiful days, and in THIS I now have wonderful memories to enjoy, and am able to feel and release any new or old hurts that happen on by.... Giving much more focus to enjoying life and being a part of life.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Ughhh!!! I'm having a severe rebound reaction today. The only consolation is knowing these feelings are normal, taking the day one moment at a time, and trusting tomorrow will be better.
I feel abandoned by my family. By my husband, in his illness. By our adult children, who are close to both him and my parents... who are very psychologically abusive to me.
Onward ho! One day at a time. I have had a bunch of playtime today, by myself and with DS10, and I'm very thankful for this, for healing space... for not needing all the answers right now.
I feel abandoned by my family. By my husband, in his illness. By our adult children, who are close to both him and my parents... who are very psychologically abusive to me.
Onward ho! One day at a time. I have had a bunch of playtime today, by myself and with DS10, and I'm very thankful for this, for healing space... for not needing all the answers right now.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
It doesn't matter WHY this "no contact" has come about, what matters is this day and my recovery.
I've found my voice... I've created boundaries and enforced them.
So I'll keep taking this One day at a time. We've been through much worse while clinging together.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
