Nice things I am doing for me today.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
This is a lovely thread 
I have had it brought to my attention recently, a kinder way to speak to myself. (thanks, Obladi
) I always say to my friends "if you wouldn't say it to a friend then don't say it to yourself." But, I forget....that applies to me, too!
So kinder self talk and a trip to the Island to see my beloved kindred spirit ♥
I deserve it
I have had it brought to my attention recently, a kinder way to speak to myself. (thanks, Obladi
) I always say to my friends "if you wouldn't say it to a friend then don't say it to yourself." But, I forget....that applies to me, too!So kinder self talk and a trip to the Island to see my beloved kindred spirit ♥
I deserve it
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I am SO glad I stuck to my guns. I spoke to lot of lovely friends and was able to relax, enjoy the pianist while I had a cream tea (scone, jam, and cream with a cup of tea) without feeling the need to mke sure he was okay or rush off before he got too spikey.
On the down side I realised that my car MOT was due a week ago. I am being kind to myself by not beating myself up about the oversight and calmly planning the back to school using public transport situation as best I can - it will be FINE. I am not going to get stressed about this. No problemo!! BB
On the down side I realised that my car MOT was due a week ago. I am being kind to myself by not beating myself up about the oversight and calmly planning the back to school using public transport situation as best I can - it will be FINE. I am not going to get stressed about this. No problemo!! BB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,009
Good on ya Berry Bean.
When my shame, guilt, envy (and/or whatever yuck emotion) shows up, I say, "Hi there, come on in and tell me what you need to say. I probably have something to learn from you." I listen to all these feelings I just don't act on them.
So far today: 10 min of yoga, flossed and 10 min on the tread mill.
When my shame, guilt, envy (and/or whatever yuck emotion) shows up, I say, "Hi there, come on in and tell me what you need to say. I probably have something to learn from you." I listen to all these feelings I just don't act on them.
So far today: 10 min of yoga, flossed and 10 min on the tread mill.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
while kinda not a JUST ME thing - yesterday we have a brand spanking new refrigerator delivered!!! hank gave me complete free rein to pick it out (because he isn't a COMPLETE idiot) - i didn't even go look at one IRL, i just perused the online selection and made my choice. used ebates to get cash back, then my mileage card to get more miles as my daughter and i have a trip in the works to go to the 150th running of the Belmont next year!!!
AND I LOVE IT. yes i'm in love with an appliance. there's got to be a fetish group for that! black stainless, french doors, big bottom drawer freezer.
it matches the "new" stove we got a year (??) or so ago. world's slowest kitchen upgrade. LOL since we bought the house the dishwasher never worked, we've always hand washed.....but now i'm thinking........hmmm. plus research shows that with the newer d/w models you actually use more water hand washing.
hank currently says no, but i really don't see that as an impediment. considering who does 95% of the dishes.
because i have a crazy amount of vacation hours and we are at a slower pace at work right, i'm taking the next series of fridays off. and i need to plan for a week off - just a stay-cation, me, the house, the dogs. i want to pick up my Kon Marie process - i didn't exactly do it "all in one go" but did make a lot of progress. getting my house in order is really therapeutic for me. i like order, i like a place for everything and everything in it's place.
AND I LOVE IT. yes i'm in love with an appliance. there's got to be a fetish group for that! black stainless, french doors, big bottom drawer freezer.
it matches the "new" stove we got a year (??) or so ago. world's slowest kitchen upgrade. LOL since we bought the house the dishwasher never worked, we've always hand washed.....but now i'm thinking........hmmm. plus research shows that with the newer d/w models you actually use more water hand washing.
hank currently says no, but i really don't see that as an impediment. considering who does 95% of the dishes.
because i have a crazy amount of vacation hours and we are at a slower pace at work right, i'm taking the next series of fridays off. and i need to plan for a week off - just a stay-cation, me, the house, the dogs. i want to pick up my Kon Marie process - i didn't exactly do it "all in one go" but did make a lot of progress. getting my house in order is really therapeutic for me. i like order, i like a place for everything and everything in it's place.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
getting my house in order is really therapeutic for me. i like order, i like a place for everything and everything in it's place.
Not what I planned, but I am feeling very happy as progress (albeit slow, just like you, Anvil!) is being made.
PS Even though I am a girl, I still think burning stuff is fun!
ETA: Per the website, all the rules about days and times are still in effect but we no longer need to call for permission. All righty then!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Whacking is good.
Thanks for this thread, LeeJane.
I am enjoying doing nothing today.
Well, I showered, so that's something.
Plowing through a bunch of New Yorkers--magazines, not people--and hoping to make progress on "Grain Brain" by David Perlmutter, about those dastardly carbs that I just love.
Someone posted on this thread that they are at their target weight.
I am, too, but it's a moving target.
Peace and good thoughts, all.
Thanks for this thread, LeeJane.
I am enjoying doing nothing today.
Well, I showered, so that's something.
Plowing through a bunch of New Yorkers--magazines, not people--and hoping to make progress on "Grain Brain" by David Perlmutter, about those dastardly carbs that I just love.
Someone posted on this thread that they are at their target weight.
I am, too, but it's a moving target.
Peace and good thoughts, all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Boulder, Colorado
Posts: 22
Three day weekends caused me so much anxiety because in the past, it meant AH was going to pack A LOT of drinking into those three days and basically be a total terror. It was just miserable. And even though he's under court ordered sobriety right now, he's still finding ways to check out. It's a long story for another day, but the result is that he started today in full blown tantrum mode and I was just like "good luck with that, bro."
So I got my dogs out for a nice long walk this morning WITHOUT AH. Stopped into the salon and got myself a much needed manicure and even sprung for the paraffin treatment so it's so darn relaxing. Now I'm back home taking a break from deep cleaning my home (which is such therapeutic for me) and later this afternoon, I'm taking my dogs over to a friend's house so they can play with her pups and we can chat and have coffee.
I love what Berrybean said about not letting her day get hijacked. That's become my rallying cry for the weekend
So I got my dogs out for a nice long walk this morning WITHOUT AH. Stopped into the salon and got myself a much needed manicure and even sprung for the paraffin treatment so it's so darn relaxing. Now I'm back home taking a break from deep cleaning my home (which is such therapeutic for me) and later this afternoon, I'm taking my dogs over to a friend's house so they can play with her pups and we can chat and have coffee.
I love what Berrybean said about not letting her day get hijacked. That's become my rallying cry for the weekend
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 869
Yes about the weekend hijacking! I came very close when Abf wanted to see me for lunch today during our "weekend off". I caved yesterday and said maybe. Then today when I woke up I thought "what am I thinking?? I cannot see him and go backward". Before I had a chance to cancel he put on a disappearing act. He did the work for me.
So today I'm getting out of bed and enjoying my day with the pup, a ton of cold medicine and putting my makeup and dress on for a big Italian dinner out tonight with my best girlfriends.
So today I'm getting out of bed and enjoying my day with the pup, a ton of cold medicine and putting my makeup and dress on for a big Italian dinner out tonight with my best girlfriends.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Berrybean 
I am saying 'no' to drunk bloke tagging along with me to the church event that I've been looking forward to.
I need to keep reminding myself that this is a sane and considered decision:
1) He is barely sober
2) He is in sligtly drunk but trying to prove self sober by ranting at the TV mode
3) He's edgy because he doesn't (yet) know how he injured his leg last night
4) He doesn't know what to do with himself because he's trying to not start drinking til late afternoon
Thing is, ALL the above makes him bad company. If he comes with me he will be whiney and critical. He is not at all interested in the event, he just wants to be central to everything. so. NO!
No No No No No.
I will not allow my day to be hijacked.
I will not go into battle with my codependent streak on this one. I will listen to it and tell it that it is erronious in it's judgement.
Can you tell, I'm kinda struggling with this. Insanity isn't it!!
BB
I need to keep reminding myself that this is a sane and considered decision:
1) He is barely sober
2) He is in sligtly drunk but trying to prove self sober by ranting at the TV mode
3) He's edgy because he doesn't (yet) know how he injured his leg last night
4) He doesn't know what to do with himself because he's trying to not start drinking til late afternoon
Thing is, ALL the above makes him bad company. If he comes with me he will be whiney and critical. He is not at all interested in the event, he just wants to be central to everything. so. NO!
No No No No No.
I will not allow my day to be hijacked.
I will not go into battle with my codependent streak on this one. I will listen to it and tell it that it is erronious in it's judgement.
Can you tell, I'm kinda struggling with this. Insanity isn't it!!
BB
Horrible argument - he came home early (from what I understand after upsetting a couple of people with an objectionable view of his). He kept on asking what I think - told him it wasn't up for discussion. He kept on and on - moaning that now I don't drink and have 'turned into a puritan' I won't even talk to him. In the end I caved and told him just how objectionable his view is to me as well. Stupid idea because then it's just the ridiclousness off dancing from 'I'm so hurt' to 'you're intolerable since you stopped drinking'. Yeah yeah. I can kinda live with that. Told him if I'm intolerable maybe he'd be happier elsewhere. Think he thought I meant the pub because thats where he's stalked off to.
Bye Felicia.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
better he to the pub than you BB!
the more we change, the more that those who do not WANT to change will put up a fuss.
reclaim the day.
the more we change, the more that those who do not WANT to change will put up a fuss.
reclaim the day.
Just had a good natter with my AA bestie - ready to sleep now xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 665
Tipping with rain here today so snuggling down with lots of cups of tea and nice TV shows that I have recorded for myself.
AH having big old drinkie tantrum, have detached from that rubbish. It won't affect my day.
Have a good Sunday everyone.
On the issue of A's inviting themselves along. With my AH he resents and grumbles if he is not invited somewhere, equally he resents and grumbles if he is invited. He doesn't usually go along. He says he will but gets "ill" shortly before it's time to leave!
Transparent!
AH having big old drinkie tantrum, have detached from that rubbish. It won't affect my day.
Have a good Sunday everyone.
On the issue of A's inviting themselves along. With my AH he resents and grumbles if he is not invited somewhere, equally he resents and grumbles if he is invited. He doesn't usually go along. He says he will but gets "ill" shortly before it's time to leave!
Transparent!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
I am feeling the physical effects of my outdoor efforts yesterday, but the stiff/sore feeling is kind of enjoyable b/c I know I did some good work. It was pleasing to go out to walk the dogs today and see the changes I made. It often feels overwhelming--there is so much to do, and XAH and I didn't keep up w/things--but I'm making an effort to celebrate every project, no matter how teeny tiny, that is accomplished.
Today will do a little more outside, but EASY stuff, like cutting down peonies. I've got some beets, cabbage and carrots to freeze. For fun, I may take a trip to a nearby farmer's market that is open Sunday afternoons.
Hope everyone else is having a good weekend so far too!
Today will do a little more outside, but EASY stuff, like cutting down peonies. I've got some beets, cabbage and carrots to freeze. For fun, I may take a trip to a nearby farmer's market that is open Sunday afternoons.
Hope everyone else is having a good weekend so far too!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Berrybean...this is a little off topic, so I hope to be forgiven in advance.....
His references to you "turning into a Puritan" gave me a fit of laughter.
I remember, from a course that I was taking...the working definition of a Puritan was....."A person who fears that someone, somewhere might be having a good time"........lol......
I also think that you may have given him incomplete instruction.....
You might have said----that, if he was so unsatisfied, he should go elsewhere....AND STAY THERE, FOREVER.......
His references to you "turning into a Puritan" gave me a fit of laughter.
I remember, from a course that I was taking...the working definition of a Puritan was....."A person who fears that someone, somewhere might be having a good time"........lol......
I also think that you may have given him incomplete instruction.....
You might have said----that, if he was so unsatisfied, he should go elsewhere....AND STAY THERE, FOREVER.......
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