WHYOWHY

HI Jen - Well.....I guess I am not the ONLY one who is married to a relative of your husband.
Reading what others shared with you has helped ME too.....
I hope that finding this site..will be just the START of turning your LIFE into something that resembles a LIFE....
It did for me!!!!!!!!
I met my husband 14 years ago . We lived in a big city in Calif. ..back then.
About a month into the realtionship....I reAlized that he had a "beer drinking problem"
So...I sat him down and explained in VERY clear terms..that I DID NOT WANT TO GET SERIOUS WITH HIM IF HE DID.INDEED..HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM.
Well ...he assured me that he did not & he quit that day......and remained sober for the NEXT 8 YEARS!!!!!!!
About 5 years ago....we did the "Green Acres" thing & moved to a small town in Maine.
That is when he started to drink again.
I actually didn't catch on for a few years (I have no idea why)......but like I said before......he is a "sneaky drinker" and I never saw him take a sip.
It was not untill I went into the barn/garage/workroom ...one day about 2 years ago..........that I realized he had started again.......
After that...it was a roller coaster hell ride & I got caught up in a sick cycle of searching for his beer ......questioning him about his drinking......crying ...yeling ......trying to make him feel guilty ......berating him & basically creating a horrible existance for myself.
I mean.....when I look back on those really "dark days"........I cannot belive I participated in his "disease" for so long.
It is the worst kind of hell.
Being totally focused / obseesed with HIS drinking ..... Trying desperatly to convince him that he HAS a problem & needs to stop.....while ...he denies having a problem..........and all the while that this is going on.......you realize that you are in control of NOTHING........
It is so sad & such a pitiful way to live one's life.

I "saw the light" about a month ago.......and my life is starting to feel like a "life" for the first time in years.
I started going to AL-anon ...went on a major diet & started going out and interacting with people.
I .. just like you....have my own "at home business"
I had also isolated myself from the world .........
It is scary just how thrilled I am to converse with the lady that takes my packages at the Post office (she has no idea that she is my "best friend"!)

My husband NEVER wanted to go anywhere or do anything ..except drink his "beer that did not exist"....and play "Warrior type gothic video games" on the computer.
No.....dinners at the table....no "adult " conversations....No friends........no fun ...no "naked -twister games with the neighbors" (just kidding about the twister games)
It basically sucked for me.........but I let it go on...and on...and on....while I waited for HIM to change
While waiting for this big change in him......I "dealt with the last few years by over eating ....and watching alot of reality shows on television (I could probably get a job as a forensic pathologist.....as I am now an expert thanks to "Court T.V!)
I hated him... hated my life....and felt "numb" to just about everything.............
Then about a month ago......the lightbulb went on...........
I started working on myself.......and left his drunken ass in the dust......sitting at home & playing his stupid video game........
I started changing MY OWN life............and in doing so..........I have started to find ME again....
We still live together.........and actually he started going to AA about 8 days ago & has not taken a drink in 8 days as well...
But...believe it or not....that "good news" is not what it would have meant to me 6 months ago.
Now.... the MOST important thing in my life is not HIM & HIS drinking (or not drinking)
THe MOST important thing in my life...IS MY LIFE....and what I am doing with it.
DOn't get me wrong here....I am THRILLED that he is seeking sobriety & I hope he makes it.............
But I am starting to believe & to really understand....that MY happiness and well being....do not have to be determined by his drinking(or not drinking)
I am in control now.....
If I choose to stay in the marraige.....I am choosing to do so because I WANT TO.........
If I choose to leave....it will be with a good attitude about my future......I won't be slinking away.....a broken confused woman....filled with regrets , doubts and fears
I have VOWED to become independent of his mess.......and to be the kind of person that loves life & lives it..........with ME in the drivers seat.

I am just starting this "new" way of being....and believe me...there are many days when I don't belive I can do it......

But ....I AM trying...and it seems to be working..........

Don't give in or give up Jen.....once you start to "raise your level of conciousness".....things will start making more sense & you will be able to see things much more clearly.......

Just keep working on YOU.........

"WHY"

sdp

My husband is also a "Beeraholic".. Howevr, he is different than some of these guys..

See, he is NOT an alcoholic. To be an alcoholic one must:

Drink alone ( he is ALWAYS drinking with friends, NEVER alone- altho these driking bouts may go on for like 2 days)

Alcoholics must also hide bottles (He NEVER hides things- see social drining above) Thankfully, he never does drink at home. He is also gone A LOT!!!

In his mind, he is not an alcoholic, as he does not do these things.. He has only peed the bed once, a long time ago. What I hate are the middle of the night talking jags..

Pony

Yep, Jen, you are not alone. It's truely not a laughing matter, but as I was reading through some of these replies....I found myself chuckling....because I can sooooo relate !!!

My SO can and has drank more that an 18 pack a night !!! He has recently graduated to mixing the beer with Clamato juice...some recipe he got from the guys he works with. So at first when he started this, he drank less a night, but has graduated to using more beer in his mixture...so now is really drinking more. But does he think he is...of course not. lol

I am grateful that he has always made it to the tiolet though I have also found some missed spots......and him alseep on it! I have also awoken in the middle of the night, wonder out to the kitchen for some water and found him passed out on the floor in the living room and even in the kitchen. I do not clean up after him, unless it posses an icky health problem for me.....you know like on the tiolet or something!

Jen, I understand your embarressment about neighbors seeing him with a can in hand all the time, but you can't hide it. It's like trying to deny who he is or what he does. That's his embarressment and you need to put it back on him.

I understand about what you say about having to be the one who stays sober to take care of things.....that's where I have been at. I call it me being the designated parent. Yes, I have a child with him also. But she is his, and the only difference that I can see is that he is really a great father even when he is drinking. Very good with her. Although recently he has done a few things that have not been normal for him to do towards her (nothing violent or anything like that) just things like staying up drinking too late the night before her soccer game and not being able to wake up enough to go....that was a first....but has not happened again. Sometimes he gets to involved with his computer and drinking and doesn't pay attention to what she is getting into......luckily she is pretty good and old enough not to need to be watched every second.

Anway, these guys are pretty much going to do what they want to do. Mine does addmit that he drinks way too much, but also ways that he's not going to change it unless he feels he wants to. He does go through periods where he doesn't drink....sometimes it's days, sometimes it's weeks. The last time it was about 6 months where he maintained his drinking....not that he didn't drink at all, but that he keep it down to a minimum when he did have one. It was nice to not have a active drunk, but I still had a dry drunk in my home. Which has it's own issues.

I've been together with this man for almost 9 yrs. now and in the course of this nine years I ahve learned that I cannot change him. All I can do is change my own behaviors and attitude on and about how I do things in my life. You have to make a decision. Not really about whether or not to leave, but how you are going to go about things. You have to live your life and your daughter needs to live her life and do the things that kids do with or without him.

Yes, alcoholics can go to alanon meeting !!! And if you are wanting to go, I would suggest that you do go. You can learn alot about how to take back yourself and not get lost in his drinking. You cannot control how much he drinks or if he drinks. he hides it in the garage because you have already given your disapproval about his drinking. You mark his cans.....or count them.....you could be using that time for yourself.....or your daughter. Get involved in something else that you both enjoy doing and go on with living.

Eventually you will need to decide what it is that is keeping you there with him....earlier I read where you knew this was not the guy for you....and also I read that your daughter is not his, and he doesn't act like a father to her either....so my question would be.....What is holding you there?? Is it financial? If so then make a plan to get independant from him in that respects and then go from there!

Well, just know that you are not alone, but only you can change your own surroundings and how you handle things at hand. I am still in learning process myself on many issues of my life....it's an ongoing process as challanges come about.

Take care of yourself and your daughter.....

brightlight

Oh yes! Beer is his life. He was only going to the bar for one pitcher and that was 5:30 right after work. At 9 he comes back and got the bank card and I said you already spent $10 and going back! He said I bought a pack of cigarettes and I owned somebody for a pitcher. The kids and I went to bed at 10 and I tried to sleep, but kept waking up. I heard the phone ring at 1 in the morning and thought at least he cannot be getting a ticket for DUI because he walked across the street. He left a message on the machine and said he was walking home. Today I looked at the bank account and he spent $13 more. He said he went with one of the buddies to the other bar and the other guy would not leave, so he walked back. I do not belive that he drank 5 pitchers of beer, but hey! LOL WHO CARES! He was out in the cold, missed supper AGAIN, walked several miles, and has so much energy to stay out for 8 hours from the house that I made him chop some firewood this morning. LOL He is in big trouble now. I am going to the bank and take all the money out. I am giving my brother all the credit cards to keep and he bought a pack of cigarettes last night and has 2 left. I said TOO BAD! You are not getting a dime and if you think you are going to spend money like this you better go get some tobacco and start rolling yours because the big name brand is OVER! We could not even take our son to the dentist this week because of not enough money. He needs fillings and a crown on one side and then more work on the other side. Just unreal!

gelfling

Morning Jen,

I hope you got some sleep last night.

I'm going to give you some information that might be helpful. As they say in alanon, "Take what you want and leave the rest."

You don't hate your husband, you hate the disease. Unfortunately, there are times when the disease has so warped our senses that we do feel that we hate the A. I'm on and off with my husband. He's a part-time dry-drunk. Everything is fine and I love him to death, but if he gets nasty or mouthy, I hate him and I wonder why I ever stayed with him.

How you got "stuck with this guy." You answered that yourself when you said that you were an alcoholic. That's why you saw the signs and ignored them. Don't ever think that you've ruined your or her life. There's no stopping you from starting today in creating a relationship that will be happy and wholesome.

In regard to your admission of being an alcoholic and getting over it. This is going to be harsh...Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. You don't get over it, or get cured. You will constantly be recovering. My aunt had the same claim as you and her life consisted of drunk, sober, drunk, sober, drunk, drunk, drunk. Sort of like me when I diet. Skinny, fat, skinny, fat, skinny, fat, fat, fat. The best suggestion I can make to you is to get to AA meetings as well as alanon. In my group, there 3 recovering AA's who come there because of loved ones. For your benefit and that of your daughters, learn all you can about the disease and how it has affected you personally, as well as your daughter. The immediate focus needs to be on you. Especially with the claim of alcoholism. There are also meetings for young children. Please find them for her. She also needs the education.

Statistically...1 parent an alcoholic, kid has a 40% chance of being one...2 parents, there's an 85% chance.

With this disease and others, there is no easy way out. Or a quick fix. It angers me, especially with my son that I can't give him a pill that will make him better and the idea or thought of alcoholism is forever gone from his mind and body. I've damned this disease with a vengeance like no other. This is my only child. I constantly fear for his life and safety. This is where I try like hell to use detachment, but when it's a life that came from your womb, detaching from the most precious gift God gave me is so hard.

At times like this, I feel like the worse mother in the world because of the steps I must take to keep my sanity and help him accept responsibility for his actions. I'm a mama. I want to help my baby. But I can't.

Ignore hubby. Focus on yourself first. Get to AA meetings and alanon meetings. Share your story with others there. You'll get a shock to find many others in a similar situation. Then start working with your daughter and get her to meetings. I did none of this things and it has come back to haunt me. With my son's alcoholism. I never took the time to get him to meetings so he could learn all about the "curse" and how he could live a good healthy life without the booze.

Stand strong and keep the faith.

Blessings, Kathy

Blondie

Yes, I'm married to a "beeraholic". I can TOTALLY identify with the urine on the rug (my husband said our 6 month old did it, but he was in diapers and I can tell the smell of ADULT urine with beer in it). Plus AH has "wet the bed" a few times after an "evening out". Mine wouldn't hide it, he just starting calling beer his "adult beverage" like it was tea or something. He got worse and worse and drank more and more beer. He went through a 96 pack in just three days!

I tried to confront him about the excessive drinking many times, but he thought I was "a nut". Even after his first DUI he thought I was crazy for saying he needed help because "all it is is beer." It was frustrating! I fell into a deep depression because of it all and finally went to counseling and then to al-anon. I attended behind his back because the church counselor we BOTH went to see a month prior was labeled a "nut and a wacko" by him and he would not let up on me until I stopped seeing her. Fast forward a few years to now--I have detached and am doing a lot better (though after his recent near fatal accident, and thus, 2nd DUI, I kind of recycled, but now I'm back on my program and doing great).

Just a side note. Alcoholics do not think logically. My husband knows a guy who actually considered moving to Russia because he HEARD that in Russia beer is not considered an alcoholic beverage (now, I don't know if that's true, but this guy believed it). So this alcoholic friend of my AH figured that if he moved to Russia, he wouldn't be an alcoholic and he could drink all of the beer he wanted and everything would be fine. No problem, right? Is that logical thinking???

JessicaNAJ

Jen, I can related to your entire post - let me start by telling you that you are not the only one who has cleaned **** up off the bathroom floor. They say don't drink and drive and their is a reason for that, I guess it would be hard to hit that hole in the toilet... lol

I too used to keep repeating the same ole same ole about his drinking, blah blah blah. I've learned though, that I am wasting my time and energy. I've learned not to repeat the same old conversation. I have more important things to worry about and my time can be better spent on something else.

We've all checked up on our spouse and tried to "Catch" them lying about their drinking.... your not alone by a long shot. I think you will find a lot of good advice here to help you deal with your AH.

velma929

Jen, I can relate, too. When AH comes in this evening, he'll be staggering around, slurring his words, and insisting that it's because he's "tired." Every TV show reminds him of his year in southeast Asia- It's not that I don't have sympathy for that, but -Geez, Louise!- all he's done about that is drink himself into a stupor every night for the last twenty years. As that famous doctor on TV asks, "How's that working for ya?" He can't carry on a conversation, and if he does manage, by tomorrow morning he 'll have no memory of it. If I try to watch tv, (remember, it's not possible for him, ) he'll make random comments about various thoughts he's had during the day. Not a conversation, mind you. "Alex's father worked for the FBI." ....."Jim's putting in for retirement."...

He used to pride himself on being a "functional alcoholic," but lost his job this past spring, after being on probation at his job. I suppose going to work around 9 or so in the morning, and leaving by 2:30 or three had something to do with it. (cause he's hungover in the am, see, and he couldn't wait to start again in the afternoon)

His mood is unpredictable, to the point where some of our friends avoid coming by. Before he lost his job, a young woman friend used to come by and help him with yard work to earn a little extra money. She stopped because she was afraid she'd see him get hurt while he was working, drunk, and got tired of being around him while he was drunk. One of our other friends called a couple months later and asked about his drinking. After chatting, I asked what prompted the call. OUr friend said, "Well, I was talking to "Jane" the other night. And she said she stopped working over there because of AH's drinking." Well, that's not surprizing. then he said, "Yeah, it kind of freaked her and her family out when AH called her house, and insisted on talking to her, and at seven o' clock at night he was slurring his speech so much they could barely understand him."

I've pretty much stopped gardening, since that effort is wasted. I could spend the better part of the summer pruning a bush into perfect form, only to have AH chop it down to the ground. "It needed pruning," " It was in the way while I was mowing," "Sorry, I didn't know it was anything special." He mows newly planted ground cover and pulls up new plants, too. It isn't that he hate shrubs, specifically.

So, by my computer, it's 5 pm, and AH is already slurring his words. But I have a sewing room to retreat to, so I can close the door, sew while "American Dreams" is on, and generally keep to myself till he staggers off to bed.

but he's not an alcoholic because, all together now, "it's only beer."

ZionLion127

Jen I have a BEERaholic spouse.
YOu should of seen the way he was beating down the beer cart
at the "Nam Jam" just waiting for it to open...
Do any of you look at something like that and think, "gee, I wish he took that much
interest in me?

Jen!

How funny, I tell my AH all the time, " I wish I were that beer " , all the time; if they would put their attention into us the way they do their beer, wouldn't we be happy!!WOW what a relationship we would have, but no, I'm convinced he'll never change. My turn to change, and get my concentration on off him. And when the word counselor comes up, ah, I don't want to go, they'll just tell me I need to quit drinking. Well, DUH!!!!

Cadence57

Hi Jen

I've been reading this thread with great interest!! Here I've been calling my Abf an alcoholic (and of course, he's been denying) and now I come to find out that he ISN'T an alcoholic at all ("it's only beer" - the great American ADULT soda pop)... No wonder I can't get through to him :banghead:

My A is a VERY high functioning BEERaoholic - he rarely gets so drunk that, if you don't know him really well, you couldn't tell (mind you, that means 12 beers or so) but, yes, he has a beer in hand from about 3 or 4 PM on, and he drinks 6-12 beers every day. He's "only" gotten one DUI (that I know of). Never lost a job because of his drinking (that I know of) and never wet the bed (that I know of). We've been together for 19 months and it took me 10 months to figure that beer MIGHT be a problem - another three months to decide that, yes, it is a problem and the past six months listening to him quack about... sigh... everything. I have a post in here, somewhere, outlining a story about an affair - the story of "He," "She" and "the Lover" and in this post I layed out the story of us and... HER -- the beer.

We met online - I made it very clear that I didn't want to date a drinker and he replied saying he wasn't a drinker... It seemed like a perfect match from the get-go... Enough in common to get along and enough differences to keep it interesting. He's incredibly charming and witty - made me laugh - he's sensitive, caring, attentive... just a wonderful guy. Slowly but surely he broke me in to the fact that he did, indeed drink but... it was just "one or two" (that I saw). Having been "overly sensitive" to others' drinking all of my life, I made a conscious decision to NOT let it bother me. Sometimes he would be noticibly drunk ("tired"), beligerent (in a bad mood)... you name it but NEVER drunk (quack).

Fortunately, we are not married. We currently live 2000 miles apart but are "still together" He wants me to move out there with him and I refuse until such a time when I can be confident that he has not only quit, but he has gotten help as well (ie: AA). Just last week, when I WASN'T angry or hurt or... anything... I told him (again) that I will not move anywhere as long as he's drinking. I told him that I deliberately chose *this* moment to say something because I wasn't angry and I wanted to make sure he understood. He said he qu(ack)it drinking (again) last week . Because he is SO highly functioning, even when drunk, it's hard to always tell when he's been drinking but, so far, it sounds like he's been sober.

I'm sorta forced to let go because of the distance - I can't be there to baby sit and check up on him so I have to rely on my instincts and ignore his quacking... it's not easy. It's not my nature to NOT trust someone I love, but I find myself finally learning to take everything with a grain of salt and a "show me" attitude. In the meantime, I'm moving on with MY life. I'm not looking to date but I wouldn't turn a date down. I have no doubt that he will get drunk again and I will be able to tell and that will be the end. He knows that there will be no more "chances" - I'm at the end of my rope and I am letting go.

This forum has been a God-send for me. Some things in here, like your post, actually HURT to read. It hurts that so many people are living with/married to alcoholics. It saddens me that there is a need for a forum like this. The disease makes me angry - the denial, the lying, the wasted lives... it angers me to no end yet... so many of us choose to stay. Seeing what you all go through - the endless stream of lies and let-downs... I am determined to NOT end up in that boat.

Hang in there - by being here you've taken the first step at changing something you CAN change --- yourself.

Gracey

I am right there with you......mine is a beeraholic too........he never did hide though....but he confesses that it is his first love........

matters

Hello Jen and Welcome!!!!

I have been gone for awhile. I went to visit my Mom back east and while I was there I went to a used book store. I purchased CoDependent No More and Beyond CoDependency. I am half way done with CoDependent No More and it is amazing how helpful it is!!! YES...my husband is one of the same!! As you can see we all share so much in common here. Please start taking care of YOURSELF JEN!!!!! Take the focus OFF of him. You CAN find happiness and contentment once more. I recommend reading this book sweetie.I so wish that I had found this wonderful place many years ago. It would have saved me so much grief!

Hugs and Prayers,
matters

Wolftrap40

I read your posts and can understand better what my ex-wife went through.

I'm a professor of English at a local university, and I taught high school English for fifteen years. I was married for fifteen years and have a wonderful ten-year old boy. I had a wonderful marriage for fifteen years, and then something happened.

I had been helping and working with a student who was experiencing girl and family problems. Finally, one day, he showed up in my class, pulled out a .45 and blew his brains out all over my shirt. I went into post-traumatic shock and started drinking for the first time since high school.

I drank hard and heavy every day, just like you people describe. I'd come home and drink until I could pass out. I ended up with two DUI's and divorced. I don't blame my wife at all.

What you people see is the product of alcoholism. You wonder why your spouse does it. You know, they themselves, most likely, don't know either. I only look back and from my point of view, I was so mad at God for allowing that to happen (yes, I'm a Christian) that I gave up on Him. I hated Him for allowing it to happen, especially in front of me. The voice of my conscience was so troubled that I'd do anything - ANYTHING - to silence it, and drinking worked best. I drank heavy for about three years every day.

Your spouse probably has a deep-rooted feeling of inadequacy to deal with, or make sense of, either the complexities or the boredoms of adult life. I'm dead serious. With men, a feeling comes on us around middle-age when we realize that we can't change the world. It is DEVASTATING. Women cannot understand this. It creeps into our soul more than our mind...sometimes our mind can't recognize it and won't admit it and refuses to acknowedge it. But the feeling is there. We can't change events on the news, our lives become routine and boring, our work becomes tedious...and drinking takes away the pain we can't identify. The mind has many ways of protecting itself, its sense of identity. It also blinds us to the seriousness of our own condition, and refuses to let us see how it affects others. If you ask them, they get angry or mad or say, "I don't know why I drink," and I'm willing to bet they really don't. Drinking blocks out the ability to see one's life objectively and practically. My wife would say, "Why are you doing this? Is it ________'s suicide? You should know that's not your fault." I would say, "Yeah, I know it wasn't my fault." But I just didn't BELIEVE it. I think, if we get to the point of drinking every night, no matter who it is, there is a HUGE feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. To a male who wants to be everything to everyone, the pain is so severe that we'll do anything to dodge it. Drinking allows one to dodge nearly everything.

I was never, ever abusive when I drank. I just drank to forget that I wasn't God. I was a helpless mortal doomed to life's ramifications. One of those insists that we realize we can't "save" everyone.

I'm in recovery now, sometimes I relapse, but I live alone with my blue heeler dog, see my son three times a week, and I spoil him to death. We play online Halo 3 as much as possible. He's ten, I'm 44, and he can beat me about every other game.

Good luck peeps.

Best wishes to you all around.

denny57

Actually, yes, I can.

This is a very old post, but interesting to read.

Wolftrap40

Thank you, now that I read my post back again I realize that was a sexist comment. I'm sorry, I don't understand women that well. I married my high school sweetheart so I don't know them enough to speak for them. I apologize.

Lilyflower

Jen,

I apologise for being late to this thread and want to welcome you to SR! This is a great place for learning about and exploring YOURSELF. I have learnt that I cannot change my abf but I can change ME. Healing begins from within. Your AH hasn't learnt that yet, but you can begin now.

It may sound strange that I am suggesting that you reflect on yourself and that perhaps you need to work on yourself, but in truth this is the best way to re-centre ourselves and the best way to happiness.

Have you had a chance to read through the stickies here? I would also suggest you read through the threads posted by long term visitors to this site, who through lots of personal struggle and self awareness, are now living much happier and healthier lives. IMHO it is good to vent and to feel akin to others who are going through the same things as you are, but anger and hatred are self destructive and will not help you to progress to a happier/healthier existence.

I'm glad you are here and have this opportunity to begin this new journey

Lily xxxxxxxxx

shakarris

Jen as you can see you are far from alone... it is not the greatest finding this amazing group of people.

One thing that jumped out at me in one of your posts was how you are where you are financially and you do not want to go. If i may tell you a little about my situation, I was there- a year ago.. just where I hoped to be - now I struggle - he spends far more than he makes on entertainment - he now just drinks away his cheks leaving nothing but mine to pay all bills, mortgage, food etc..he does not care. All that matters is that he has beer ( yup mine too) in the fridge.

Please make sure you are putting away some money that he does not know about. I wish I had known where this disease was taking him -because
I sure would have started tucking away sooner and maybe saved myself some worries


keep strong
shakarris

Zak68

My wife started out the same way with heavy beer drinking. She would buy extra and switch them out in the fridge so I couldn't tell she had been drinking and then hide the empties in her car and pitch them in a dumpster behind the local gas station (followed her one morning and saw her do this).

When I quit drinking she turned to vodka, easy to hide in a water bottle, mix with pop/oj you name it. I would find bottles under her seat in the car, hidden in bags around the house, etc.

She also "assumes the position" by passing out on the couch with her mixed drink next to her. When she passes out I just walk over and pour it down the drain. Either she is too proud to confront me or just thinks she drank it all.

Hang in there. Do what's best for you and your daughter. While he may be cool sober that's not the man you have to live with daily it seems. I think many of us have to re-check our marriage licenses to see which we married Mr/Mrs Jeckle or Mr/Mrs Hyde.

Check out Alanon. It was the one thing I heard over and over on this site when I first sought help. I realized how can I complain about my wife not accepting help that was offered and then do the same when I was given help. =)

penneypoo

Yes, I too am married to a beeraholic, who has a growing beeraholic BELLY. Yuck, how unattractive is that??