Trying to practice self love
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Join Date: Apr 2017
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Trying to practice self love
I woke up this morning, and again just started crying, missing my AXBF and decided to call into work bc my pinched nerve in my neck has been acting up and I honestly just didn't feel like being around humans (I'm a hair stylist). So I went and ate at this magical Egyptian spot in my neighborhood, and then went and got two 90-minute acupressure massages, back to back. Yes folks, you read that correctly. I had my body rubbed down for 3 hours. I then went over to my best friends house and cried to her for an hour, and she reminded me that I have the biggest heart anf did everything I could for that miserable butthead.
Now I'm eating gas station donuts and passion fruit iced tea, laying in bed and watching Seinfeld.
I'm still so angry at the world and I miss my boyfriend so much... but i tried to make the best of this crappy day, and I think I somewhat succeeded.
For those of you hurting, god knows I'm hurting too; emotionally, physically and mentally.... but it's nice to know that you guys are somewhere out there, also.... and thanks for making me feel less pathetic.
Now I'm eating gas station donuts and passion fruit iced tea, laying in bed and watching Seinfeld.
I'm still so angry at the world and I miss my boyfriend so much... but i tried to make the best of this crappy day, and I think I somewhat succeeded.
For those of you hurting, god knows I'm hurting too; emotionally, physically and mentally.... but it's nice to know that you guys are somewhere out there, also.... and thanks for making me feel less pathetic.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 151
Originally Posted by loveandmagic 
I woke up this morning, and again just started crying, missing my AXBF and decided to call into work bc my pinched nerve in my neck has been acting up and I honestly just didn't feel like being around humans (I'm a hair stylist). So I went and ate at this magical Egyptian spot in my neighborhood, and then went and got two 90-minute acupressure massages, back to back. Yes folks, you read that correctly. I had my body rubbed down for 3 hours. I then went over to my best friends house and cried to her for an hour, and she reminded me that I have the biggest heart anf did everything I could for that miserable butthead.
Now I'm eating gas station donuts and passion fruit iced tea, laying in bed and watching Seinfeld.
I'm still so angry at the world and I miss my boyfriend so much... but i tried to make the best of this crappy day, and I think I somewhat succeeded.
For those of you hurting, god knows I'm hurting too; emotionally, physically and mentally.... but it's nice to know that you guys are somewhere out there, also.... and thanks for making me feel less pathetic.
Now I'm eating gas station donuts and passion fruit iced tea, laying in bed and watching Seinfeld.
I'm still so angry at the world and I miss my boyfriend so much... but i tried to make the best of this crappy day, and I think I somewhat succeeded.
For those of you hurting, god knows I'm hurting too; emotionally, physically and mentally.... but it's nice to know that you guys are somewhere out there, also.... and thanks for making me feel less pathetic.
You aren't pathetic. You are human and you are entitled to grieve a lost love.
Take care of yourself. Thoughts and hugs.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,010
Originally Posted by loveandmagic
I woke up this morning, and again just started crying, missing my AXBF and decided to call into work bc my pinched nerve in my neck has been acting up and I honestly just didn't feel like being around humans (I'm a hair stylist). So I went and ate at this magical Egyptian spot in my neighborhood, and then went and got two 90-minute acupressure massages, back to back. Yes folks, you read that correctly. I had my body rubbed down for 3 hours. I then went over to my best friends house and cried to her for an hour, and she reminded me that I have the biggest heart anf did everything I could for that miserable butthead.
Now I'm eating gas station donuts and passion fruit iced tea, laying in bed and watching Seinfeld.
I'm still so angry at the world and I miss my boyfriend so much... but i tried to make the best of this crappy day, and I think I somewhat succeeded.
For those of you hurting, god knows I'm hurting too; emotionally, physically and mentally.... but it's nice to know that you guys are somewhere out there, also.... and thanks for making me feel less pathetic.
Now I'm eating gas station donuts and passion fruit iced tea, laying in bed and watching Seinfeld.
I'm still so angry at the world and I miss my boyfriend so much... but i tried to make the best of this crappy day, and I think I somewhat succeeded.
For those of you hurting, god knows I'm hurting too; emotionally, physically and mentally.... but it's nice to know that you guys are somewhere out there, also.... and thanks for making me feel less pathetic.
Big congrats on giving the self-care thing your all
And you are not pathetic you are just normal . . . .argh . . . .big hug. We have all experienced some flavor of this off the wall grief.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Posts: 816
This is a great resource for self compassion that I love....
Definition and Three Elements of Self Compassion | Kristin Neff
Definition and Three Elements of Self Compassion | Kristin Neff
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Join Date: Apr 2017
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Originally Posted by mylifeismine
This is a great resource for self compassion that I love....
Definition and Three Elements of Self Compassion | Kristin Neff
Definition and Three Elements of Self Compassion | Kristin Neff
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
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loveandmagic, I found the most amazing massage/reiki person shortly after I'd filed for separation from XAH. I was just feeling so broken, lonesome and consumed w/sorrow, and I needed to be touched w/compassion and kindness. She was just the person I needed to find at the time.
I normally scheduled 1-hour appointments w/her, but after the first few, she would give me 2 or 2-1/2 hours for no additional cost (she is a solo practitioner and does not seem to have a jam-packed schedule, I think b/c what she does is not necessarily what most people looking for a massage are expecting). I scheduled a massage for the day XAH and I were going to court for the separation and I don't think I could have lived w/o seeing her. She is truly a healer, and she has helped me in my recovery in ways that only she could have.
Your self-care sounds totally appropriate to me! And the reading about self-compassion is wonderful; I will be saving this one.
I normally scheduled 1-hour appointments w/her, but after the first few, she would give me 2 or 2-1/2 hours for no additional cost (she is a solo practitioner and does not seem to have a jam-packed schedule, I think b/c what she does is not necessarily what most people looking for a massage are expecting). I scheduled a massage for the day XAH and I were going to court for the separation and I don't think I could have lived w/o seeing her. She is truly a healer, and she has helped me in my recovery in ways that only she could have.
Your self-care sounds totally appropriate to me! And the reading about self-compassion is wonderful; I will be saving this one.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
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Originally Posted by PhoenixJ
Empathy to you. I know about self-love but cannot feel it. ANYTHING that helps day by day- which is productive is good. Do you go to al-anon or support group stuff?
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^^^^ this made me laugh and cry LaM. Maybe you should write. You sure have the trick of specific detail down
Two massages back to back makes perfect sense.
When my ex-fiance broke up with me, my parents hosted a picnic in our backyard and invited close family and friends. We ordered a whole roast pig and named it after my ex.
Was it petty? Yep. Was it a little odd to throw a party to celebrate the demise of my relationship? Probably. But it was still a very beautiful day, and I was going to take what I could get.
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The Mighty website often has good pieces on mental health/addiction/illness and I just read this one yesterday -
https://themighty.com/2017/04/self-c...overy-secrets/
Lots of good ideas. Sounds like you did a good job at self care when you really needed it!
https://themighty.com/2017/04/self-c...overy-secrets/
Lots of good ideas. Sounds like you did a good job at self care when you really needed it!
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 63
Yes folks, you read that correctly. I had my body rubbed down for 3 hours.
This is definitely a step in the right direction on taking care of you. It is so hard I know but you seem to be doing as well as can be expected. Lots of hugs n love to you x
This is definitely a step in the right direction on taking care of you. It is so hard I know but you seem to be doing as well as can be expected. Lots of hugs n love to you x
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Hugs to you! I hope that today is a brighter day. When I was getting ready to leave my XAH and I was grieving the loss of our family and the plans we had made for the future, etc. I made sure to do a lot of self care. I got foot massages, pedicures, and tried to get a full body massage once a month or so if I could afford it. I honestly believe that doing just one thing for yourself everyday is so important to our own mental health.
I remember my old sponsor telling me, "Nothing is forever. Everything we are experiencing is temporary. Life will look different a year from now."
I needed to remind myself that in 6 months or 1 year or whatever, that my life would most likely be very different physically (maybe where I was living or where i was spending my free time, etc), emotionally (I would have grown and learned more about my own emotional health), and spiritually (I would have withstood another year of trials and tribulations and I would be practicing serenity and grace along the way).
Focus on you this week, focus on growing and learning, and let yourself grieve peacefully. Sending you lots of support today.
I remember my old sponsor telling me, "Nothing is forever. Everything we are experiencing is temporary. Life will look different a year from now."
I needed to remind myself that in 6 months or 1 year or whatever, that my life would most likely be very different physically (maybe where I was living or where i was spending my free time, etc), emotionally (I would have grown and learned more about my own emotional health), and spiritually (I would have withstood another year of trials and tribulations and I would be practicing serenity and grace along the way).
Focus on you this week, focus on growing and learning, and let yourself grieve peacefully. Sending you lots of support today.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
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Originally Posted by lizatola
Hugs to you! I hope that today is a brighter day. When I was getting ready to leave my XAH and I was grieving the loss of our family and the plans we had made for the future, etc. I made sure to do a lot of self care. I got foot massages, pedicures, and tried to get a full body massage once a month or so if I could afford it. I honestly believe that doing just one thing for yourself everyday is so important to our own mental health.
I remember my old sponsor telling me, "Nothing is forever. Everything we are experiencing is temporary. Life will look different a year from now."
I needed to remind myself that in 6 months or 1 year or whatever, that my life would most likely be very different physically (maybe where I was living or where i was spending my free time, etc), emotionally (I would have grown and learned more about my own emotional health), and spiritually (I would have withstood another year of trials and tribulations and I would be practicing serenity and grace along the way).
Focus on you this week, focus on growing and learning, and let yourself grieve peacefully. Sending you lots of support today.
I remember my old sponsor telling me, "Nothing is forever. Everything we are experiencing is temporary. Life will look different a year from now."
I needed to remind myself that in 6 months or 1 year or whatever, that my life would most likely be very different physically (maybe where I was living or where i was spending my free time, etc), emotionally (I would have grown and learned more about my own emotional health), and spiritually (I would have withstood another year of trials and tribulations and I would be practicing serenity and grace along the way).
Focus on you this week, focus on growing and learning, and let yourself grieve peacefully. Sending you lots of support today.
Thanks for the love
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 151
Originally Posted by loveandmagic
I'm desperately holding onto the idea that I won't feel this way forever. And I'm trying to convince myself that the person I love doesn't exist anymore.
Thanks for the love
Thanks for the love
I feel the same way. Today is a really rough one for me. I woke up with a panic attack this morning at 5:30.
I think it's because a week ago today at 6am I got the notice from police that she passed away
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