To Trust or Not to Trust that is MY Question
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by ngtta0630 
OK, it doesn't look like I'm responding to people correctly. How do I respond to an individual? I don't mind everyone reading what I say, but it makes no sense when I replay to one person and it showes up at the bottom of the remarks. Can someone explain how to do that correctly? :-/
I usually do it only when I want to highlight a specific part of the post, or when I'm replying to a specific post a ways back on the thread--if it's just a general reply, no need to do that.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 114
Hi there. You have found a great place to get information and find others going through similar situations. I do not know about how to respond to individuals unless you send it in a private message. I am very new here, as well.
I was told to purchase the book "why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft. It is a great book about angry men. I highly encourage you to purchase a copy or go to your local library and check it out. You will learn so much from that book. Please order it today and read it as soon as it comes in.
I was told to purchase the book "why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft. It is a great book about angry men. I highly encourage you to purchase a copy or go to your local library and check it out. You will learn so much from that book. Please order it today and read it as soon as it comes in.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Originally Posted by ngtta0630
IWhat I want is for him to change on a deeper level. I don't want all of him to change. Most of him is wonderful, but I want him to really dive in and fight the cause of his drinking. And.... most of all.... I want him to want it and to think his family is important enough to make a permanent change.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Originally Posted by ngtta0630
I don't think the classes are a wast of time, not from my perspective. I think there may be a lot to learn from those classes, and about himself. I don't feel like I can express that without him being upset and telling me "I'm doing what I'm supposed to. What else do you want?" What I want is for him to change on a deeper level. I don't want all of him to change. Most of him is wonderful, but I want him to really dive in and fight the cause of his drinking. And.... most of all.... I want him to want it and to think his family is important enough to make a permanent change.
It's pretty clear he's deadset in the "I don't have a problem" "I'm better than everyone else" mindset with no intentions to stop drinking.
I think you really need to take a serious look at this relationship.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
What I want is for him to change on a deeper level. I don't want all of him to change. Most of him is wonderful, but I want him to really dive in and fight the cause of his drinking. And.... most of all.... I want him to want it and to think his family is important enough to make a permanent change.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by ngtta0630
What I want is for him to change on a deeper level. I don't want all of him to change. Most of him is wonderful, but I want him to really dive in and fight the cause of his drinking. And.... most of all.... I want him to want it and to think his family is important enough to make a permanent change.
want in one hand and sh*t in the other-see which fills up first
????????
this selfish, self centered alcoholic didnt care what other people wanted from me- my care was what i wanted from other people.
i am 100% plwerless over people. i cant make them want what i want.
if i could everyone on the planet would be sending me one dollar because thats what i want them to do.
but thats not gonna happen.
so i accept that.
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