DesertEyes

Posts on this thread are to be supportive of Mlo1125 and nothing else. Any kind of side discussion will be removed. Take the cross-talk and hijacking somewhere else, not on this thread.

I have removed several posts that were not supportive.

Mike
Moderator, SR

amy55

Ml, how are you doing? Just know that I am thinking of you.

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
amy

PhoenixJ

Yes- very much so. I try to sleep when I can- mostly nana naps. I do all the stuff- mindful meditation (sometimes 3 or 4 times a day), journal, see a doc to monitor depression (with a-d's). Plus of course HALTS. I see the intense weariness after emotional intensity as a sign of growth- because I am actually putting energy and action into doing stuff I would historically drink my way through and experience crap emotions that also have to be faced. Hopefully for us, happier- or more restful times ahead.
Support to you, I get it. PJ

Morning Glory

Because it's a really hard thing to do. It will never feel good. It won't get easier. It's going to be hard at first.

This also makes it hard. This is the first time this has happened. Last week you were the best thing that ever happened to him and this week he threatened your life. This is why you feel distraught and so confused. We have conflicting feelings and conflicting thoughts. It's hard to focus and make decisions. On top of that, you just went through a traumatic event. This is why we need to listen to others who will keep us focused and point us to safety. Don't try to do this alone. It's too easy to go into denial when it gets too overwhelming to handle alone. It's really great that your brother is going to stay with you. Don't let locked doors give you a false sense of security. I've had broken windows before. A restraining order would give the police more power to follow through to keep you safe.

He physically attacked you and he showed no remorse when you told him about it. He put all the blame back on you. It's not your fault. There is a reason you didn't want to let him in the house. Taking your phone from you to prevent you from calling 911 is also against the law. An alcoholic with rage is a like a ticking time bomb. You just never know when it will go off.

I have been through what you are going through. Many of us have. You can see that we are all ok now. It hurts like hell at first, but you can do this. Can you financially make it without his support? Will you be able to support yourself and the kids?

LexieCat

Yes, one of the great things about protective orders is that it allows the police to do something before simple contact escalates to something more dangerous. It's much better to be able to have him removed when you see him on the street outside than when he's breaking down your door or shattering your windows.

One other thing, regarding support. Protective orders can include a support requirement--that he continue to support the kids, and you--to continue to pay the rent or mortgage, to pay utilities, etc. An advocate in your area can give you more details. Just something to keep in mind as you are weighing options.

Jaeger

Mlo,
How are you doing? I also suggest a protection from abuse order. You can file this yourself at the courthouse and usually get a ruling quickly. I myself have had to file one. This would get him out and protect you along with your kids. This would give you some time and space to decide what your next move should be. His actions are very scary. You are not alone....many of us have been through this.
Jaeger