Maudcat

I actually meant to say "caregiver," but caretaker works too. Might be more appropriate, given the givens.

dandylion

oldbro....Maudcat has a good point, here....It could be dangerous for him to stop drinking, cold turkey....it withdrawl symptoms are very painful and he could go into Dts....ir even worse....(I am a medica lprofessional, so I am very familiar with this)...
If you don't mind my suggestion---If it were me, I would drive him to the local hospital that has a detoxification unit....they will dry him out. then, the hospital social worker can take over for his after care plans.
You will have to tell the social worker that you will not allow him back into your house. (trust me, someone will call you and try to cajole you to take him back in)....
I would, then, take his belongings and put them in storage...and, pay for the first month of the rent...they will give you the second month for one dollar, in lots of cases. Then, change the locks or lock the doors.
Be sure to tall him that you love him and are praying for him...That you have turned him over to God.....

Hangnbyathread

If he is not drunk he is depressed. If he is drunk he is numb.

"who has steadily declined for decades."
He lives in my house.
He was fired from his job.
He does not work.
The area has limited job opportunities.
He has no money.
He has no car.
I don't know how but he still manages to drink.
He's deceptive.
It's stressful for those around him.

This is a sinking ship.

maia1234

Oldbro,

Not one person on this forum gives up on their addict, we always have hope. We come to this forum to empower ourselves not to enable our addict, we need to protect ourselves first. An addict posted on this forum not to long ago... "the best thing my ex-wife ever did, was kick me to the curb".

Understanding that an addict has to hit a real low before they truly seek sobriety. If you had a roof over your head, food on the table, heat and electricity, don't choose to work, would you seek sobriety? I am sorry for being so tough but his way of life is pretty good, besides his drinking. Have you ever read "Co-Dependent No More" ? I think this book would really be helpful to you in your situation.

Hugs my friend, we do understand, we all have enabled our addicts. What we learn here is how to treat a 58 year old man, with respect and dignity and let him find his own way and pray for him that he finds it.

honeypig

I just want to echo the previous post that mentioned that your brother is NOT, in fact, "struggling with addiction." He is engaged in it, he is active in it, but struggling? Not so much...

YOU are the one struggling w/his addiction. Yep, just like the rest of us here. Our A's didn't have a drinking problem--not at all! WE were the ones who had a problem w/their drinking.

I understand your concern, and I agree, it's natural to feel this way. However, when dealing with addictions, the "normal" world and the "normal" ways to behave get blown right out the window. If you haven't read this thread yet, please do: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

I also don't know how much time you've spent reading around the forum, but I hope you can do that, too--I think as you learn about alcoholism and as you see how much your brother has in common with other A's, you may begin to understand things differently.

You mean well, of course--and so did we all. But none of us can love our A into sobriety; it just doesn't work that way.