Melody Beattie Daily Reader
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January 22, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
Cultivate Inner Peace
According to my experience, the principal characteristic of genuine happiness is peace, inner peace.
— His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Cultivate a sense of peace, an abiding inner peace that doesn’t depend on outward circumstance.
So much chaos, so much drama, so many emotions surge through us. It is so easy, so tempting to believe that once we get through this circumstance, once we achieve this goal, once we solve this problem, then we will be peaceful.
That’s an illusion.
“I’m happy when I get what I want,” said Kent. “For a few minutes.”
Getting what we want may cause us to feel happy for a moment, but it will bring a limited, transient happiness. The next problem or emotion will present itself. Or we will begin resenting that person or job, because he, she, or it did not bring the happiness we believed it would. Like a carrot on a stick, happiness will always be the next problem, acquisition, or emotion away.
Be peaceful now.
Be happy now.
Take the limits off your joy.
God, help me remember to be peaceful first, no matter what situation I face.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
Cultivate Inner Peace
According to my experience, the principal characteristic of genuine happiness is peace, inner peace.
— His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Cultivate a sense of peace, an abiding inner peace that doesn’t depend on outward circumstance.
So much chaos, so much drama, so many emotions surge through us. It is so easy, so tempting to believe that once we get through this circumstance, once we achieve this goal, once we solve this problem, then we will be peaceful.
That’s an illusion.
“I’m happy when I get what I want,” said Kent. “For a few minutes.”
Getting what we want may cause us to feel happy for a moment, but it will bring a limited, transient happiness. The next problem or emotion will present itself. Or we will begin resenting that person or job, because he, she, or it did not bring the happiness we believed it would. Like a carrot on a stick, happiness will always be the next problem, acquisition, or emotion away.
Be peaceful now.
Be happy now.
Take the limits off your joy.
God, help me remember to be peaceful first, no matter what situation I face.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
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January 23, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
Letting Go of Worry
What if we knew for certain that everything we’re worried about today will work out fine?
What if . . . we had a guarantee that the problem bothering us would be worked out in the most perfect way, and at the best possible time? Furthermore, what if we knew that three years from now we’d be grateful for that problem, and its solution?
What if . . . we knew that even our worst fear would work out for the best?
What if . . . we had a guarantee that everything that’s happening, and has happened, in our life was meant to be, planned just for us, and in our best interest?
What if . . . we had a guarantee that the people we love are experiencing exactly what they need in order to become who they’re intended to become? Further, what if we had a guarantee that others can be responsible for themselves, and we don’t have to control or take responsibility for them?
What if . . . we knew the future was going to be good, and we would have an abundance of resources and guidance to handle whatever comes our way?
What if . . . we knew everything was okay, and we didn’t have to worry about a thing? What would we do then?
We’d be free to let go and enjoy life.
Today, I will know that I don’t have to worry about anything. If I do worry, I will do it with the understanding that I am choosing to worry, and it is not necessary.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
Letting Go of Worry
What if we knew for certain that everything we’re worried about today will work out fine?
What if . . . we had a guarantee that the problem bothering us would be worked out in the most perfect way, and at the best possible time? Furthermore, what if we knew that three years from now we’d be grateful for that problem, and its solution?
What if . . . we knew that even our worst fear would work out for the best?
What if . . . we had a guarantee that everything that’s happening, and has happened, in our life was meant to be, planned just for us, and in our best interest?
What if . . . we had a guarantee that the people we love are experiencing exactly what they need in order to become who they’re intended to become? Further, what if we had a guarantee that others can be responsible for themselves, and we don’t have to control or take responsibility for them?
What if . . . we knew the future was going to be good, and we would have an abundance of resources and guidance to handle whatever comes our way?
What if . . . we knew everything was okay, and we didn’t have to worry about a thing? What would we do then?
We’d be free to let go and enjoy life.
Today, I will know that I don’t have to worry about anything. If I do worry, I will do it with the understanding that I am choosing to worry, and it is not necessary.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
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You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
January 1, 2017
Don't Avoid the Void
I was sitting at dinner with a group of friends in a restaurant one evening. Everyone but one person was done eating. Feet were shuffling under the table. We were ready to go. One member of the group, an older woman, was picking at her meal. She had ordered dessert, but hadn’t eaten it yet. Instead, she slowly sipped her coffee.
“I don’t eat my dessert until I’ve finished coffee,” she said, when the waiter asked if he could take her plate.
All eyes at the table watched as she took a tiny sip, placed the cup down, and chattered, telling stories and jokes, making meaningless conversation. We watched eagerly as she started to pick her fork up to take a bite of dessert, then sighed quietly as she changed her mind, set the fork down, and began to tell another story.
She was alone, widowed, and her children lived in another state. It was obvious that she was trying to stretch dinner out with her friends as long as she could. She was trying to fill up that empty, silent place we call the void.
There’s a lot of talk in life and in this book about doing, achieving, and going for what we want. There’s much spurring on to activity that shouts, “Yes, I’m alive. And I’m fully and richly living my life the best I can.”
In all this busyness and living, there needs to be mindfulness and careful attention paid to another part of life, too. That part is the repetitive and natural cycle that some people call “the void.”
It’s an empty space in our lives.
The void can be a small space in our lives, lasting a few days or weeks. Or it can go on longer. That relationship has ended. We’re alone. We don’t know what to do next. Or that cycle in our lives has ended—maybe we’ve graduated from school or college, and we don’t know where to go next. Maybe our time as a parent has ended. Maybe someone we loved, a roommate or best friend, who was an important part of our lives, has moved away.
Don’t be afraid of the void. Postpone it for a while, if you must. Linger at dinner with friends, refusing to finish your dessert. As dark, cold, and empty as it feels, the void is a friendly place. Its rhythms are slower and often more confusing than other cycles in our lives, but the rhythms of this cycle are still there.
Remember those quiet times in your life, the ones you’ve gone through before, when one cycle has ended and another has not yet begun. Remind yourself when that void comes along that you don’t have to be frightened of it. It’s not the end. It’s only a creative and necessary pause, a cycle of its own, in the cycles and rhythms of life.
God, give me the courage to step into the void in my life with dignity, faith, and a sense of humor. Help me cherish the unknown as much as I enjoy activity and clarity.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie
January 1, 2017
Don't Avoid the Void
I was sitting at dinner with a group of friends in a restaurant one evening. Everyone but one person was done eating. Feet were shuffling under the table. We were ready to go. One member of the group, an older woman, was picking at her meal. She had ordered dessert, but hadn’t eaten it yet. Instead, she slowly sipped her coffee.
“I don’t eat my dessert until I’ve finished coffee,” she said, when the waiter asked if he could take her plate.
All eyes at the table watched as she took a tiny sip, placed the cup down, and chattered, telling stories and jokes, making meaningless conversation. We watched eagerly as she started to pick her fork up to take a bite of dessert, then sighed quietly as she changed her mind, set the fork down, and began to tell another story.
She was alone, widowed, and her children lived in another state. It was obvious that she was trying to stretch dinner out with her friends as long as she could. She was trying to fill up that empty, silent place we call the void.
There’s a lot of talk in life and in this book about doing, achieving, and going for what we want. There’s much spurring on to activity that shouts, “Yes, I’m alive. And I’m fully and richly living my life the best I can.”
In all this busyness and living, there needs to be mindfulness and careful attention paid to another part of life, too. That part is the repetitive and natural cycle that some people call “the void.”
It’s an empty space in our lives.
The void can be a small space in our lives, lasting a few days or weeks. Or it can go on longer. That relationship has ended. We’re alone. We don’t know what to do next. Or that cycle in our lives has ended—maybe we’ve graduated from school or college, and we don’t know where to go next. Maybe our time as a parent has ended. Maybe someone we loved, a roommate or best friend, who was an important part of our lives, has moved away.
Don’t be afraid of the void. Postpone it for a while, if you must. Linger at dinner with friends, refusing to finish your dessert. As dark, cold, and empty as it feels, the void is a friendly place. Its rhythms are slower and often more confusing than other cycles in our lives, but the rhythms of this cycle are still there.
Remember those quiet times in your life, the ones you’ve gone through before, when one cycle has ended and another has not yet begun. Remind yourself when that void comes along that you don’t have to be frightened of it. It’s not the end. It’s only a creative and necessary pause, a cycle of its own, in the cycles and rhythms of life.
God, give me the courage to step into the void in my life with dignity, faith, and a sense of humor. Help me cherish the unknown as much as I enjoy activity and clarity.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie
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January 24, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
Let Go of Resentments
Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they’re justified. They can dry up our hearts. They can sabotage our happiness. They can sabotage love.
Most of us have been at the receiving end of an injustice at some time in our lives. Most of us know someone who’s complained of an injustice we’ve done to him or her. Life can be a breeding ground for resentments, if we let it.
“Yes, but this time I really was wronged,” we complain.
Maybe you were. But harboring a resentment isn’t the solution. If it was, our resentment list would resemble the Los Angeles telephone directory. Deal with your feelings. Learn whatever lesson is at hand. Then let the feelings go.
Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They’re a form of revenge. The problem is, no matter who we’re resenting, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.
Take a moment. Search your heart. Have you tricked yourself into harboring a resentment? If you have, take another moment and let that resentment go.
God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
Let Go of Resentments
Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they’re justified. They can dry up our hearts. They can sabotage our happiness. They can sabotage love.
Most of us have been at the receiving end of an injustice at some time in our lives. Most of us know someone who’s complained of an injustice we’ve done to him or her. Life can be a breeding ground for resentments, if we let it.
“Yes, but this time I really was wronged,” we complain.
Maybe you were. But harboring a resentment isn’t the solution. If it was, our resentment list would resemble the Los Angeles telephone directory. Deal with your feelings. Learn whatever lesson is at hand. Then let the feelings go.
Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They’re a form of revenge. The problem is, no matter who we’re resenting, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.
Take a moment. Search your heart. Have you tricked yourself into harboring a resentment? If you have, take another moment and let that resentment go.
God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
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January 25, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
Gifts, Not Burdens
Children are gifts, if we accept them.
— Kathleen Turner Crilly
Children are gifts. Our children, if we have children, are a gift to us. We, as children, were gifts to our parents.
Sadly, many of us did not receive the message from our parents that we were gifts to them and to the Universe. Maybe our parents were in pain themselves; maybe our parents were looking to us to be their caretakers; maybe we came at a difficult time in their lives; maybe they had their own issues and simply were not able to enjoy, accept, and appreciate us for the gifts we are.
Many of us have a deep, sometimes subconscious, belief that we were and are a burden to the world and the people around us. This belief can block our ability to enjoy life and our relationships with others. This belief can even impair our relationship with a Higher Power: we may feel we are a burden to God.
If we have that belief, it is time to let it go.
We are not a burden. We never were. If we received that message from our parents, it is time to recognize that issue as theirs to resolve.
We have a right to treat ourselves as a gift—to ourselves, to others, and to the Universe.
We are here, and we have a right to be here.
Today I will treat myself as well as any children I have as though we are a gift. I will let go of any beliefs I have about being a burden—to my Higher Power, my friends, my family, or myself.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
Gifts, Not Burdens
Children are gifts, if we accept them.
— Kathleen Turner Crilly
Children are gifts. Our children, if we have children, are a gift to us. We, as children, were gifts to our parents.
Sadly, many of us did not receive the message from our parents that we were gifts to them and to the Universe. Maybe our parents were in pain themselves; maybe our parents were looking to us to be their caretakers; maybe we came at a difficult time in their lives; maybe they had their own issues and simply were not able to enjoy, accept, and appreciate us for the gifts we are.
Many of us have a deep, sometimes subconscious, belief that we were and are a burden to the world and the people around us. This belief can block our ability to enjoy life and our relationships with others. This belief can even impair our relationship with a Higher Power: we may feel we are a burden to God.
If we have that belief, it is time to let it go.
We are not a burden. We never were. If we received that message from our parents, it is time to recognize that issue as theirs to resolve.
We have a right to treat ourselves as a gift—to ourselves, to others, and to the Universe.
We are here, and we have a right to be here.
Today I will treat myself as well as any children I have as though we are a gift. I will let go of any beliefs I have about being a burden—to my Higher Power, my friends, my family, or myself.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
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January 26, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
Say "Whatever" With as Much Love as You Can
There’s an old story about compassion, detachment, and Mohammed, the prophet of Islam.
Mohammed had a neighbor who had a garbage problem. This neighbor was a cranky old man who let his garbage pile up and spill out all around his yard. The mess was unsightly, but Mohammed practiced tolerance and compassion. He didn’t say anything to the annoying neighbor for years.
One day, the unsightly mess from the garbage disappeared.
Mohammed went over to his neighbor’s house and knocked on the door. The neighbor answered the knock.
“I got worried when I didn’t see your garbage,” Mohammed said. “I was just checking to make sure you were all right.”
We need to set boundaries, be clear, and stand up for ourselves. We need to check regularly to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves. But once in a while, we also need to check to see if we’re allowing ourselves to become irritated and upset by nonessentials and forgetting the essential of love.
Learn to say "whatever", but learn to say it with as much compassion and love as you can.
God, help me learn to take care of myself and live with passion, compassion, and an open heart.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
Say "Whatever" With as Much Love as You Can
There’s an old story about compassion, detachment, and Mohammed, the prophet of Islam.
Mohammed had a neighbor who had a garbage problem. This neighbor was a cranky old man who let his garbage pile up and spill out all around his yard. The mess was unsightly, but Mohammed practiced tolerance and compassion. He didn’t say anything to the annoying neighbor for years.
One day, the unsightly mess from the garbage disappeared.
Mohammed went over to his neighbor’s house and knocked on the door. The neighbor answered the knock.
“I got worried when I didn’t see your garbage,” Mohammed said. “I was just checking to make sure you were all right.”
We need to set boundaries, be clear, and stand up for ourselves. We need to check regularly to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves. But once in a while, we also need to check to see if we’re allowing ourselves to become irritated and upset by nonessentials and forgetting the essential of love.
Learn to say "whatever", but learn to say it with as much compassion and love as you can.
God, help me learn to take care of myself and live with passion, compassion, and an open heart.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
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January 27, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
After-Burn
“How could I do it? How could I say it? Even though I meant it, I still feel ashamed, guilty, and afraid.”
This is a common reaction to new, exciting recovery behaviors. Anything to do with owning our power and taking care of ourselves can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, and fear.
We do not have to allow these feelings to control us. They’re a backlash. They’re after-burn. Let them burn out.
When we start confronting and attacking feelings and messages, we will experience some after-burn. The after-burn is what we allowed to control us all our life—shame and guilt.
Many of us grew up with shame-based messages that it wasn’t okay to take care of ourselves, be honest, be direct, and own our power with people. Many of us grew up with messages that it wasn’t okay to be who we were and resolve problems in relationships. Many of us grew up with the message that what we want and need isn’t okay.
Let it all burn off. We don’t have to take after-burn so seriously. We don’t let the after-burn convince us that we are wrong and don’t have a right to take care of ourselves and set boundaries.
Do we really have the right to take care of ourselves? Do we really have the right to set boundaries? Do we really have the right to be direct and say what we need to say?
You bet we do.
Today, I will let any after-burn which sets in after I practice a new recovery behavior burn off. I will not take it so seriously. God, help me let go of my shame and needless fears about what will happen to me if I really start caring for and loving myself.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
After-Burn
“How could I do it? How could I say it? Even though I meant it, I still feel ashamed, guilty, and afraid.”
This is a common reaction to new, exciting recovery behaviors. Anything to do with owning our power and taking care of ourselves can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, and fear.
We do not have to allow these feelings to control us. They’re a backlash. They’re after-burn. Let them burn out.
When we start confronting and attacking feelings and messages, we will experience some after-burn. The after-burn is what we allowed to control us all our life—shame and guilt.
Many of us grew up with shame-based messages that it wasn’t okay to take care of ourselves, be honest, be direct, and own our power with people. Many of us grew up with messages that it wasn’t okay to be who we were and resolve problems in relationships. Many of us grew up with the message that what we want and need isn’t okay.
Let it all burn off. We don’t have to take after-burn so seriously. We don’t let the after-burn convince us that we are wrong and don’t have a right to take care of ourselves and set boundaries.
Do we really have the right to take care of ourselves? Do we really have the right to set boundaries? Do we really have the right to be direct and say what we need to say?
You bet we do.
Today, I will let any after-burn which sets in after I practice a new recovery behavior burn off. I will not take it so seriously. God, help me let go of my shame and needless fears about what will happen to me if I really start caring for and loving myself.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
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January 28, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
Set Yourself Free
"I’ll let go tomorrow; I’m having too much fun torturing myself today." No, that’s not really it.
"I’ll let go tomorrow; the things I’m holding on to need me to hold them today." Yes, that’s closer to what it is.
"I’m not enjoying myself at all today, but I have to keep holding on to my desires, my guilt, my limitations, and my worries. I am defined by them. And you want me to let go of them today? Sorry, maybe tomorrow."
And so we hold on. And the ulcer grows. And the pain in our hearts from unfulfilled expectations keeps gnawing away at us. What we’re really putting off is the freedom we get from letting go.
Yes, I know that what you’re holding on to is important. Everything that I have ever had to let go of was important to me, too. If it wasn’t important, letting go wouldn’t be a struggle. We’d just put it down and walk away.
You’ve been given today. Will you use it or will you miss out on today’s wonder because you’re too preoccupied with holding on to things that are beyond your control?
God, help me let go today.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
Set Yourself Free
"I’ll let go tomorrow; I’m having too much fun torturing myself today." No, that’s not really it.
"I’ll let go tomorrow; the things I’m holding on to need me to hold them today." Yes, that’s closer to what it is.
"I’m not enjoying myself at all today, but I have to keep holding on to my desires, my guilt, my limitations, and my worries. I am defined by them. And you want me to let go of them today? Sorry, maybe tomorrow."
And so we hold on. And the ulcer grows. And the pain in our hearts from unfulfilled expectations keeps gnawing away at us. What we’re really putting off is the freedom we get from letting go.
Yes, I know that what you’re holding on to is important. Everything that I have ever had to let go of was important to me, too. If it wasn’t important, letting go wouldn’t be a struggle. We’d just put it down and walk away.
You’ve been given today. Will you use it or will you miss out on today’s wonder because you’re too preoccupied with holding on to things that are beyond your control?
God, help me let go today.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
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January 29, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
Balance
Seek balance.
Balance emotions with reason.
Combine detachment with doing our part.
Balance giving with receiving.
Alternate work with play, business with personal activities.
Balance tending to our spiritual needs with tending to our other needs.
Juggle responsibilities to others with responsibilities to ourselves.
Balance caring about others with caring about ourselves.
Whenever possible, let’s be good to others, but be good to ourselves too.
Some of us have to make up for lost time.
Today I will strive for balance.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
Balance
Seek balance.
Balance emotions with reason.
Combine detachment with doing our part.
Balance giving with receiving.
Alternate work with play, business with personal activities.
Balance tending to our spiritual needs with tending to our other needs.
Juggle responsibilities to others with responsibilities to ourselves.
Balance caring about others with caring about ourselves.
Whenever possible, let’s be good to others, but be good to ourselves too.
Some of us have to make up for lost time.
Today I will strive for balance.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
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January 30, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
The Basics: Day 1
“Isn’t everyone codependent?” a woman asked me.
“Maybe,” I said.
It is easy to get embroiled in other people’s dramas. Isn’t it even easier to see what other people need to do to take care of themselves, rather than tend to our own affairs? That’s when we need to remember the basics of taking care of ourselves.
These basics include comfortable living arrangements, enough sleep, proper nutrition and hygiene, social contact, fun or pleasure, taking responsibility for our own emotions, earning enough money to pay our bills, taking responsibility for our own goals and dreams, and saying no—sometimes to others and sometimes to our own impulses.
My daughter introduced me to a computer game recently. It’s a game where you create a city and get to rule the lives of the people in it. In this game, you get to decide where the people sleep, how much they sleep, when they eat, when they go to the bathroom, when they take a shower, whether they clean up after themselves, when they rest, whether they go to work so they can pay their bills and buy food, how much education they get, and how much they socialize. Kind of like playing God.
“You can make the people go crazy,” my daughter explained. “All you have to do is not let them get enough sleep.”
One of the meanings of “jaded” is being exhausted. Not getting enough sleep, not eating properly, not tending to our own emotions or our social needs can easily cause us to become jaded.
We can make ourselves feel crazy by not tending to the basics. It was tempting to torture the people in the game just to see how they reacted. Sometimes it’s tempting to torture ourselves.
Value: Whether we call it self-care, taking responsibility for ourselves, being good to ourselves, or practicing the basics, that’s the value we’ll explore this week.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
The Basics: Day 1
“Isn’t everyone codependent?” a woman asked me.
“Maybe,” I said.
It is easy to get embroiled in other people’s dramas. Isn’t it even easier to see what other people need to do to take care of themselves, rather than tend to our own affairs? That’s when we need to remember the basics of taking care of ourselves.
These basics include comfortable living arrangements, enough sleep, proper nutrition and hygiene, social contact, fun or pleasure, taking responsibility for our own emotions, earning enough money to pay our bills, taking responsibility for our own goals and dreams, and saying no—sometimes to others and sometimes to our own impulses.
My daughter introduced me to a computer game recently. It’s a game where you create a city and get to rule the lives of the people in it. In this game, you get to decide where the people sleep, how much they sleep, when they eat, when they go to the bathroom, when they take a shower, whether they clean up after themselves, when they rest, whether they go to work so they can pay their bills and buy food, how much education they get, and how much they socialize. Kind of like playing God.
“You can make the people go crazy,” my daughter explained. “All you have to do is not let them get enough sleep.”
One of the meanings of “jaded” is being exhausted. Not getting enough sleep, not eating properly, not tending to our own emotions or our social needs can easily cause us to become jaded.
We can make ourselves feel crazy by not tending to the basics. It was tempting to torture the people in the game just to see how they reacted. Sometimes it’s tempting to torture ourselves.
Value: Whether we call it self-care, taking responsibility for ourselves, being good to ourselves, or practicing the basics, that’s the value we’ll explore this week.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
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January 31, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
The Basics--Day 2
“I came from a crazy, neglectful family,” a woman said. “I was 52 years old and I didn’t know what it meant to take care of myself.”
Application: The basics apply every day. It may be particularly important to focus on the basics when we first get into recovery from addiction or codependency. For recovering people, the basics expand to include attending recovery meetings and not taking the first drink, drug, or pill.
In times of high stress, grief, loss, or change, applying the most basic of the basics may be the only thing we can do to survive.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
The Basics--Day 2
“I came from a crazy, neglectful family,” a woman said. “I was 52 years old and I didn’t know what it meant to take care of myself.”
Application: The basics apply every day. It may be particularly important to focus on the basics when we first get into recovery from addiction or codependency. For recovering people, the basics expand to include attending recovery meetings and not taking the first drink, drug, or pill.
In times of high stress, grief, loss, or change, applying the most basic of the basics may be the only thing we can do to survive.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
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February 1, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
The Basics: Day 3
It’s an interesting phenomenon. When I get so tired I can’t think or work, I refuse to go to sleep, try to work harder, then wonder why I can’t get anything done.
Challenge: The basics may seem like such simple solutions that we overlook how important they really are.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
The Basics: Day 3
It’s an interesting phenomenon. When I get so tired I can’t think or work, I refuse to go to sleep, try to work harder, then wonder why I can’t get anything done.
Challenge: The basics may seem like such simple solutions that we overlook how important they really are.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
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February 2, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
The Basics: Day 4
Alcoholics Anonymous uses the acronym HALT. It stands for not getting too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Do you need to remember to HALT?
Inventory Focus: In Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, people have basic needs. We won’t be able to focus on the higher needs, such as spirituality and creativity, until the primary needs are met. How are you doing with taking care of your basic needs: sleep, nutrition, emotions, socialization? Are you taking the time for personal hygiene and keeping your home clean? Are you taking responsibility for your basic finances? Do you need medical care?
Pay attention to how you feel when you tend to your basic needs. Pay attention to how you feel when you don’t. Which feeling do you like better? Most of us have times when we are deprived of a good night’s sleep or a meal, due to special circumstances. But if depriving ourselves of basic needs has become a way of life, maybe it’s time to get back to basics and stop torturing ourselves.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
The Basics: Day 4
Alcoholics Anonymous uses the acronym HALT. It stands for not getting too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Do you need to remember to HALT?
Inventory Focus: In Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, people have basic needs. We won’t be able to focus on the higher needs, such as spirituality and creativity, until the primary needs are met. How are you doing with taking care of your basic needs: sleep, nutrition, emotions, socialization? Are you taking the time for personal hygiene and keeping your home clean? Are you taking responsibility for your basic finances? Do you need medical care?
Pay attention to how you feel when you tend to your basic needs. Pay attention to how you feel when you don’t. Which feeling do you like better? Most of us have times when we are deprived of a good night’s sleep or a meal, due to special circumstances. But if depriving ourselves of basic needs has become a way of life, maybe it’s time to get back to basics and stop torturing ourselves.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
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February 3, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
The Basics--Day 5
“What are the rules for taking care of myself?” a woman asked me. I started to answer her by giving her a list, then I stopped myself. “The first rule is to learn to trust yourself.”
Action: Make a list of your basics, then check in and see whether you’re neglecting yourself in any area. When you’re uncertain, ask yourself what you need to do to take care of yourself, or ask your Higher Power. Then listen and act on what you hear. Sometimes what we most need to do is so obvious and simple we can’t see it. It may also be what we’re resisting the most.
Remember, if you’re going through deep grief or a time of intense change, you may need more sleep than usual.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
The Basics--Day 5
“What are the rules for taking care of myself?” a woman asked me. I started to answer her by giving her a list, then I stopped myself. “The first rule is to learn to trust yourself.”
Action: Make a list of your basics, then check in and see whether you’re neglecting yourself in any area. When you’re uncertain, ask yourself what you need to do to take care of yourself, or ask your Higher Power. Then listen and act on what you hear. Sometimes what we most need to do is so obvious and simple we can’t see it. It may also be what we’re resisting the most.
Remember, if you’re going through deep grief or a time of intense change, you may need more sleep than usual.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
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February 4, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
“My life changed when I stopped waiting for someone to rescue me and began taking responsibility for myself.” I haven’t heard this statement from just one person. I’ve heard it from thousands, including myself.
Gratitude Focus: We usually don’t have the power to control what’s going on around us, but we can be grateful that we always have the power to hunker down and take care of ourselves.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
“My life changed when I stopped waiting for someone to rescue me and began taking responsibility for myself.” I haven’t heard this statement from just one person. I’ve heard it from thousands, including myself.
Gratitude Focus: We usually don’t have the power to control what’s going on around us, but we can be grateful that we always have the power to hunker down and take care of ourselves.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
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You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
The Basics: Day 7
Imagine wearing an energy meter with three zones: green for safe, yellow for caution, red for danger. You’ve got a strip that reads each area of your life: nutrition, sleep, hygiene, emotions, fun, social interaction, and, if you’re in recovery, one for attending meetings.
As long as you stay in the green zone, you’re safe. When you get into the yellow zone, it’s time to pay careful attention. And once you get into the red zone, you could be in real danger. If your battery loses all its charge, you’ll be stopped in your tracks.
Keep yourself charged. It actually gets fun, this taking-care-of-ourselves business, once you get the hang of it.
Prayer: Thank you for promising to do for me what I cannot do for myself. Help me do my part. Help me remember to apply the basics, at least occasionally, with some tender loving care.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
The Basics: Day 7
Imagine wearing an energy meter with three zones: green for safe, yellow for caution, red for danger. You’ve got a strip that reads each area of your life: nutrition, sleep, hygiene, emotions, fun, social interaction, and, if you’re in recovery, one for attending meetings.
As long as you stay in the green zone, you’re safe. When you get into the yellow zone, it’s time to pay careful attention. And once you get into the red zone, you could be in real danger. If your battery loses all its charge, you’ll be stopped in your tracks.
Keep yourself charged. It actually gets fun, this taking-care-of-ourselves business, once you get the hang of it.
Prayer: Thank you for promising to do for me what I cannot do for myself. Help me do my part. Help me remember to apply the basics, at least occasionally, with some tender loving care.
From the book "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact."
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February 6, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
Let Go of Outcomes
Some of us get attached to outcomes. We think a project or a relationship has to go a certain way.
Sometimes we get so attached to the outcome of a thing, we don’t pay attention to how that thing feels. We may be so focused on marrying that person we’re dating, we forget to pay attention to whether we like him or her. We may be so interested in that book of photographs getting published and achieving fame that we can’t recollect if we have any passion for what we’re taking pictures of. We may be so focused on everyone congratulating us for a wonderful party that we forget to relax and have fun.
We’re putting in the effort. But we’re trying to control both the flow and the way the thing turns out.
“God is in the details,” a writing teacher once said.
What he was talking about was paying attention to each little detail in our writing: the color of the sky, the texture of the couch, the nuances of the feelings of the main character, the twinkle in her eye.
There’s another way to interpret this saying, though. And that’s to trust that God is present and interested in the details of our lives. Know what your dreams are and pay attention to what you want. But focus on the details of your life—how you feel each moment, the details of what you do. Don’t be so attached to outcomes that you forget how much fun it is to live.
Remember that God is in the details, especially in how things work out.
God, help me be clear with you and myself about what I want in life. Help me learn to be present for the details of each moment of each day, doing what I do with passion.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
Let Go of Outcomes
Some of us get attached to outcomes. We think a project or a relationship has to go a certain way.
Sometimes we get so attached to the outcome of a thing, we don’t pay attention to how that thing feels. We may be so focused on marrying that person we’re dating, we forget to pay attention to whether we like him or her. We may be so interested in that book of photographs getting published and achieving fame that we can’t recollect if we have any passion for what we’re taking pictures of. We may be so focused on everyone congratulating us for a wonderful party that we forget to relax and have fun.
We’re putting in the effort. But we’re trying to control both the flow and the way the thing turns out.
“God is in the details,” a writing teacher once said.
What he was talking about was paying attention to each little detail in our writing: the color of the sky, the texture of the couch, the nuances of the feelings of the main character, the twinkle in her eye.
There’s another way to interpret this saying, though. And that’s to trust that God is present and interested in the details of our lives. Know what your dreams are and pay attention to what you want. But focus on the details of your life—how you feel each moment, the details of what you do. Don’t be so attached to outcomes that you forget how much fun it is to live.
Remember that God is in the details, especially in how things work out.
God, help me be clear with you and myself about what I want in life. Help me learn to be present for the details of each moment of each day, doing what I do with passion.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
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February 7, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
Getting Needs Met
Picture yourself walking through a meadow. There is a path opening before you. As you walk, you feel hungry. Look to your left. There’s a fruit tree in full bloom. Pick what you need.
Steps later, you notice you’re thirsty. On your right, there’s a fresh water spring.
When you are tired, a resting place emerges. When you are lonely, a friend appears to walk with you. When you get lost, a teacher with a map appears.
Before long, you notice the flow: need and supply; desire and fulfillment. Maybe, you wonder, Someone gave me the need because Someone planned to fulfill it. Maybe I had to feel the need, so I would notice and accept the gift. Maybe closing my eyes to the desire closes my arms to its fulfillment.
Demand and supply, desire and fulfillment—a continuous cycle, unless we break it. All the necessary supplies have already been planned and provided for this journey.
Today, everything I need will be supplied to me.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
Getting Needs Met
Picture yourself walking through a meadow. There is a path opening before you. As you walk, you feel hungry. Look to your left. There’s a fruit tree in full bloom. Pick what you need.
Steps later, you notice you’re thirsty. On your right, there’s a fresh water spring.
When you are tired, a resting place emerges. When you are lonely, a friend appears to walk with you. When you get lost, a teacher with a map appears.
Before long, you notice the flow: need and supply; desire and fulfillment. Maybe, you wonder, Someone gave me the need because Someone planned to fulfill it. Maybe I had to feel the need, so I would notice and accept the gift. Maybe closing my eyes to the desire closes my arms to its fulfillment.
Demand and supply, desire and fulfillment—a continuous cycle, unless we break it. All the necessary supplies have already been planned and provided for this journey.
Today, everything I need will be supplied to me.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
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February 8, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
Thy Will Be Done
You can clear the land, plow the field, spread the fertilizer, and plant the corn. But you cannot make it rain. You cannot prevent an early frost. You cannot determine exactly what will happen in your life. The rain may or may not fall, but one thing is certain: you will get a harvest only if you planted something in the field.
It’s important to do everything in our power to ensure our success, but we also need to let the universe take its course. Getting mad won’t help. Dwelling on a situation only takes energy away from us, while yielding few positive results.
The Serenity Prayer comes to mind. It begins: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.”
Clear the land, plow the field, plant the crop, and then let go. Things will work out, sometimes the way we want them to, sometimes not. But they will work out.
Sometimes all you can do is shrug your shoulders, smile, and say whatever.
Thy will, not mine, be done.
God, help me take guided action, then surrender to your will. Help me remember that true power comes from aligning my will, intentions, and desires with you.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
Thy Will Be Done
You can clear the land, plow the field, spread the fertilizer, and plant the corn. But you cannot make it rain. You cannot prevent an early frost. You cannot determine exactly what will happen in your life. The rain may or may not fall, but one thing is certain: you will get a harvest only if you planted something in the field.
It’s important to do everything in our power to ensure our success, but we also need to let the universe take its course. Getting mad won’t help. Dwelling on a situation only takes energy away from us, while yielding few positive results.
The Serenity Prayer comes to mind. It begins: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.”
Clear the land, plow the field, plant the crop, and then let go. Things will work out, sometimes the way we want them to, sometimes not. But they will work out.
Sometimes all you can do is shrug your shoulders, smile, and say whatever.
Thy will, not mine, be done.
God, help me take guided action, then surrender to your will. Help me remember that true power comes from aligning my will, intentions, and desires with you.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go."
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February 9, 2017
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
Experiment
Experiment. Try something new. Try stepping out.
We have been held back too long. We have held ourselves back too long.
As children, many of us were deprived of the right to experiment. Many of us are depriving ourselves of the right to experiment and learn as adults.
Now is the time to experiment. It is an important part of recovery. Let yourself try things. Let yourself try something new. Yes, you will make mistakes. But from those mistakes, you can learn what your values are.
Some things we just won’t like. That’s good. Then we’ll know a little more about who we are and what we don’t like.
Some things we will like. They will work with our values. They will work with who we are, and we will discover something important and life-enriching.
There is a quiet time in recovery, a time to stand still and heal, a time to give ourselves a cooling-off time. This is a time of introspection and healing. It is an important time. We deal with our issues.
There also comes a time when it is equally important to experiment, to begin to “test the water.”
Recovery does not equal abstention from life. Recovery means learning to live and learning to live fully. Recovery means exploration, investigation, experimentation.
Recovery means being done with the rigid, shame-based rules from the past, and formulating healthy values based on self-love, love for others, and living in harmony with this world.
Experiment. Try something new. Maybe you won’t like it. Maybe you’ll make a mistake. But maybe you will like it, and maybe you’ll discover something you love.
Today I will give myself permission to experiment in life. I will stop rigidly holding myself back, and I will jump in when jumping in feels right. God, help me let go of my need to deprive myself of being alive.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
Experiment
Experiment. Try something new. Try stepping out.
We have been held back too long. We have held ourselves back too long.
As children, many of us were deprived of the right to experiment. Many of us are depriving ourselves of the right to experiment and learn as adults.
Now is the time to experiment. It is an important part of recovery. Let yourself try things. Let yourself try something new. Yes, you will make mistakes. But from those mistakes, you can learn what your values are.
Some things we just won’t like. That’s good. Then we’ll know a little more about who we are and what we don’t like.
Some things we will like. They will work with our values. They will work with who we are, and we will discover something important and life-enriching.
There is a quiet time in recovery, a time to stand still and heal, a time to give ourselves a cooling-off time. This is a time of introspection and healing. It is an important time. We deal with our issues.
There also comes a time when it is equally important to experiment, to begin to “test the water.”
Recovery does not equal abstention from life. Recovery means learning to live and learning to live fully. Recovery means exploration, investigation, experimentation.
Recovery means being done with the rigid, shame-based rules from the past, and formulating healthy values based on self-love, love for others, and living in harmony with this world.
Experiment. Try something new. Maybe you won’t like it. Maybe you’ll make a mistake. But maybe you will like it, and maybe you’ll discover something you love.
Today I will give myself permission to experiment in life. I will stop rigidly holding myself back, and I will jump in when jumping in feels right. God, help me let go of my need to deprive myself of being alive.
From the book "The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series."
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