Melody Beattie Daily Reader
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Melody Beattie Daily Reader
You are reading from "The Meditation Room" of Melody Beattie's website here: Daily Meditations Archives - Melody Beattie
January 1, 2017
Don't Avoid the Void
I was sitting at dinner with a group of friends in a restaurant one evening. Everyone but one person was done eating. Feet were shuffling under the table. We were ready to go. One member of the group, an older woman, was picking at her meal. She had ordered dessert, but hadn’t eaten it yet. Instead, she slowly sipped her coffee.
“I don’t eat my dessert until I’ve finished coffee,” she said, when the waiter asked if he could take her plate.
All eyes at the table watched as she took a tiny sip, placed the cup down, and chattered, telling stories and jokes, making meaningless conversation. We watched eagerly as she started to pick her fork up to take a bite of dessert, then sighed quietly as she changed her mind, set the fork down, and began to tell another story.
She was alone, widowed, and her children lived in another state. It was obvious that she was trying to stretch dinner out with her friends as long as she could. She was trying to fill up that empty, silent place we call the void.
There’s a lot of talk in life and in this book about doing, achieving, and going for what we want. There’s much spurring on to activity that shouts, “Yes, I’m alive. And I’m fully and richly living my life the best I can.”
In all this busyness and living, there needs to be mindfulness and careful attention paid to another part of life, too. That part is the repetitive and natural cycle that some people call “the void.”
It’s an empty space in our lives.
The void can be a small space in our lives, lasting a few days or weeks. Or it can go on longer. That relationship has ended. We’re alone. We don’t know what to do next. Or that cycle in our lives has ended—maybe we’ve graduated from school or college, and we don’t know where to go next. Maybe our time as a parent has ended. Maybe someone we loved, a roommate or best friend, who was an important part of our lives, has moved away.
Don’t be afraid of the void. Postpone it for a while, if you must. Linger at dinner with friends, refusing to finish your dessert. As dark, cold, and empty as it feels, the void is a friendly place. Its rhythms are slower and often more confusing than other cycles in our lives, but the rhythms of this cycle are still there.
Remember those quiet times in your life, the ones you’ve gone through before, when one cycle has ended and another has not yet begun. Remind yourself when that void comes along that you don’t have to be frightened of it. It’s not the end. It’s only a creative and necessary pause, a cycle of its own, in the cycles and rhythms of life.
God, give me the courage to step into the void in my life with dignity, faith, and a sense of humor. Help me cherish the unknown as much as I enjoy activity and clarity.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie
January 1, 2017
Don't Avoid the Void
I was sitting at dinner with a group of friends in a restaurant one evening. Everyone but one person was done eating. Feet were shuffling under the table. We were ready to go. One member of the group, an older woman, was picking at her meal. She had ordered dessert, but hadn’t eaten it yet. Instead, she slowly sipped her coffee.
“I don’t eat my dessert until I’ve finished coffee,” she said, when the waiter asked if he could take her plate.
All eyes at the table watched as she took a tiny sip, placed the cup down, and chattered, telling stories and jokes, making meaningless conversation. We watched eagerly as she started to pick her fork up to take a bite of dessert, then sighed quietly as she changed her mind, set the fork down, and began to tell another story.
She was alone, widowed, and her children lived in another state. It was obvious that she was trying to stretch dinner out with her friends as long as she could. She was trying to fill up that empty, silent place we call the void.
There’s a lot of talk in life and in this book about doing, achieving, and going for what we want. There’s much spurring on to activity that shouts, “Yes, I’m alive. And I’m fully and richly living my life the best I can.”
In all this busyness and living, there needs to be mindfulness and careful attention paid to another part of life, too. That part is the repetitive and natural cycle that some people call “the void.”
It’s an empty space in our lives.
The void can be a small space in our lives, lasting a few days or weeks. Or it can go on longer. That relationship has ended. We’re alone. We don’t know what to do next. Or that cycle in our lives has ended—maybe we’ve graduated from school or college, and we don’t know where to go next. Maybe our time as a parent has ended. Maybe someone we loved, a roommate or best friend, who was an important part of our lives, has moved away.
Don’t be afraid of the void. Postpone it for a while, if you must. Linger at dinner with friends, refusing to finish your dessert. As dark, cold, and empty as it feels, the void is a friendly place. Its rhythms are slower and often more confusing than other cycles in our lives, but the rhythms of this cycle are still there.
Remember those quiet times in your life, the ones you’ve gone through before, when one cycle has ended and another has not yet begun. Remind yourself when that void comes along that you don’t have to be frightened of it. It’s not the end. It’s only a creative and necessary pause, a cycle of its own, in the cycles and rhythms of life.
God, give me the courage to step into the void in my life with dignity, faith, and a sense of humor. Help me cherish the unknown as much as I enjoy activity and clarity.
From the book "More Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie
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You're welcome, Anvil--I'm glad to be starting this new thread. We've done "Language of Letting Go" for 2 consecutive years, and I think this site might give us a nice mix of the stuff we're familiar with from Melody along with some things we've not heard before from her other books.
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January 2, 2017
Prayer
Did you ever call someone on the phone, thinking they weren’t home and expecting to get their answering machine instead? That’s how it was the first time I called God.
I was in treatment for chemical dependency. I had been there almost 3 months, and I still couldn’t stop using drugs. I didn’t know how. I was ingesting anything I could get my hands on, from an industrial-sized can of nutmeg (I’d heard you can hallucinate with it), to marijuana (not my drug of choice, but it did in a pinch), to the old-fashioned inhaler decongestants (they can be like cheap speed).
I was out of my mind. I had a serious prison sentence hanging over my head for possession of narcotics and some drugstore burglaries. A lot was riding on this treatment. And a dilemma had presented itself. An acquaintance from the streets had just entered the program. He had given me a handful of methamphetamine—my best score yet during treatment. But my probation officer was scheduled to visit me the following morning. I thought I’d just take a little.
I ended up staying up all night, bug-eyed and paranoid from the speed, wondering if I’d get caught. I made it through the visit with my probation officer the next day without attracting his attention. Even though I escaped getting detected by him, I couldn’t run from myself anymore.
After he left, I sat down on my bed. “God, I don’t know if you’re real or not,” I said. “But if you are, and there’s a program here that will help me stop using, please help me get it,” I said.
Two days later, I was sitting on the lawn smoking a joint. I took a hit, then laid back to stare at the clouds. In that moment, the sky seemed to turn purplish. I knew that I knew—that deepest kind of knowing—that God was real, and I had no right to keep using alcohol and other drugs anymore. “If I put just half as much energy into doing the right thing as I’ve put into doing the wrong thing, there isn’t anything I can’t do,” I thought. I took one more hit of the joint. Then I went into the treatment center building and threw myself into recovery with all my heart and soul.
Two days later, another acquaintance came through the treatment center. He had some good dope. Did I want some? “No thanks,” I said. “I don’t get high anymore.” I surprised my friend. I surprised myself even more.
I live in California, where celebrities can be seen often. People, including myself, will flock around celebrities, hoping to have just a few words with someone we consider powerful and important. It’s fun, but my life has never been improved by getting an autograph or meeting somebody famous. Talking to God has changed my life.
Value: Prayer is the value this week.
From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact
Prayer
Did you ever call someone on the phone, thinking they weren’t home and expecting to get their answering machine instead? That’s how it was the first time I called God.
I was in treatment for chemical dependency. I had been there almost 3 months, and I still couldn’t stop using drugs. I didn’t know how. I was ingesting anything I could get my hands on, from an industrial-sized can of nutmeg (I’d heard you can hallucinate with it), to marijuana (not my drug of choice, but it did in a pinch), to the old-fashioned inhaler decongestants (they can be like cheap speed).
I was out of my mind. I had a serious prison sentence hanging over my head for possession of narcotics and some drugstore burglaries. A lot was riding on this treatment. And a dilemma had presented itself. An acquaintance from the streets had just entered the program. He had given me a handful of methamphetamine—my best score yet during treatment. But my probation officer was scheduled to visit me the following morning. I thought I’d just take a little.
I ended up staying up all night, bug-eyed and paranoid from the speed, wondering if I’d get caught. I made it through the visit with my probation officer the next day without attracting his attention. Even though I escaped getting detected by him, I couldn’t run from myself anymore.
After he left, I sat down on my bed. “God, I don’t know if you’re real or not,” I said. “But if you are, and there’s a program here that will help me stop using, please help me get it,” I said.
Two days later, I was sitting on the lawn smoking a joint. I took a hit, then laid back to stare at the clouds. In that moment, the sky seemed to turn purplish. I knew that I knew—that deepest kind of knowing—that God was real, and I had no right to keep using alcohol and other drugs anymore. “If I put just half as much energy into doing the right thing as I’ve put into doing the wrong thing, there isn’t anything I can’t do,” I thought. I took one more hit of the joint. Then I went into the treatment center building and threw myself into recovery with all my heart and soul.
Two days later, another acquaintance came through the treatment center. He had some good dope. Did I want some? “No thanks,” I said. “I don’t get high anymore.” I surprised my friend. I surprised myself even more.
I live in California, where celebrities can be seen often. People, including myself, will flock around celebrities, hoping to have just a few words with someone we consider powerful and important. It’s fun, but my life has never been improved by getting an autograph or meeting somebody famous. Talking to God has changed my life.
Value: Prayer is the value this week.
From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact
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I didnt fill the void with anything but a new boyfriend. I screwed up and I hate that I did that to myself. After 5-6 months Im trying to end it because I realized that I was filling a void with someone that I Couldnt fill because I was supposed to be tending to my feelings. Not worried about finding someone else to fill all my empty spaces. Ugh. Im so discouraged.
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But JAD, you realize what you did. And recognizing, admitting and fixing a mistake are all big steps forward! Give yourself credit for knowing when you went wrong...
Like they say, "when we know better, we do better." And now that you know better, you ARE doing better.
Like they say, "when we know better, we do better." And now that you know better, you ARE doing better.
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Prayer, Day 2
January 3, 2017
Most of us have heard the phrase “Stick with the winners.” Who we associate with can directly influence our thoughts, attitudes, emotions, and behaviors. Why not spend a few minutes a day consciously connecting with God?
Application: Prayer is a good thing to wrap around us every day. Whenever we get in a jam, get confused, need help, or don’t know what to do next, taking a minute to talk to God and asking for guidance is a good call.
From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact
Most of us have heard the phrase “Stick with the winners.” Who we associate with can directly influence our thoughts, attitudes, emotions, and behaviors. Why not spend a few minutes a day consciously connecting with God?
Application: Prayer is a good thing to wrap around us every day. Whenever we get in a jam, get confused, need help, or don’t know what to do next, taking a minute to talk to God and asking for guidance is a good call.
From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact
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Originally Posted by honeypig 
But JAD, you realize what you did. And recognizing, admitting and fixing a mistake are all big steps forward! Give yourself credit for knowing when you went wrong...
Like they say, "when we know better, we do better." And now that you know better, you ARE doing better.
Like they say, "when we know better, we do better." And now that you know better, you ARE doing better.
I should probably make my own thread about this huh
haha
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Originally Posted by honeypig
If it's something you need and want to talk thru in more detail, yes, absolutely, start a thread, JAD. You know we're good talkers (and hopefully listeners) here!
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Prayer, Day 3
January 4, 2017
After I left treatment, praying in the morning became part of my routine. I prayed as though my life depended on it, because it did. I didn’t feel like I had begun my day properly unless I started it with a recovery prayer, asking for God’s help and guidance.
After my son died, I was so angry about his death that I stopped my morning routine. But there came a time when I had to get back to my routine of talking to God. It can be hard to believe that God cares about the details of our lives. It can feel awkward talking to a force we can’t see or hear.
Challenge: For me, the hardest thing about praying is that I drag my heels and balk at the discipline of regular prayer. I need to remind myself that prayer isn’t work. It works.
From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact
After I left treatment, praying in the morning became part of my routine. I prayed as though my life depended on it, because it did. I didn’t feel like I had begun my day properly unless I started it with a recovery prayer, asking for God’s help and guidance.
After my son died, I was so angry about his death that I stopped my morning routine. But there came a time when I had to get back to my routine of talking to God. It can be hard to believe that God cares about the details of our lives. It can feel awkward talking to a force we can’t see or hear.
Challenge: For me, the hardest thing about praying is that I drag my heels and balk at the discipline of regular prayer. I need to remind myself that prayer isn’t work. It works.
From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact
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Prayer, Day 4
January 5, 2017
“Whenever I talk to God, I feel like I’m pleading and begging,” a woman said to me. “What should I do?”
“If we can’t beg God, who can we beg?” I said. “I’d just keep praying if I were you.”
Inventory Focus: Is prayer a regular part of your routine?
From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact
“Whenever I talk to God, I feel like I’m pleading and begging,” a woman said to me. “What should I do?”
“If we can’t beg God, who can we beg?” I said. “I’d just keep praying if I were you.”
Inventory Focus: Is prayer a regular part of your routine?
From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact
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I'm not sure about today's reading.
For a long time I've felt that prayer was more about saying "thank you" for what I DO have than about "begging" for what I DON'T have. Certainly there are times where I feel like I don't have much, but if I think about it, I can find a lot to be grateful for.
When I do ask for something in my prayers, I try to keep it along the lines of "patience" or "understanding" or "the knowledge of HP's will for me and the strength to carry it out." Hence my choice of picture for today's post.
For a long time I've felt that prayer was more about saying "thank you" for what I DO have than about "begging" for what I DON'T have. Certainly there are times where I feel like I don't have much, but if I think about it, I can find a lot to be grateful for.
When I do ask for something in my prayers, I try to keep it along the lines of "patience" or "understanding" or "the knowledge of HP's will for me and the strength to carry it out." Hence my choice of picture for today's post.
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I hear what you're saying, hp.
I think when I knew better, I did better. When I have been in desperate times, I've absolutely begged. Inconsolable, on my knees crying-prayer-begging. God has always shown Himself to be there even in my worst times...perhaps especially in my worst times. I can't get that from humans, they always want to control or give advice.
One of the best things about God is that He keeps our secrets. He wants me to be healed completely, and He will hold me while I work with Him.
When I got a little healing, my prayers became less me-focused and more, "Thy Will," focused. Still a work in process, but gratitude is a fruit of the Spirit, in my opinion - and it comes when the desperation has been removed. The desperation may have brought me to my knees, but I stayed there to give thanks. It's all part of a process for me.
I think when I knew better, I did better. When I have been in desperate times, I've absolutely begged. Inconsolable, on my knees crying-prayer-begging. God has always shown Himself to be there even in my worst times...perhaps especially in my worst times. I can't get that from humans, they always want to control or give advice.
One of the best things about God is that He keeps our secrets. He wants me to be healed completely, and He will hold me while I work with Him.
When I got a little healing, my prayers became less me-focused and more, "Thy Will," focused. Still a work in process, but gratitude is a fruit of the Spirit, in my opinion - and it comes when the desperation has been removed. The desperation may have brought me to my knees, but I stayed there to give thanks. It's all part of a process for me.
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I think there is a difference between begging to God for a new car and begging to God to intervene on a bad situation for example. Every time I pray to God I thank him for what I have and am thankful for. I also ask for his help in dealing with my daughter because at this point, there is not much else I can do. So I do beg for guidance, understanding, for the hearts of others to open so the situation can be better, those types of things. I believe God sees what's in my heart one way or another, but it helps me to articulate it when I pray.
Originally Posted by honeypig
I'm not sure about today's reading.
For a long time I've felt that prayer was more about saying "thank you" for what I DO have than about "begging" for what I DON'T have. Certainly there are times where I feel like I don't have much, but if I think about it, I can find a lot to be grateful for.
When I do ask for something in my prayers, I try to keep it along the lines of "patience" or "understanding" or "the knowledge of HP's will for me and the strength to carry it out." Hence my choice of picture for today's post.
For a long time I've felt that prayer was more about saying "thank you" for what I DO have than about "begging" for what I DON'T have. Certainly there are times where I feel like I don't have much, but if I think about it, I can find a lot to be grateful for.
When I do ask for something in my prayers, I try to keep it along the lines of "patience" or "understanding" or "the knowledge of HP's will for me and the strength to carry it out." Hence my choice of picture for today's post.
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Prayer, Day 5
January 6, 2017
Most religions have formal prayers and guidelines for praying. These include confession of wrongdoing, asking for forgiveness, expressing gratitude for help and gifts received, asking for guidance, asking for blessings on people we love or are trying to love, and praise.
Some people like to pray in the shower, others on their knees by their bed. Some like to pray in a group. People may bow their heads, or clasp their hands, or close their eyes. Some even consider thought a form of prayer.
We can talk out loud or silently think a prayer. We can even write letters in a God journal. Some people say long prayers in the morning. Others combine that with short little messages throughout the day to God.
How do you like to pray? What works for you?
Action: Here’s a recovery prayer based on the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
“Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today. For the next 24 hours, I pray for knowledge of your will for me only and the power to carry that through. I pray that you might free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, and wrong motives. I pray that in times of doubt and indecision, you might send your inspiration and guidance. I pray that you might send me the right thought, word, or action, and that you show me what my next step should be.”
You can pray for whatever you want, but asking to be shown God’s Will and to be given the power to carry that through is usually a good bet.
From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact
Most religions have formal prayers and guidelines for praying. These include confession of wrongdoing, asking for forgiveness, expressing gratitude for help and gifts received, asking for guidance, asking for blessings on people we love or are trying to love, and praise.
Some people like to pray in the shower, others on their knees by their bed. Some like to pray in a group. People may bow their heads, or clasp their hands, or close their eyes. Some even consider thought a form of prayer.
We can talk out loud or silently think a prayer. We can even write letters in a God journal. Some people say long prayers in the morning. Others combine that with short little messages throughout the day to God.
How do you like to pray? What works for you?
Action: Here’s a recovery prayer based on the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
“Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today. For the next 24 hours, I pray for knowledge of your will for me only and the power to carry that through. I pray that you might free my thinking of self-will, self-seeking, and wrong motives. I pray that in times of doubt and indecision, you might send your inspiration and guidance. I pray that you might send me the right thought, word, or action, and that you show me what my next step should be.”
You can pray for whatever you want, but asking to be shown God’s Will and to be given the power to carry that through is usually a good bet.
From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact
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Honestly, I haven't prayed in years.
I grew up in a really screwed up, cultish church. After I left, my pendulum swung the other way. At this point in my life, I feel like it's starting to settle out some, but I have major struggles with spirituality.
I recently started reading Waiting by Marya Hornbacher, which I saw recommended on a thread recently, and I think it will be helpful.
I grew up in a really screwed up, cultish church. After I left, my pendulum swung the other way. At this point in my life, I feel like it's starting to settle out some, but I have major struggles with spirituality.
I recently started reading Waiting by Marya Hornbacher, which I saw recommended on a thread recently, and I think it will be helpful.
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