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Old 11-09-2016, 02:18 AM
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Firsts

I sort of, kind of knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that one day (if things kept going where they were going) i would see my alcoholic boyfriend be in a state of so drunk that he would lose control of his bladder or bowls. Either way. Totally a wake up call. And today was that day. He came home at 3am. I thought I was lucky that he was going to sleep straight away. And in a way I was. He said some druken nonsense that sounded like he was trying to start a fight, I just said OK.

Luckily he slid off the bed before pissing himself. At least the mattress is safe. Should I get a mattress cover? Sigh.

This whole, week, two weeks maybe, I've been feeling very "awake" to my scenario and what I want and how I feel. I just don't know what to say or do. And this is a line I draw. I can't. So I'm gonna find a AlAnon meeting and go. I was nervous and scared. But now I'm angry. And not the hot firey kind of anger. More like a slow steady march, with determination.

Wish me luck

Anyone else out there on the verge of going to first meeting?
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Old 11-09-2016, 02:55 AM
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Me too! When I find something similar (Alanon isn't out here, too remote).

I feel like I'm going to burst in there, talk everyone's heads off and end with "so now what do I do?"

Getting a mattress cover can't hurt, but let's be real, he could pee anywhere. It's more worrying he comes home trying to pick fights, do you have a spare bedroom or somewhere where you don't have to deal with him at 3am?

*hugs*
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Old 11-09-2016, 12:23 PM
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No, I don't have much space, our place is pretty small. But I manage to avoid fights lately. I came home to him, being very depressed, which he usually is after a binge or bender. He always feel very down afterwards. For up to two days. Sometimes that leads rigt into the next drinking span.
I was just gonna do my own thing, he comes up to me and says "if I make it to the morning I'm gonna check into a mental health hospital."
I didn't know how to respond. He started talking about how he tried to kill himself today. And he says he has taken something to try over dose. I saw a bunch of neocitran packages in the garbage. Before he even said that. So I'm not too worried. It's acetaminophen, bad for the liver especially for a drinker on top of that. I'm not sure how to proceed. I might call a mental health place and ask them.
I'm just afraid "helping" him is enabling him again. I know I'm not supposed to clean up his messes. Aahhh. Should I? Shouldn't I?
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Old 11-09-2016, 12:26 PM
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Maybe you can start a small support group in your area? How rural or how far are people?
Sometimes having just one person who understands what you're goingthrough helps. Also, keep reading here and keep posting :-)
*Hugs
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Old 11-10-2016, 08:39 PM
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There is always an option of calling the police when he threatens suicide. They will help him to that mental hospital he is speaking of.
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Old 11-11-2016, 12:06 AM
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My ExABF would use the bathroom on himself when he would go on a binge. He did it twice with me and honestly it broke my heart to see someone so addicted to something that they would pee on themself. I was actually in shock. & he would pick fights w me too. But I wouldn't back down. I would constantly try to talk it out when in reality it made it worse.

I don't think going to AlAnon or finding a support group is a bad thing! Focus on you right now. You have a right to be selfish honestly. That's what I had to do to focus on me.
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Old 11-11-2016, 07:46 AM
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Natasha....personally, I would always help someone who is depressed and talking suicide to get to a mental health facility. At least, I would encourage them.

How to behave in a specific situation, requires individual judgement......
Personally, I don't call treatment "enabling"......

Full disclosure---I am a medical professional.....
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Old 11-11-2016, 08:28 AM
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Folks, on her other thread she said he's in the hospital right now for his suicidal ideation. So that piece is under control for the moment.
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Old 11-11-2016, 08:46 AM
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Nata1980, I didn't call the police, or an ambulance because I didn't see an immediate need for medical care. I looked at what he had taken and googled for overdose amounts. I was planning on watching and of course if anything happened I'd call for an ambulance. Also as far as police, they can be so rough. Emotionally. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing, I can only imagine he **** police would have said. Of course sometimes they are a good option. But I'm hesitant. A while ago he broke his hand punching a wall during one of our fights. The police were at the hospital and one took me aside and she talked to me like I was a child, and said sternly, "why are you still with him?" It was like she was saying he was an unlovable piece of garbage. And I felt horrible. As it was I managed to gently convince him to call a suicide hotline type of thing. And i think it was good. He took it in small steps. He is now verbalizing that he has a drinking addiction. It's great to see. Great for him.
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Old 11-11-2016, 08:52 AM
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ChiTown555, that is exactly how it is. Trying to talk it out does make it worse! I learned that the hard way. But I'm better at this now.

And same here. I was heartbroken. It was sad to see.

And yeah I need to go to AlAnon. So weird that this crisis of his happened on the SAME night I decided I'd had enough. Hahahahha!
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Old 11-11-2016, 08:56 AM
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Thank you dandylion, you always have good stuff to say.

I'm glad for you confirmation because I did help him, and I am helping him by dealing with a few things out here while he's in there. Just notifying people and I brought him some person items from home.

Thanks for your view of things
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Old 11-11-2016, 08:57 AM
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Thank you LexieCat (:
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