Beating a dead horse

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08-24-2016, 12:14 PM

# 21 (permalink)

lizatola

Member

Join Date: Aug 2010

Posts: 2,349

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr

In my experience alcoholics cling to people who enabled their drinking. I hope you don't give in because nothing will change. A big hug.

Yep. My XAH did all of that. We'd have a few great days and even a good week here and there. He was a binge drinker so I knew he could keep it together for longer than most but we were always in a cycle. Once you pick up on the patterns and the cycle they are in, you can find ways to skirt the drama, find peace for yourself, and make an exit strategy if that is what is needed. I couldn't do the emotional up and down and the blame game anymore, among other dysfunctions.

What I learned is that they won't ever change for ME and most likely wouldn't change for our son. I had to accept that and get up the guts to move on. We're here for you!

08-24-2016, 12:17 PM

# 22 (permalink)

dandylion

Community Greeter

Join Date: Aug 2011

Posts: 16,246

thousandwords...you are not taking "too much" with your questions and doubts.
This forum is to help each other and to BE helped!

You are already helping many more people than you realize. did you know that tons more people read this forum, every day, than actually post, at all? There are some that read here for years before ever posting....
They are validated by reading your story and hearing about your feelings.
they are learning by watching your journey and your struggles...
Every time you post...you are teaching!

dandylion

08-24-2016, 01:53 PM

# 23 (permalink)

firebolt

Member

Join Date: Jan 2012

Posts: 3,699

Quote:

thousandwords...you know the guy at ringside, during a prizefight? the one that give the boxer water and bandaids, etc., between rounds...?

that is what we are doing for you.....patch you up...and, send you back in......lol...

Baahaha! - i'm kinda dying at my desk over the visual on this one.

As much as I DO NOT MISS being that boxer, i'm eternally grateful for those here that were in my corner...and being able to come in here for a butt slap and a "get back out there, kid" on my bad days!

08-24-2016, 06:14 PM

# 24 (permalink)

Sunshine1234

Member

Join Date: Apr 2016

Posts: 293

Quote:

Originally Posted by LexieCat

The "finality" may look scary from here, but it is what finally brings a sense of PEACE. Sitting on the fence is darned hard on the tuches. Once you finally get OFF of it, you will be AMAZED at how much better you feel.

So true!!! I was shocked at how peaceful I felt when I got out of the house and left my AH. Now 5 months later I'm not shocked one bit, because I can now see that I was living in utter CHAOS and was in major DENIAL. I filed for divorce this week and felt even more peaceful after that. All of these things that keep us in limbo just make the inevitable drawn out and keep breaking us down. As they say on here you know when it's time to leave when the pain of staying is worse than the pain of leaving. Hugs to you...I know this is gut wrenching especially as a mom <3