Shirt423

Years ago I was in the thick of a romantic relationship with an alcoholic. He knew he had an issue, he struggled with sobriety, he was a full blown addict.

Someone on this site told me to run. Someone told me I was young, I didn't have children yet, and I wasn't married. RUN.

I remember being angry.

I was in love.

Five years later I am happy. I am married. I have two beautiful children.

I am not married to my ex abf. I became happy only after I realized I could not waste more of my life hoping he would recover. I did not marry an addict. I am raising my husbands children who's alcoholic mother abandoned them. There is still chaos surrounding her and her enabling family, but through my experiences I remain healthy.

I probably should have ran. But instead I learned and am a better person for it. I will never get the 3 years back that I spent focusing on him. I guarantee I will not spend another minute of my life stressing over the actions of an addict. I may even love one again (a child, sibling, friend),but not more than I love myself.

I won't tell anyone to run. But I'd strongly consider walking away.

tigerlily1

Thanks Shirt for sharing your story! Glad to hear that you are doing well and no longer immersed in the alcoholic relationship with your Ex. Also glad those kids have you!

LexieCat

Thanks for sharing--glad your story had a happy ending (or, rather, a happy middle).

Liveitwell

Thank you for sharing.

hope778

Thank you for sharing your story and advice

Bekindalways

Thanks for this Shirt. I have told people to run. Now I try to be kind, supportive and encourage them to educate themselves.

People in love are in a different zone. It is difficult to be helpful in the situation. Sometimes I wonder if it is my own codependency that wants to change/help folks in relationships with addicts. People have to learn and adapt at there own speed.

Kboys

nice to hear, thanks for posting

dandylion

shsirt423 and Bekindalways,,,,,,I no longer use the actual word "run" (for those in love).....I, also, try to emphasize education and nudge toward treatment...and, gently as possible...give a realistic picture....
For those who believe that their special love will make a difference....I have come to learn that almost all go away mad.
My hope is to say something that they will remember in the future that might be of value.....

I think that for most....it is a matter of the pain of staying becoming greater than the fear or leaving.......

dandylion

SoberLeigh

So very nice to hear that you have found happiness in a healthy relationship, Shirt423.