Blogs


Notices

Someone told me run

Old 06-30-2016, 07:15 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 46
Someone told me run

Years ago I was in the thick of a romantic relationship with an alcoholic. He knew he had an issue, he struggled with sobriety, he was a full blown addict.

Someone on this site told me to run. Someone told me I was young, I didn't have children yet, and I wasn't married. RUN.

I remember being angry.

I was in love.

Five years later I am happy. I am married. I have two beautiful children.

I am not married to my ex abf. I became happy only after I realized I could not waste more of my life hoping he would recover. I did not marry an addict. I am raising my husbands children who's alcoholic mother abandoned them. There is still chaos surrounding her and her enabling family, but through my experiences I remain healthy.

I probably should have ran. But instead I learned and am a better person for it. I will never get the 3 years back that I spent focusing on him. I guarantee I will not spend another minute of my life stressing over the actions of an addict. I may even love one again (a child, sibling, friend),but not more than I love myself.

I won't tell anyone to run. But I'd strongly consider walking away.
Shirt423 is offline  
The Following 20 Users Say Thank You to Shirt423 For This Useful Post:
Adrian80 (06-30-2016), Ariesagain (07-01-2016), Bekindalways (07-01-2016), Berrybean (07-01-2016), Bobbieka (06-30-2016), caretaker88 (07-02-2016), Carol Star (07-01-2016), Eauchiche (07-01-2016), firebolt (07-01-2016), hope778 (07-01-2016), iSPAZ (07-01-2016), Jaeger (06-30-2016), Katchie (07-01-2016), Kboys (07-01-2016), LexieCat (06-30-2016), maia1234 (07-01-2016), SmallButMighty (06-30-2016), sugarbear1 (07-01-2016), TalenCrowhaven (07-02-2016), tomsteve (07-01-2016)
Old 06-30-2016, 07:34 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
tigerlily1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 114
Thanks Shirt for sharing your story! Glad to hear that you are doing well and no longer immersed in the alcoholic relationship with your Ex. Also glad those kids have you!
tigerlily1 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to tigerlily1 For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (07-01-2016), caretaker88 (07-02-2016), firebolt (07-01-2016), maia1234 (07-01-2016)
Old 06-30-2016, 07:55 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Thanks for sharing--glad your story had a happy ending (or, rather, a happy middle).
LexieCat is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LexieCat For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (07-01-2016), caretaker88 (07-02-2016)
Old 06-30-2016, 08:25 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Thank you for sharing.
Liveitwell is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Liveitwell For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (07-01-2016), caretaker88 (07-02-2016)
Old 07-01-2016, 05:23 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
hope778's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 468
Thank you for sharing your story and advice
hope778 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to hope778 For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (07-01-2016), caretaker88 (07-02-2016)
Old 07-01-2016, 05:36 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 5,830
Thanks for this Shirt. I have told people to run. Now I try to be kind, supportive and encourage them to educate themselves.

People in love are in a different zone. It is difficult to be helpful in the situation. Sometimes I wonder if it is my own codependency that wants to change/help folks in relationships with addicts. People have to learn and adapt at there own speed.
Bekindalways is online now  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Bekindalways For This Useful Post:
caretaker88 (07-02-2016), firebolt (07-01-2016)
Old 07-01-2016, 02:01 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 980
nice to hear, thanks for posting
Kboys is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Kboys For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (07-01-2016), caretaker88 (07-02-2016)
Old 07-01-2016, 02:29 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
dandylion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 15,784
shsirt423 and Bekindalways,,,,,,I no longer use the actual word "run" (for those in love).....I, also, try to emphasize education and nudge toward treatment...and, gently as possible...give a realistic picture....
For those who believe that their special love will make a difference....I have come to learn that almost all go away mad.
My hope is to say something that they will remember in the future that might be of value.....

I think that for most....it is a matter of the pain of staying becoming greater than the fear or leaving.......

dandylion
dandylion is online now  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to dandylion For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (07-01-2016), caretaker88 (07-02-2016)
Old 07-01-2016, 02:44 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 116,825
So very nice to hear that you have found happiness in a healthy relationship, Shirt423.
SoberLeigh is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Bekindalways (07-01-2016), caretaker88 (07-02-2016)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:15 AM.