Liveitwell

Y'all that know my story with my ex....I got a lovely gem tonight that I thought I would pass on and get your take on...my ex sent me a message out of the blue stating "it's your heart to blame".

Hmmm, it's my hearts fault he hasn't seen his own flesh and blood? It's my hearts fault he continues to drink and blame me? Hmmm, I smell projection and a load of BS. (Yes-I know I'm not to blame and that he's full of s**t and just gurgling alcoholic mumbo jumbo that doesn't make sense at all-it's what he's done for years). I read his message and asked my friend to pray for him. So we did bc I truly always have wanted the best for him.

Y'all that know my story, thoughts?

Thomas45

I wouldn't pay it any mind. He's blame-shifting, finding reasons to pin his current situation on anything but himself. And he likely believes what he's writing without realizing what he's doing.

My decoder is strong, but I'm drawing a blank on this one otherwise. Then again, my decoder is more geared towards detecting levels of inebriation and translating the intent. Examples:

"Hi."
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Hi."
That one means "I've had a little too much to drink and I'm thinking about you."

"Puidj ne uo." = "Pick me up. I am very drunk and want to go home."

Liveitwell

^ he has no self awareness at all. No introspection. Whatever his current situation is, it's not my fault and really, who cares. He's doing what an alcoholic does-that's all I know or need to know. Nah, he doesn't get any of my attention or heart or anything anymore-he used it and abused it.

Btw-love your pick me up translation I've been on the receiving ends if texts and messages that looked something like that :/

Bekindalways

"it's your heart to blame".

Translation: "I'm drinking and feeling lonely and sad, so I blame the feelings on you and it makes me feel better."

Berrybean

I'd translate it as 'I'm drunk and nothing is ever my fault'. Idiot man.

LeeJane

An A doing what an A does. He is sick. Is not personal.

Lilro

Ahhh For. If only you could block him so as not to deal with his alcoholic craziness.

Drunk, blaming. Whatever...

Hugs my friend,
Ro

Liveitwell

^ he needs the hugs, not me. I am good (but thank you-I'll always take extra hugs!!)

Yes, agreed with all translations above-pretty much everything he's said or messaged over the last couple of years can be translated to "I'm drunk, nothing is ever my fault".

Anyway, moving on...hope y'all have a fabulous Tuesday!

schnappi99

I consulted my Man Guide. bekindalways above has it right- in the chapter on emotionalism ie feeling sorry for myself; trying to reach out to the only emotional contact I have, while being unconscious of the harm I've done to her.

tomsteve

"Y'all that know my story, thoughts?"

im very glad i never had one of tbese fancyschmancy textin machines where my drunken, denialin, rationalizin, insanity could be kept to remind me later on.

hopeful4

Translation:

My own life is a piece of crap and I am looking for someone to try and make feel guilty about it.

Just my .02 friend.

Eauchiche

"I am ingesting substances that turn the higher functioning parts of my brain to mush. I am hell-bent on a downward spiral, and I'd like to take you with me."

atalose

As it’s been said on SR so many times…………..the mortal enemy of addiction is accountability.

That’s so good you can pray for him and not drain yourself with obsession.

((hugs))

dandylion

tomsteve.....

Refiner

Oh PUH-leeze. He feels SO sorry for himself. Pathetic.

Liveitwell

^ yep.

Bekindalways

So if the mortal enemy of addiction is accountability, what is the mortal enemy of codependency?

Refiner

I would say standing up for yourself and not let another person walk all over you and having power over you.

Liveitwell

Yep again-Refiner, my friend, you are on a roll today!!

TimeForMe

To me, what he wrote is:

"Quack, quack, quack!"

That's the kind of thing my STBXAH would text me when he was looking for a fight. Lately, I've been choosing not to engage.