Refiner

Vitriol? No, not here. Just pointing out that you've provided a very soft landing for him for some time and he's become dependent on you.

Liveitwell

Well said, refiner.

F50Lurker

My advice is take him off your insurance right away.

CaveGirl

I'm giving him til the end of April on the insurance, it's paid until then anyway. In regards to his "stuff" it's really not much and it is more hassle for me than anything. Mostly family photos, things like that. I'm just not going out of my way to do anything with them. I'm not holding on to it for any other reason. He doesn't want it anyway.

Trust me the landing isn't soft. But I do appreciate all of you looking out for me.

wanttobehealthy

You don't need to be (but I can understand why you are) about how his dignity feels, having been sent home to his parents as a 30 something year old .... Because the reality is that his behavior that led to you ending things with him and sending him home to his parents is HIS, not yours.

And its pretty odd that he was texting and contacting you and not his parents when he went to the ER, don't you think?

From the outside it looks like he was hoping to manipulate you and prey on your emotions.

I am sorry for all the mixed feelings you must be dealing with.

CaveGirl

I don't feel guilty about sending him away, he gave me no choice. I actually feel relieved. I'm actually not sure he went to the ER at all, I haven't heard back from him and I'm not contacting him. I thought it was weird at the time too.

I do think he was playing on my emotions and it worked a bit, but probably not how he hoped. It made me all the more resolved to not be with him. His dad wants to talk to me, and I'm willing to do that.

Don't hate the guy just hope he is finally ready to get well... If not at least he isn't causing chaos in my home anymore and is far enough away that he can't show up.

I was mostly wanting to see how other folks felt during this phase of weirdness.... Relieved? Scared? Sad? I'm sure it is all too common... Sad really.

Seren

Hello CaveGirl,

Wow, that must have been a bizarre phone call to live through!! I'm sorry he continues to try to do things to reel you back into his 'dance of alcoholism'. If it were me, I would have been feeling very uncomfortable and sad after that phone call--I guess I would try to tell myself that if he were indeed in the hospital, that is exactly where he needed to be to get the help he needs. If he wanted it.

As far as his belongings are concerned, well, I understand the problems with logistics in that regard. You pack them and send them when you have time, I guess, as long as it's not an inconvenience to you in terms of space. Hopefully you will be able to get his stuff out the door on some weekend or another coming up

Please take good care!