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Old 09-12-2004, 10:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
Menanax4's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: South
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Fear For My Brother

Hi all-
My brother is an alcoholic and I can't help him anymore. Eight years ago during a month long binge, he asked someone for a ride home and when they declined, he said he had a gun and that they would give him a ride. To make a long story short, he was charged with car jacking, abduction, eluding the police, and using a firearm in the commission of a felony. He was sentenced to 20 years, 13 years suspended, so he did 7 years. He got out of prison in March of this year, a changed man we thought. He talked to me alot about what drinking had cost him - his freedom, his family, everything. He swore he would never drink again and asked that we have faith in him. We did. He attended an alcohol abuse class once a week and finished two weeks ago. They took him off strict supervision and we all celebrated how well he was doing. Well, apparently as soon as he finished his weekly classes, he started falling into old habits - hanging out with the wrong people, staying out all night, etc. Now we know he started drinking again a week ago and Saturday night he drove his truck into the rearend of a parked car - drunk. Thank God no one else was hurt. He's in the hospital but his injuries are not serious and he will be getting out tomorrow. I called him at the hospital but he wouldn't say much. When I said I didn't understand, he hung up on me.
When he got out of prison a friend of the family gave him an old truck, his employer gave him his job back, he got his driver's license back, he was reestablishing a relationship with his two sons, and everyone tried to help him in every way to make a new start. He just threw it all away and us with it. I'm so angry. I don't know what to say to him. Our love, his sons, the threat of returning to prison, nothing helped him stay sober. What can we do? I think there is something wrong with him besides alcoholism. I think he has depression. I'm afraid the shame and humiliation of this may cause him to do something to himself. He seems so self destructive. I'm afraid to confront him with my anger for fear it pushes him over the edge. Can anyone help me?
Sorry this is so long.
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Old 09-12-2004, 10:16 PM   #2 (permalink)
redrose0729's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Heart of Dixie
Posts: 168
I wish I had some words of wisdom for you right now , but I don't. There are of other people here that will be coming on and responding to you. I will pray for you and your family and hope everything turns out for the best.
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Old 09-12-2004, 10:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
smoke gets in my eyes's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2001
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Posts: 2,416
Hi Menanax and welcome.

The very sad thing is that there is really nothing you can do for him that you have not already done. Alcoholics often need continuing help, not just a class that they graduate from. However, he has to make the decision to get that help. I expect they told him about AA in class. I'm glad you found us. It's a miserable and helpless feeling knowing there is nothing you can do for someone you would do anything for. It's good to find support for yourself.

It is better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.
21st century proverb
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