Carlotta

None of it is conducive to you getting better: it's just a bunch of toxic nonsense which keeps you stuck instead of moving forward.
Have you considered setting a boundary with your brother as in: I do not want to hear or read about my ex?
If your brother does not respect your wishes then you can just put him (your brother) on no contact for a bit.
That could be something to seriously consider unless you enjoy the sweet drama of it all.

jjj111

I'm not sure what you mean when you say this is a vindication?

zoso77

ZoSo's C++ program to explain addict behavior.

int main (int argc, char **argv)
[
char *behavior = argv[1];
Boolean doubt = (Boolean)atoi(argv[2]);

Boolean crazy = isHeCrazy(behavior);

if (crazy) cout << "He's an addict, he's Bipolar, he's likely Borderline" << endl;


if (doubt) cout << "He's an addict, he's Bipolar, he's likely Borderline" << endl;


return(0);
]

Jupiters

I suck at math, but I get that equation! haha

Refiner

And the crazy train on the merry-go-round goes ROUND and ROUND.

Thumper

It is a serious question. I do not think it was meant to be offensive either - it was meant to be helpful. We stay to long, we take them back. This is what happens if we do not pay attention.

You have to be deadly honest with yourself or you will not know how to handle it when he shows up - and he will show up. You have been in this place before and the best prediction of future behavior is past behavior so it is very important to do something different to get a different outcome.

You are still very much at the stage where you question why, what you could have done, still obsessed with him, etc. That is OK - you are where you are at in the process but it puts you at a very high risk of not thinking things through and acting on emotion and hurt - and taking him back. Knowledge and awareness is half the battle sometimes.

freetosmile

Wow- not really unbelievable but just ridiculous.

That other girl got burned now too...

Jodie--- I really hope you aren't thinking what I think you may be thinking.

( if that makes sense)

Don't do it to yourself. Don't even for a second entertain the notion of talking to this man. At least IMO.

Do you remember when you were bawling hysterically a few weeks ago? Well I do. This man has brought you pain and agony beyond anything.

Your not married to him, you have no kids, you don't HAVE to have contact with this person if you don't want to. So, whatever you decide I will support you...but I just hope you are still seeing the light.

Hugs

Cleo1234

Jodie, I'm proud of you for being so strong... i know how hard this has all been, but from the beginning of this madness you have not contacted him and have kept your self respect! I hope with this new information it makes you realize that the problem was/is/always will be HIM!

Jodie77

Yes and thank you all so so so much. I am getting my sanity and emotional health back and am completely done with him. I feel like I've been through an emotional train wreck and will never put myself in such a toxic situation again.

Thank you everyone for your support and also to Alanon and my therapist and most importantly God. I'm not through the woods yet....but getting there.

lillamy

That's because you have, girl. One big-arse train wreck it was, too. And you're walking away from it. Pat yourself on the back.

Jodie77

Thank you I already know he is going to use triangulation with my brother. He's going to continue to reach out to him to tell him things to relay back to me...

I wonder how his new "wife" would feel about his latest text...ugh.

Carlotta

Don't you even think about it!!!
This is not healthy. I know you are still reeling and hurting but the best way for you is forward. If you have to put your brother (who is on drugs too if I remember well) on ignore then so be it.
Just be grateful that you are not her. Even if you feel for some reason that she did you wrong, she is stuck with an addict and as sick (or on her way to become as sick) as you.
And yes, she is his wife whether you like it or not. Actually if you think a break up with an addict was bad, thank your lucky stars it was not a divorce with lawyers etc involved.
There are plenty of nice men out there who are not druggies and treat their partners with respect.

Sungrl

I second definitely blocking your brother. I have a feeling this could get ugly.

Forward Jodi not back. You seem secure in .....

alright, I was going to lie and say you seen secure in your conviction that you are done with him......but ahhhhh (I'm sorry)

I think given his history as a major player I think he is going to get to you...
PLEASE prove me wrong.

Sungrl

I only say this Jodi because it's exactly what I did !!

redatlanta

I wonder how many people wanted to forewarn you you hadn't heard the last of him…..

Congrats on your progress!!

I will say - it seems as if you have not directed people to stop texting you regarding him. You end up getting way more information than someone who has directed people to STOP sending you information. Maybe you need to cut contact with your brother who seems a bit traitorous at the moment anyway with continued contact with your EX.

BTW the addict is lying - he's either lied to everyone saying they got married, or is lying to your brother saying he didn't. Lies, lies and more lies. I believe the latter.

CodeJob

Ah sweet Jodie,

We want to hear about YOU. We really do. We do NOT define you in relation to HIM. Nope. I don't even hold the fact you aren't Greek against you like SOME people.

So what are you going to do about this ***** in your no contact - aka -your brother?

marie1960

his new wife is not your concern.

doesn't matter one iota , what she thinks, what she feels, how she would react.

You need to focus every ounce of energy on yourself here, it's the only way through this painful time, just YOU, not him, not her, not them, just YOU that is all that matter's today!

hopeful4

Jodi, I hope you can see you have come a very long way in a very short amount of time. I agree, typical alcoholic behavior. Karma is a big B, hope he is prepared to live with it for a long time.

Keep on keeping on, you are doing great!!!
XXX

Jodie77

Yes I am working on me! Today I had a therapy appt, in 2 months I'll be in Boca Raton, I bought the book Saber Tooth Tiger, and I'm making dinner plans with friends, and I'm staying close to God in prayer. That's what I'm doing for me

hopeful4

I am super proud of you! Look at you doing all of these good things! You've got this girly!!!