GracieLou

I understand this and try not to feel guilty about it, I have went to that same place, we are human after all.

Prayer is the best thing right now, for you and him.

It sometimes feels like I am waiting or holding my breath and that is no way to live either. The more time that goes by the more hope I pour on but I am realistic as well.

It is hard to recover. I have been there, it took everything I had to get sober and stay sober. It was my only goal for a year. I never had a goal before and it was so scary. I didn't want to fail again, if I had, I don't know if I would have tried again. I tried before and failed, took me ten years to get back.

So know, I understand, I get it, I know what he is going though and I know the odds....even knowing all that..I still have hope and faith.

Hang on to faith for yourself. Don't loose it and everything will be okay

MissFixit

Hi Katchie,

Since you two went into recovery mode last year around this time (I think), what can you do differently this year to not repeat the same pattern?

I have to really challenge myself not to fall into the same dysfunctional patterns of my past. That usually means switching things up a bit, not resting on my laurels, trying to eradicate expectations (very hard) and being ready to enforce whatever new boundaries I have set.

Hugs to you

Katchie

Thank you so much for what you said here, it really hit home.

Katchie

Well, here is what I'm doing different from this time last year: I'm in a 12 step program thru Celebrate Recovery and I'm making some wonderful accountability partners/friends from this small group; I have also followed thru with my word and he is no longer living in our home -- it will be 3 weeks Saturday; I have a new therapist that I like so far; I'm fixing up my grandmothers old place for me to live in if necessary; I'm crying ALOT -- I think its about 12-15 yrs worth of tears! There aren't enough kleenex in town to keep up with the flow.

MissFixit

Yay Katchie!

CodeJob

Katchie, reading this post is as bad as watching the final episodes of " Parenthood."

Peace dear heart. Life has been a bit of a crumpled map for you as of late, but you've done a great job stopping, smoothing it out and picking out the path In faith.

freetosmile

Cry cry cry it out, I say!!!

tears are wonderful healers. I get sick of crying, but I know I just need to....."let it go, let it go! "...(yes, I adore the movie frozen)

hang tough girlie! You are doing great! I'm still praying for you and yours
hugs!