Little angry about being tested

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01-08-2015, 05:38 PM

# 21 (permalink)

redatlanta

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Join Date: Sep 2012

Location: atlanta, ga

Posts: 3,581

Yeah TOO FREAKING BAD!!!!

Yee Haw. You go girl.

01-08-2015, 06:30 PM

# 22 (permalink)

Cathryn2001

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Join Date: Sep 2013

Location: Mid-Atlantic

Posts: 551

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katchie

Proud? No, disgusted, honestly. I have a headache, I wanna cry, I'm angry, and could scream.

Disgusted, wanna cry, angry, and could scream about HIS behavior . . . but you should be proud of your own. Growth isn't always easy, but you are doing the work. I think you're pretty amazing.

01-08-2015, 06:41 PM

# 23 (permalink)

Katchie

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Join Date: Aug 2012

Location: South Central USA

Posts: 1,478

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thumper

That was such a strong and powerful moment for you. I have had moments where I did not show that kind of strength and I deeply regretted it. Well done Katchie!!! I understand how it can still feel bad in the moment - for all the reasons you listed - but one of the most powerful things I learned in recovery is that sometimes even the right decisions feel bad because it is just a bad situation all the way around. Feeling bad doesn't mean the action/decision was wrong or shouldn't be taken. Sounds so simple but really - it was a huge turn around for me and got me unstuck. Your example was so perfect I did a little hell yeah fist pump in my heart for both of us. This business of dealing with life is hard but we can do it!

Thank you Thumper. I didn't feel particularly powerful. It was more indifference than anything. I think I just didn't give a rip because I was so angry at what he was trying to manipulate me into doing and the thought that in the past these things have always worked to keep up the image.

I know deep down that this is the right thing to do and that if I truly love him (even if he p*sses me off), and if I truly love my kids, I have to try something different.

Thank you for your encouragement.

01-08-2015, 06:57 PM

# 24 (permalink)

Katchie

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Thread Starter

Join Date: Aug 2012

Location: South Central USA

Posts: 1,478

I just have one more thing to say...

If it wasn't for the gentle 2x4's SR folks have struck across my backside on occasion, I don't know if I could have followed thru with my hearts desire Sunday and told him I wasn't comfortable with him coming home, or to tell him the other night that I called a lawyer about a legal separation and why, or that I actually called a lawyer! I also wouldn't have had the presence of mind to leave my AH's mom problem "in his lap" (as someone so perfectly called it) to take care of. I wouldn't have known how to do any of this if it wasn't for your stories, your examples, and of course, you loving 2x4's across my rear-end when I've needed it. I love you all for caring about me enough, though you only know me across the screen, to tell me the truth and to share your experiences.
Huge hugs to you all. You have done my life wonders helping show the way.