any parents who are still with their As out there?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 314
As a child with an alcoholic father, I always put on a happy face. I didn't even see my dad that much as my mum divorced him when I was three but it was horrible and I remember more than they think I do.
I know it is good to talk to children, answer their questions and be as honest as you can be, it should be age appropriate I believe. I don't think they should have to grow up having to develop some kind of coping/understanding to deal with an alcoholic parent. That's not really fair. Kids need to enjoy their childhood not deal with the worry of adult problems.
I just don't think you will find many people that will say that everything turned out fine growing up in an alcoholic home.
I know it is good to talk to children, answer their questions and be as honest as you can be, it should be age appropriate I believe. I don't think they should have to grow up having to develop some kind of coping/understanding to deal with an alcoholic parent. That's not really fair. Kids need to enjoy their childhood not deal with the worry of adult problems.
I just don't think you will find many people that will say that everything turned out fine growing up in an alcoholic home.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: virginia
Posts: 237
Originally Posted by maybear 
I don't think (kids) should have to grow up having to develop some kind of coping/understanding to deal with an alcoholic parent. That's not really fair. Kids need to enjoy their childhood not deal with the worry of adult problems.
I just don't think you will find many people that will say that everything turned out fine growing up in an alcoholic home.
Amen.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 29
I have 3 young boys - 8, 5, and 4. I am in the (very long) process of divorcing their alcoholic dad. My 8 year old knows what's up. He knows daddy drinks too much and because of that, daddy makes bad choices. He gets it. 5 and 4 just know that daddy makes bad choices and that it isn't his fault, he isn't a bad person, but that they are the most important things to mommy, and mommy has to protect them from daddy's bad choices. It sucks. Its hard. I'm terrified that I am not enough for them. That I am not a good enough mom - never mind the fact that I am mom and dad. How do I fill both those roles? How do I keep them from becoming addicts? How do I give them happy, fulfilled lives?? I think I first have to fix myself - if I am stressed and miserable, how can I support them?? Then, therapy all around. 
I am also planning on starting at a young age talking to them about drugs and alcohol - I get that they might want to drink/whatever, but they just can't do it like their friends do. I also hope to get them "into" something - a sport, a team, church - something that fulfills them enough that maybe they are not as tempted, or maybe they are so dedicated to swimming, karate, whatever, that the drinking doesn't happen.
Best laid plans and all that, right? I think all we can do is try and be strong and hopeful.
I am also planning on starting at a young age talking to them about drugs and alcohol - I get that they might want to drink/whatever, but they just can't do it like their friends do. I also hope to get them "into" something - a sport, a team, church - something that fulfills them enough that maybe they are not as tempted, or maybe they are so dedicated to swimming, karate, whatever, that the drinking doesn't happen. Best laid plans and all that, right? I think all we can do is try and be strong and hopeful.
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