jrh

Only posted once asking some thoughts about AW. Read about the 12 steps and other recommended reading. Now another night of some beer or what ever, some problems she had during the day became totally blown out of proportion which I understand can be subjective. However, crying and throwing stuff around, repeating herself some many times I got fed up.

and then words. Finally told her fed up with her drinking. It's killing me and her. Said she got out one of my pistols and was going to blow her head off. Took gun and hid it.

I don't know how to handle this. tried to get her to go to physciatrist at a detox placeand she went once with me. then she went to AA once-not her. Then she went to a psycologist for awile-didn't work. Left her for three months once and got back together-that was three years ago I think. things gradually went back to now having to come home 5-6 nights a week with her pissy attitude because she's drinking.

I don't know why this is worth it. Problem now is she's is probably getting more suicidal (she threatened it once a number of years ago and that's when she went to the psycologist). I want her to get help but really can't see how to do it and then what is she going to do to herself if I do walk. Now I really don't want to stay regardless of what she does, I see no change in her and can't waste anymore of my agining years (I;m 59 and not looking forward to starting all over again this late in what should have been our looking forward to retiring soon).

Please, anyone have some suggestions on how to handle this problem (her leaning tendency toward suicide mostly). Once past that I know pretty much where I'm going.

thanks thanks

Gabe

Hey jrh,
Welcome to Sober Recovery. I'm sorry that you are going through such rugged stuff with your wife. You're right, you can't force her into treatment. And I can see why you would be afraid to walk if she is threatening suicide.
You might try talking to her when she's sober and somewhat rational about getting some help. Other than that, there isn't anything you can do. She has to want help, if she's going to get well.
You can only take care of you. And coming here was a great first step.
I'm glad you found us. Stick around.
Gabe

Ann

jrh

I am so sorry for your pain. She really is one sad case and needs help but unless she is willing to get it there is not much you can do.

This may sound cold, but you have a lot of years left and deserve to be happy. You are not responsible for her and her choices, and sadly her choices are self-destructive whether from alcohol or guns. You don't have to go down with her.

My suggestion would be to talk to her doctor and see if she can be committed since she is threatening suicide (in Canada that would be grounds). Or ask of he has any suggestions. Do what you can and then look after yourself.

And perhaps remove the gun from the house. If they can find booze that we hide, she can find the gun.

And stick around, read anything that will help you, and know that we're here and we care.

Hugs
Ann