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21 year old daughter

Old 09-13-2014, 01:42 AM
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21 year old daughter

Daughter came home from drinking with her boyfriend at the bar, she was out of control. Yelling and belligerent. She would not be safe to be on her own at this moment so keeping watch over her. Once this last month had to 5150 her for being drunk/wasted to the point of her yelling and acting crazy and trying to choke herself. The hospital released her in like 36 hours because she was the perfect good little patient of course. Then another time this month I got a call from the cops that she was drunk and needed to be picked up. So I told myself next time I tell the cops they can put her in "drunk tank" until she sobers up.
Well now she home. I don't want to 5150 her - last month was over $7,000 just for the ambulance and the 36 hours and did her no good at all.

I don't know what to do. Right now she is too unsafe to just let her go out of the house like she screaming she wants to.

One of these days she gonna die, be killed or kill herself way too soon at the rate she is going.
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Old 09-13-2014, 03:18 AM
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Sometimes, you just have to cover your eyes and don't look!

How are you helping your daughter help herself? I see you plumping that pillow under her ass before she falls because you don't want her to hurt herself.

Remember this...

Pain drives their A Train!

When she has had enough pain in her life because of alcohol, she will stop. When the cops call, don't answer. When she's hurt don't go running. When she's been arrested and charged, don't bail her out. When she's raving like a lunatic, let her go. She wants a response and at this point, you're more than willing to give it to her.

No one can stop death from happening. Alcoholics are pretty damn lucky in the sense that most of the time, they create victims and it's usually not them.

You did not cause it.
You can not control it.
You will not cure it.

She'll stop when she's ready and not a moment sooner.

Until then, there is Alanon.
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Old 09-13-2014, 03:27 AM
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I see you are an alcoholic (recovered?) too and started at 18-45.

Do you think she is learning that alcohol may solve some of her problems and once blasted, her anger towards you being an alcoholic is coming out? I would imagine this child grew up watching you drink every day of her young life?

My statements above still stand. You need to let her deal with these issues. No one brought you to recovery yourself. You did that for you. This will be the same thing but will take a very long time to come to a head if you become her enabler.
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Old 09-13-2014, 09:33 AM
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I hear you.
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Old 09-13-2014, 07:35 PM
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I suggest Al-anon too. My meeting I attend consistently is all women and a lot of then have adult children qualifiers. It's heartbreaking but they really are doing their kids a disservice by not allowing them to suffer the consequences of their actions.

I warn my almost 3 year old all the time to not run in the house because she trips over the rugs. Of course, she doesn't listen to me, I'm just her mom, what do I know, running is much more fun than walking. Today she had a big fall after running and tripping on a rug. Guess who didn't run in the house again today... Your daughter needs to fall and scrape her knees so she'll learn that she doesn't want to do this crap anymore. You keep catching her before she gets scraped up.
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