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RO for emotional abuse??

Old 06-25-2014, 08:30 PM
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RO for emotional abuse??

Ah won't leave. Continues to make the lives of my kids and me miserable. Has anyone ever gotten a restraining order for emotional abuse?? 18 Months ago I had a temp one after he assaulted my son. I didn't know enough then to have it extended. Since then he is super careful to never touch me or threaten me. He has threatened to take my bedroom door off the hinges, he frequently walks into DD14's bedroom without knocking. Upsets her terribly. After he cleaned out all of our accounts he makes the kids and I repeatedly ask for money before giving it. My twins have their birthday next week.Ah already is planning to go to a baseball game and make them go on their BD. Three weeks ago my L sent him a letter and email requesting documents. Today he denies ever receiving them. I could go on and on.

Any advice?
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Old 06-25-2014, 08:42 PM
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It's called a harassment restraining order because it is supposed to PREVENT a situation before it reaches a worse point. You do not have to be a victim of physical violence to get one, but, given your story now, combined with a history of physical violence, threats, and addiction, you should have no trouble getting a judge to uphold one.
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Old 06-25-2014, 09:07 PM
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DB, what should I present to the magistrate? Everything? I have a couple of recordings and a journal. When I first started keeping the journal I didn't write everything down. (Would have been at it all day). Just major stuff. The last few months have more detail. I just don't want to be told, again, there's nothing that can be done. I went to the police last Saturday. He had taken my coin collection. Premarital property. They said there was nothing they could do. I went to the DV shelter. They said nothing could be done. HES REALLY wearing me down.
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Old 06-25-2014, 09:09 PM
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I ended up being the one who left. I could have gone through a bunch of paperwork and rigamorale and tried to get him removed, but really it was easier for me just to leave with the kids. He owned the house and it just wasn't worth the trouble, being in a terrible neighborhood and one step away from being condemned. I understand that this isn't an option for everyone.
Do you have a safe place to go? He sounds scary and unstable and quite frankly mentally ill to me.
Which leads me to another thought. Is there a way to have him involuntarily committed for a 72 hr psych hold? That would give you a few days to sort things out. I know this is different in some states than others. You could say he cleaned out the accounts and has been acting irrational and that you are afraid for your family's safety. Some places that might be enough.
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Old 06-25-2014, 11:36 PM
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Ugh. If you are married and it's joint property, unless you call the cops and have him arrested you have a problem.

I'm sorry I didn't read this as well as I should have. Now it sounds like he's being a jerk, not a criminal. I understand how stressful it is, but I don't know if you can force him out of your marital home. In some cases you can get in trouble for doing stuff like changing locks, or whatever. If he's drunk or belligerent, and you call the cops, you can start the process then.

Can you move away? Will he move out? If either of you changes residency, regardless of marriage, you can more easily get a tro.
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Old 06-26-2014, 04:13 AM
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Wahine, I'm in a similar situation. I think you need to talk to an attorney to see what the laws are in your area. I was talking to a friend from another state and she called the cops when her now ex was verbally threatening her property and they removed him from the house but here where I live my attorney told me it has to be more than verbal abuse to get him out of the house because the ranting and raving hasn't been an actual threat to me of bodily harm which would have made a difference. I would contact a local domestic violence shelter too if you have one in your area or a national one if you don't. I broke down and called one yesterday and they were very helpful. I really know how stressful it is and my heart goes out to you and your children.
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Old 06-26-2014, 09:07 AM
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I sent a letter to the L. I'll see what she says. The primary attorney is very aggressive and will probably come up with some action. He co-counsel has been usful at all. Primary attorney is out of town for 4 more days. I went to the police last week. Said their was nothing to charge him with. I may go to the magistrate tomorrow. I went to a DV shelter. They were not helpful. But that was several weeks ago.

Thanks for all the nice post. Most people you talk to about this stuff and they act like your just whiny.
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Old 06-26-2014, 09:29 AM
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You are NOT being whiny! This is a serious form of abuse to both you and your children. It is not appropriate for him to walk in on your DD either, it affords her no privacy while changing clothes, etc. I have a DD of the same age and her father would never do that.

I am so sorry. I encourage you to call the NATIONAL DV hotline. I have heard others say they are much more efficient. Also, how did he say he did not receive papers? Here you have papers served and you have to sign for them.

I would put my foot down with your L also. If he is going to give his co council any of the work on your case, you deserve that person to be efficient. If not, I would not allow it. You hired the attorney, not he or she's assistant.

Stay the course. Be careful, he sounds like a nut.
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