Butterfly

Thank you everyone for your replies. I suppose it's just the reality of a Saturday night and nowhere to go. Normally I would stay at home and watch what I want read a book and just relax or go to a friends. Where I live there is not much to do shops are closed on a Saturday night and the thought of going for a meal or the cinema on my own scares me I've never done that before and think everyone will look at the sad person on her own on a Saturday night lol

I am very grateful for my close friends and wouldn't want loads of friends who don't care about me

I am. Beginning to enjoy being on my own but this is the first time I've been faced with having to go out on my own on a Saturday night.

Live

I loved dining out alone and would always take a book with me and then spend my time very leisurely.

Stung

"What other people think of me is none of my business." I like that saying and think it applies here. Plus, everyone is too consumed with their own lives to wonder why a random woman is not accompanied by someone at night on a weekend. I mean this nicely, but no one cares, everyone is too busy being caught up in their own lives. Plus, doing stuff alone from time to time is actually normal, believe it or not. Again, I think a few hours alone would be heavenly. If you saw me, a otherwise normal looking lady at the movies by myself you wouldn't think I was sad or a weirdo.

Butterfly

Very true thanks

Worried0810

And you never know - there might be somone else out on their own and you could make a new friend! There's nothing wrong with sitting by yourself! I can't wait to do it when I move - grab a toastie and a cup of tea and relax. You've got all the time in the world, don't bother about what anybody else thinks! If they're wondering what you're doing - they've clearly got a boring life!

NYCDoglvr

What saved my sanity was Alanon and the incredible support from people who had walked in my shoes. Learned to shift my thinking to "one day at a time": it's only today I have to get through, tomorrow will be different. And learned to be a best friend to myself. If you start going to meetings life will get a lot better. You really aren't alone, we're here.

involved

I was in that funk on fathers day. I dont have a father, my kids were all around but with their dad (my ex) friends were all busy and I was having a pitty party! Then it dawned on me that I was the only one holding myself back! So I went to an old local icecream takeout establishment that is going out of business at the end of the season! I have been waiting for someone to accompany poor poor pitiful me to funally eat there before it closes its doors for good! 51 years old and I have only once in my life gone to the movies alone! (And thats because they were fumigating the building I lived in and couldnt sit home) Or sat in a sit down resturant and ate alone! I think whats lonlier than being alone, is sitting across from someone that you have nothing to say to...just get out there! Baby steps!

Brindie

Hello Confused - I have learned over many years to be comfortable in my own company, but going out alone takes a bit of practice. Here are a couple of tips from experience to help you make a plan for next Saturday. I see you're in the UK, so if you decide to treat yourself to a nice meal, I'd suggest - if you're in a city - a nice restaurant in a shopping mall when the shops close. So an early 6 ish dinner. Or a later dinner in a hotel restaurant. Reason is in both these situations it is much more likely you will be surrounded by other solo diners, so you won't feel so 'obvious' and will be able to relax more. Booking a table at a nice restaurant where you'll be surrounded by couples or groups reinforces for me the sense of 'I'm all alone'. But the other two are quite comfortable choices to get started with. Take a book or magazine - it helps to avoid the pressure to 'get it over with', and you will have dinner at a more leisurely pace. Make sure you have a plan to get home safely too. Taxi? This stuff is easier said than done, so I hope my little tips help, and all the best.

Butterfly

Thank you brindie those tips are very useful and I wouldn't have thought of those. There is nothing worse than being somewhere with other couples and your right it makes you feel more alone.

Neeko123

I am going through divorce right now. I am 30 and haven't been single since I was 15. So half of my life has been with a partner. I am also a single mom of a little girl. It's definitely difficult getting use to being single. It's also hard when you see other happy families around. But, I have discovered that it's easier to feel lonely because you are alone rather than lonely even in a relationship.

I am taking time to myself before I jump back into the dating scene to get comfortable being by myself. If I am comfortable on my own, than I won't feel pressured to jump into an unhealthy relationship just because I don't want to be alone. I actually dated someone for 3 months, and that ended because he ended up being a closet alcoholic. I don't want that to happen again.

I've joined a few groups on meetup.com. That way I have events to look forward to and get to meet new friends. On days I am alone, I usually try and pamper myself. Get a hair cut, do my nails, etc. I also enjoy going out, getting food, and bringing it home to relax and watch a favorite show. I have also started going on walks and jogging.

I am also in counseling to try and put together myself and my life. I have really devoted this newly found single life to working on myself and becoming happy with who I am. That way in the future if the right person comes along I am a healthy person.