Anyone have experience with this?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: nh
Posts: 339
Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy 
Are you aware of my experience w the court system & my attempts to change this for the last yr? I'm asking go in all sincerity. I'm guessing not bc if so you'd not have posted this.
.
Yes, I have read your back story...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
I spent years bending over backwards to accommodate the XH to have the kids in the holidays during his numerous times of unemployment.
It was unsettling for the children & I as we never knew what was happening despite my efforts to try to make plans with him.
My XH had written into the parenting agreement we had he share half the holidays yet when it came time to he never did.
After years of this & lots of text bullying/abuse from him I applied to the court for counselling to sort out our issues.
Now I'm in a completely different country to you but I was able to go through counselling which he had to take part in but chose to have separate sessions & this was a free service. Then the parenting agreement was altered at no cost to either of us.
Unfortunately he would not agree to anything regarding any of the holidays so it was taken out & noted it wasn't agreed upon.
Some countries have free court services in way of counselling or mediation.
Could you contact the court to find out?
Now I am battling custody issues 7 years later after court proceedings were started against me & it is my belief that once the court have set down an "order" the only way to change it is to go through a lawyer.
Alternatively though maybe you could apply to the court to have changes made & represent yourself?
I must tell you that after all this & my XH trying to get shared custody after returning from living abroad for 21/2 years that we had him agree to half the holidays then when he got a job he wouldn't sign & won't commit. Says it all really.
I sympathize with the disruption particularly when you're a working Mum like I am who has to plan just to operate on a daily basis.
Hang in there.
It was unsettling for the children & I as we never knew what was happening despite my efforts to try to make plans with him.
My XH had written into the parenting agreement we had he share half the holidays yet when it came time to he never did.
After years of this & lots of text bullying/abuse from him I applied to the court for counselling to sort out our issues.
Now I'm in a completely different country to you but I was able to go through counselling which he had to take part in but chose to have separate sessions & this was a free service. Then the parenting agreement was altered at no cost to either of us.
Unfortunately he would not agree to anything regarding any of the holidays so it was taken out & noted it wasn't agreed upon.
Some countries have free court services in way of counselling or mediation.
Could you contact the court to find out?
Now I am battling custody issues 7 years later after court proceedings were started against me & it is my belief that once the court have set down an "order" the only way to change it is to go through a lawyer.
Alternatively though maybe you could apply to the court to have changes made & represent yourself?
I must tell you that after all this & my XH trying to get shared custody after returning from living abroad for 21/2 years that we had him agree to half the holidays then when he got a job he wouldn't sign & won't commit. Says it all really.
I sympathize with the disruption particularly when you're a working Mum like I am who has to plan just to operate on a daily basis.
Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
I think she's still trying to get the divorce finalized.
But, I do find it really hard to believe that not a single daycare center in town has before/after school care. even in small towns like we have nearby there are centers that can transport to school. Or maybe I'm just living in a bubble.
But, I do find it really hard to believe that not a single daycare center in town has before/after school care. even in small towns like we have nearby there are centers that can transport to school. Or maybe I'm just living in a bubble.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by pixilation
I think she's still trying to get the divorce finalized.
But, I do find it really hard to believe that not a single daycare center in town has before/after school care. even in small towns like we have nearby there are centers that can transport to school. Or maybe I'm just living in a bubble.
But, I do find it really hard to believe that not a single daycare center in town has before/after school care. even in small towns like we have nearby there are centers that can transport to school. Or maybe I'm just living in a bubble.
I had a polite argument w my school district superintendent about this when my older child began 1st grade.
I live in a very wealthy town (I'm not wealthy) and child care and after school care is hard to find let alone before school care. Most kids are dropped off by their stay at home moms or nannies.
There isn't a before school program here. Believe it or not. If there were the judge wouldn't have ordered the kids dad to drive them to school and have that be his parenting time.
I have a friend who could take my daughter to school for me but it's a non issue bc I am not "allowed" to since it's his parenting time in the am.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
Wow, so I am just in a bubble. that is insane! Not only is there a program run in the schools via the YMCA here, but most center based childcare centers have transportation.
It's probably the cost of living difference though.
You make me glad once again though that my STBX(very soon, papers are filed) can't drive. and can barely be bothered to parent his one weekend a month, as the kids come home unbathed, wearing the same clothes they left in on Friday, and reeking of cigarette smoke.
It's probably the cost of living difference though.
You make me glad once again though that my STBX(very soon, papers are filed) can't drive. and can barely be bothered to parent his one weekend a month, as the kids come home unbathed, wearing the same clothes they left in on Friday, and reeking of cigarette smoke.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Honestly I was SHOCKED to find there was nothing before school. I assumed there was and the superintendent told me the boys and girls club had contracted and had one program in the schools years ago and no one used it.
I don't know what these parents do for work to not need before school care here but for me I guess being unemployed will be good only bc I'll be able to drop my kids off!
This town I live in is pretentious and out of touch w reality.
It's not a place I like. I grew up here and never ever wanted to move back
Maybe my job loss is an opportunity to move away finally. Silver lining perhaps....
I don't know what these parents do for work to not need before school care here but for me I guess being unemployed will be good only bc I'll be able to drop my kids off!
This town I live in is pretentious and out of touch w reality.
It's not a place I like. I grew up here and never ever wanted to move back
Maybe my job loss is an opportunity to move away finally. Silver lining perhaps....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 609
I know you dont understand it now but maybe you are meant for something better! When my AH and I first separated I was laid off. I thought God was so cruel.
Then I got hired by a previous employer who was more family friendly. This boss and group of co workers eventually became a major support system when I went through my long cancer battle...
Try to see take a breath, hug your kids and see the positive....more will be revealed in time!
Then I got hired by a previous employer who was more family friendly. This boss and group of co workers eventually became a major support system when I went through my long cancer battle...
Try to see take a breath, hug your kids and see the positive....more will be revealed in time!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 95
wantstobe, have you ever thought about running off to another state? I read some of your back posts and it seems your ex-husband has his influence throughout the school and criminal justice system. It's good to see your kids getting the help they need. Your ex seems to have mental health issues.
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