A ring is on the way. What to do?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: indiana
Posts: 158
I will speak to the money situation as it is relatable. I met my wife 4.5 years ago and at the time she had bad credit including some repos and old medical bills for a substantial amount of bad debt. She was also terrible about managing her money and is very wasteful. At the time I didn't really care as we were in the honeymoon phase and I've always been a generous person.
Over the years her poor money management has gotten worse. I pay all the bills, nights out, vacations, etc. Over time I have become very resentful of her selfish behavior. I lost respect for her and her inability to grow up and manage her money/debt, and contribute to our family's growth financially. This has slowly eroded our relationship.
Unfortunately these type of basic knowledge/abilities/desires don't change much for a person. No more "fixer upper" relationships for me, be careful not to head down a similar path.
Over the years her poor money management has gotten worse. I pay all the bills, nights out, vacations, etc. Over time I have become very resentful of her selfish behavior. I lost respect for her and her inability to grow up and manage her money/debt, and contribute to our family's growth financially. This has slowly eroded our relationship.
Unfortunately these type of basic knowledge/abilities/desires don't change much for a person. No more "fixer upper" relationships for me, be careful not to head down a similar path.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: indiana
Posts: 158
Originally Posted by NWGRITS 
I was on my phone earlier, but I wanted to come back and post a bit more now that I'm on a computer. You've gotten some great insight here. And as another person said, even without him being an A, I'd say run. Sure, some guys are "just like that." And they're losers. They don't have to be addicts to be crappy guys. And crappy guys make crappy husbands. He isn't going to magically change because you get married. If anything, those cracks in your relationship are going to be magnified.
Also, creditors will start coming after YOU to make good on HIS debts. That's fun, lemme tell ya. I didn't know until I married my ex-husband, that he owed the government $40,000 from a contract bonus he received and then failed to fulfill the contract. I had earmarked our tax refund for other things that needed taking care of, and it all got eaten by his debts. I was LIVID. Then the whole thing started unraveling. He was so in debt and I was on the hook for all of it because I was his wife. Are you ready for that?
Also, creditors will start coming after YOU to make good on HIS debts. That's fun, lemme tell ya. I didn't know until I married my ex-husband, that he owed the government $40,000 from a contract bonus he received and then failed to fulfill the contract. I had earmarked our tax refund for other things that needed taking care of, and it all got eaten by his debts. I was LIVID. Then the whole thing started unraveling. He was so in debt and I was on the hook for all of it because I was his wife. Are you ready for that?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Actions NOT words.......you need some time to see if his actions are going to match his promises - words. That takes some time. Sure you are voicing all your concerns now and he's getting frustrated - tells you something doesn't it.
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