Upsetnneedhelp

[QUOTE=choublak;4290373]Maybe I found it distracting? She said she had physical therapists, speech therapists and occupational therapists coming to her house. I wonder who paid for that. It's none of my business, but it being none of my business doesn't stop me from wondering about it.

You can't always judge a book by it's cover. I once knew a multi-millionare who drove a fairly used Honda Accord and dressed down to blue jeans and old gym shoes. He wouldn't shave on the weekends and looked like a man down on his luck. After talking to him you could get a sense that he was educated though.

LindaLou

OMG! The first time I went to an AA meeting I had the wrong meeting - it was Alanon. Once I realized my mistake, they welcomed me to stay and I did. Listening to them it really hit home how my drinking affected my family. I got to see things from the other side. We put our families through hell when we drink/use.

amy55

I have walked around the block many times before responding to this. I strongly believe that people are people, I will not put a label on anyone. If someone is seeking a meeting for help, it would not bother me if they went to the wrong meeting. They are seeking help. They made the effort, and if someone reached out to this person, talk, offer help, or assistance, then kudos to them.

I have been on both side of the fence, so to speak, and no matter what side of the fence I was on, I got support and love from both sides.

Perhaps she really did mean to go to that meeting, perhaps she was a double winner, but she wanted to be truthful at that meeting about herself?????? This really is a possibility. Also if a person is hurt or injured, they need help, I wouldn't be questioning who is paying for it.

For me, I would give a person the same respect if they were a millionaire, or a bum on the streets. We are all people. We all have problems. We all need support and love and caring.

choublak

The only reason I was wondering who paid for it was because she made a comment about the physical therapists and such being "so giving of their time"...a comment which made me think "that sounds like something I might have said, way back in the day when mommy and daddy paid for everything for me, before I actually understood the concept of being financially responsible"...I don't care how much money anyone has or doesn't have. The comment just made me wonder if she "gets" that someone had to pay for that. Or maybe she's rich and paid for it all herself. Either way, I have the same compassion for her and anyone else reaching out for help.

fairlyuncertain

This happened once at a meeting I attended. A young man came in, upset that his girlfriend had made him move out, wouldn't let him see their child. He had this idea that attending meetings would make her see him in a better light, so things could just go back to normal.

I truly appreciated that, seeing a newly sober person I was not connected to, just deciding that sitting in a meeting could get him what he wanted, he didn't seem to see the effect he had, at all. It reminded me of how much alcohol screws up people's thinking. I also know As who've come to open al-anon meetings to check out the other side--and realized they belonged there, as well.

heathersweeds

Might have been a mistake on her end, but as my sponsor always says,God never makes mistakes. You might be witnessing her higher power working in HER life

Zube

You're kind of judgmental. Are all Alanon's like that?

Zube

Hammer

Yep. We absolutely hates them A's.

And each other.

And ourselves.

Hates 'em all.

THAT is how we roll.


============

Real deal. Folks that tend to stress or focus on others, usually have some work to do on themselves that they just are not up to yet.

DOES THAT maybe sound more like ALL of us?

I know that is how things work in my head.

Joe Nerv

When I was studying to be a counselor we were required to attend several alanon meetings. I shared early on at one that I was an alcoholic being required to attend due counseling courses I was taking, but that I was also involved at the time with someone in recovery, and had active alcoholic siblings. Said too that it was advised by many that I have a go at alanon, and I was happy to be there. They actually paused the meeting to declare that it was no longer a closed meeting as there was someone there with ulterior motives (I don't remember their exact words, but that was the gust of it). I never felt so I unwelcomed in my life. I was a bit pissed too as I felt they didn't listen to a word I said passed what I said about my class. Needless to say, I didn't return to that group.

I know, a little OT, but the thread title kicked up the memory.

readerbaby71

It's really none of your concern who was paying for what or why she was there.

Hammer

Good points.

I know at one Alanon meeting I attend, that is actually VERY FRIENDLY and open . . . internally, had a "Problem" with Nursing Students being sent to "observe" and (egad) take notes, and then go back and discuss them.

That had all occurred before I started into that group, but what they did was formally contact the Head of that College Nursing Department. Did not so much give them a Cease and Desist order, but more like "Stop and Get a Freakin' Brain."

Tradition 12 is not in the mix just for Funs and Games.


Al-Anon's Twelve Traditions

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.

==========

Here is the AA side of the same coin >>>


12 Traditions Checklist AA | Alcoholics Anonymous | 12 Traditions


Tradition Twelve: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Questions for Tradition 12:

1. Why is it good idea for me to place the common welfare of all AA members before individual welfare? What would happen to me if AA as a whole disappeared?

2. When I do not trust AA’s current servants, who do I wish had the authority to straighten them out?

3. In my opinions of and remarks about other AAs, am I implying membership requirements other than a desire to stay sober?

4. Do I ever try to get a certain AA group to conform to my standards, not its own?

5. Have I a personal responsibility in helping an AA group fulfill its primary purpose? What is my part?

6. Does my personal behavior reflect the Sixth Tradition—or belie it?

7. Do I do all I can do to support AA financially? When is the last time I anonymously gave away a Grapevine subscription?

8. Do I complain about certain AAs’ behavior—especially if they are paid to work for AA? Who made me so smart?

9. Do I fulfill all AA responsibilities in such a way as to please privately even my own conscience? Really?

10. Do my utterances always reflect the Tenth Tradition, or do I give AA critics real ammunition?

11. Should I keep my AA membership a secret, or reveal it in private conversation when that may help another alcoholic (and therefore me)? Is my brand of AA so attractive that other drunks want it?

12. What is the real importance of me among more than a million AAs?

choublak

I don't know, but something got us all where we are now.

choublak

Well I'm sorry you had that experience. Not all meetings are like that. That's some passive aggressive I don't know what.

choublak

You're right, it isn't, but I'm nosy and that's how I roll.