choublak

I'm not talking about "double winners" either. There was a woman who I think had the wrong room today. She was talking about her most recent mishap and how all these health professionals came to her house and how this time was going to be different but that she'd said that before. It was a little weird.

Anyone else experience this in meetings?

Seren

Mr. S and I wandered into an AA meeting accidentally. It was being held in the same building at the same time as the Al-Anon meeting. Once we realized our mistake, we quietly slipped out--we did not 'share' during the meeting.

Interestingly, there were many more people in that AA meeting than in the Al-Anon meeting we finally found that night.

honeypig

I find this to be the case when I have attended a meeting where AA was held at the same time, too. There are MANY more AA meetings (I would say at least 3 times as many) listed on the respective websites for my area, taking place at a wide varieties of times during the day and evening. I almost envy the AA people, as they have so much more to choose from.

choublak

This particular meeting is held at the same time as the AA meeting...AA is held upstairs and Al-Anon downstairs.

I felt kind of bad for the lady, which, I believe after the meeting some people were talking to her, so that's good I guess...she seemed vulnerable and probably could've benefitted from the AA meeting...BUT as she was sitting there sharing her story, I couldn't help but think, people (in Al-Anon) hear enough of that at home, they're not trying to come to a meeting to hear more of it!

I know, I know. Keep my side of the street clean and don't take anyone else's inventory. But it still kind of bugged me.

ippochick

i'm ippochick and i'm an alcoholic.

someone in my AA meeting on monday said he ought to be in Alanon to learn about living with himself. hopefully the lady in question felt safe enough even if she realised her error.

our meeting next monday is a joint one with alanon. i'm nervous, somehow. i feel like even though i have admitted my alcoholism, it's still going to be hard to hear things from the other side. i have a teenage daughter who is living with her dad at the moment who i am trying hard to put things right with - so hearing Alanon stories, hard as it may be, is vital for me to understand the hurt and damage i've caused.

when i first joined SR, before i found AA, i felt offended and slighted at the stories on this part of the forum. now i am accepting of the wrongs i have done, i am in awe of the strength and fortitude of the people here.

i don't know where i'm going with this, so i'll leave it there. i hope everyone can find some peace.

Recovering2

We had a guy who obviously thought he was in an AA meeting, even though all the introductory stuff talked about AlAnon etc. He did share, and it was kind of a crazy thinking share. We were respectful, thanked him for his share, and moved on. After the meeting, 2 of the men in our group talked to him and gave him info on the AA meeting. It didn't bother me, or seem to bother others. I gave the guy credit for trying to find a meeting.
I heard a speaker in an open AA meeting talk about going to AlAnon. He said AA taught him how to be sober....AlAnon taught him how to live.

choublak

Maybe I found it distracting? She said she had physical therapists, speech therapists and occupational therapists coming to her house. I wonder who paid for that. It's none of my business, but it being none of my business doesn't stop me from wondering about it.

She also had a black and blue bruise around her eye.

I don't know, it distracted me.

Mightyqueen801

I can understand that. I remember attending an AA meeting with an A friend and getting angry at some of the stories I heard, from my codie perspective. Now that time has passed, I think and I hope I would be more tolerant.

I have wished sometimes that there was a space where As and Al-Anon people could interact, but it would only work when all parties were well along in their recoveries.

Hammer

(chorus): Hi, ippochick.

(that is so cool. JUST LIKE A REAL MEETING, huh?)

That is pretty cool, too. A real joint meeting. Sounds like a Soccer Brawl in the making. Wear padded clothes in case a fight breaks out. Joking (I hope that was obvious). Really sounds like an interesting idea.

I so wish that Mrs. Hammer could just get a little comprehension and apologize for some of her crazy stuff. I do not think she understands that we all would so accept that and fully welcome her. As things are -- they stay guarded. I watch the kids flinch when it looks like she may blow up about anything.

Do the Step Stuff, Do the Amends. Claim the Promises. They are PROMISES. They will be yours. God does not return Void from His side.

PROMISES AA Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Step Promises of AA 12 Steps

Sounds like progress for everyone on all sides in that regard. You know we all REALLY LOVE and admire the AA-siders who work their program, too?

I think you went right where you were lead. Good on that, and all the Peace and Love of the Program to you and your family, too.

and hey, ps. Maybe ask dad what he would think of Alateen for your daughter. My daughter loved it, and our son has now gone to it for two weeks and loves it, too.

Hammer

Something I have learned to do at meetings? Take my glasses off. I cannot see to read, and cannot even see really clearly all the people. Helps me JUST LISTEN. Sadly I had to learn that from a Blind Lady. But it was a Great Learning.

Funny version of your OP. A clearly addled AA wandered in to an Alanon meeting. I guess thinking it was AA (next door).

Cute, 20 something, was chatting me after the meeting. Said she had been sober about 10 months, and was having a hard time trying to do the program as an Atheist, and asking if I could help with/as a sponsor.

I gave her Mrs. Hammer's name and number. Mrs. Hammer claims an Atheist standing, as well. Figure let them fight fire with fire.

God must think all this stuff is pretty funny.

Leana

I wandered into a bereavement group for spouses once while looking for another group. I was there a good 15 minutes before I figured it out and then knowing I would be late for my group, I just jumped up and said "I'm so sorry for your loss everyone but I'm not supposed to be here."

One sweet lady said "yes, honey you are so young to be going through this!" Then I was really embarrassed and told them I had the wrong room.

And then the same lady says "well, when it happens we're here for you!!!" I just started laughing. I could not stop. I don't know why, I felt like an idiot.

So in answer to your question, I am sure it happens a lot.

choublak

I have a big guilt complex and feel guilty around alcoholics.

soberhawk

Why?

ippochick

hammer - thank you so much. i was dithering about whether to tell my husband about the joint meeting - i just invited him.

if anyone is interested i could maybe post back next week to let you all know how it went?

choublak

Because I used to try and "punish" the A in my life, back before I knew better.

SparkleKitty

I think that would be swell -- thank you!

Carlotta

She might have been a double winner in active addiction. A lot of alcoholic women have alcoholic partners.
I am glad you guys were kind to her. This has never happened at any meeting I ve been at but if it did, I would just approach the person after the meeting and give them an Al Anon or AA meeting book (I carry both) and my phone number if it was a lady and explain gently that they might benefit more from the other fellowship.
It is very difficult for newcomers to take the plunge and go to their first meeting whether it s AA or Al Anon, no need for them to feel stupid for ending in the "wrong" room.

choublak

Maybe...she did say something about her husband finally letting her have the car, and how he's sweet...so who knows.

LadyinBC

Even though I am an alcoholic I love this family forum. It reminds of the person I don't want to be anymore. Reading others stories helps remind me what it was like for me when my mom drank and how it must have been for my daughter when I drank.

This really is a family disease and in a way we are all in this together. You can learn so much from each side.

Where I live there are lots of AA/addicitons programs, not that many for the family members. Yes there is a stigma to being an alcholic, but there is alo a big one for the family as well. Especially spouses that stay with the addict.

wiscsober

We have a sign on the door designating our Alanon meeting.