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For the guys - The Empathetic Male With the Narcissist Female

Old 09-25-2013, 05:19 PM
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For the guys - The Empathetic Male With the Narcissist Female

Hi All,

This was posted on another group and I just read it. HOLY #*&%#! for me this was my xagf to a T. The only difference is instead of me paying for stuff, I did stuff, like put her bed together, helped her move, installed a dog door for her, etc etc

The Empathetic Male with the Narcissistic Female | Lisa E. Scott

Just like the article she had broken up with all her bfs, no one had ever broken up with her!? why oh why didn't I call her out on her bs or even see these flags? I broke up with her and I'm sure she's telling the next guy she broke up with me. Just like the article she had backups, just like the article she used her sexuality, and was not empathetic.

I'm not saying everyone's alcoholic wife/gf/x is a female narcissist, but mine sure is. Reading this has definitely opened my eyes.

Wow...look out!
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Old 09-25-2013, 05:37 PM
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Narcissism isn't owned by either gender. I've known both male and female narcissists. I wonder what would happen if a female narcissist married a male narcissist.
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Old 09-25-2013, 05:47 PM
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Yep, isn't gender specific. The article is though =P. Match made in heaven? lol I have no idea and don't care as long as I drop them like a hot potato. Gives new meaning to the words run hard and fast.
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Old 09-26-2013, 05:26 AM
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Narcissists use whatever method works.

Don't blame yourself; just strive for self-awareness so you can see the flags next time around.
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Old 09-26-2013, 08:48 AM
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That would be my parents. Both exhibiting narcissistic traits. Which came first the chicken or the egg? Were they narcissistic or did they just have the traits?
Does it matter? Nope...same results.

Mother--codie to tyrannical raging abusive father.
Then mom became a falling over drunk. Then a sober minister.
Dad died as angry as a barnyard dog.
Mom's amends were--out of the blue with no references--"You do believe in forgiveness right?"
"yes" I squeak.
"WELL THEN!" in that tone of voice implying I am not living up to her expectations. End of discussion.
Wow, as amends go, those were amazing, eh?
Think of Archie Bunker as physically abusive, and Edith as an alcoholic.

Everyday was physically and emotionally abusive and chaotic in my house growing up, and I had no idea that other people didn't live in a war zone.
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Old 09-26-2013, 08:52 AM
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Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
I wonder what would happen if a female narcissist married a male narcissist.


You would see my parents leaving a church and getting into a car that says "Just Married".
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Old 09-27-2013, 11:21 PM
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A friend talked to me today about her male friend (past roomate) who's new fiance has a problem with her.

I tried to explain to her how this woman is insecure and that she hasn't done anything to make this women jealous and overprotective.

Her friend and his fiance met 6 months ago, and already they have purchased a house together. He tells my friend they can't talk or e-mail anymore because his new fiance monitors his e-mail. I started laughing, I couldn't help it.

So look at the number this woman is pulling on him (i'm sure he's so enamored as many of us have been).

1) she got him to buy a house together, now he can't escape
2) she monitors his email, probably based on "my exs cheated on me, it would make me feel safe", he goes "ok baby, np", but the reality is she now has another hook in him to manipulate him with.
3) and they are getting married fast

She has herself another victim.
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Old 09-27-2013, 11:32 PM
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I have a male friend that I've been close to for over 30 years. Any and all of the relationships I've had through the years have been under the condition that he is a life-long friend and that if he and I wanted to be together, we would have been together long ago. So, there is no reason to be jealous or suspicious of our friendship. Some of the men I have been in a relationship with have understood that and some have not. It's no skin off my nose. He and I are still close friends and he is living with a woman that seems to be good for him and I am thrilled.

Everyone carries some baggage from past relationships. If the person you are currently with cannot accept that, then my advice is to not tie yourself legally to that person.
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Old 09-28-2013, 08:42 AM
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being in my 12 step program...i see crazies coming...*shakes head* and THANKS to my HP that i can!!
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Old 09-28-2013, 09:25 AM
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Good article.

Nearly living it.
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Old 09-28-2013, 02:43 PM
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Originally Posted by ZenMe View Post
A friend talked to me today about her male friend (past roomate) who's new fiance has a problem with her.

I tried to explain to her how this woman is insecure and that she hasn't done anything to make this women jealous and overprotective.

Her friend and his fiance met 6 months ago, and already they have purchased a house together. He tells my friend they can't talk or e-mail anymore because his new fiance monitors his e-mail. I started laughing, I couldn't help it.

So look at the number this woman is pulling on him (i'm sure he's so enamored as many of us have been).

1) she got him to buy a house together, now he can't escape
2) she monitors his email, probably based on "my exs cheated on me, it would make me feel safe", he goes "ok baby, np", but the reality is she now has another hook in him to manipulate him with.
3) and they are getting married fast

She has herself another victim.
I'm sure I'm probably being a bit thick and just haven't fully understood the point but I can't see how anyone can make someone buy a house or make them marry them? Sounds really similar to the sort of stuff my RA would say when he was drinking "you made me but the house to trap me!"
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