choublak

In some cases, it was a bakery when you entered, and while you were inside, morphed into a hardware store. Or, the sign outside on the building said "bakery" and so you went inside and it was actually a hardware store.

Florence

Or you saw that the sign said "Hardware Store" and said NAH! Can't be! and walked in anyway.

I think it's easy to pretend that "people" (i.e. the people who mysteriously screwed you over and with whom you nurtured dysfunction) change.

Take responsibility for your role in openly entering into dysfunctional relationships so you can make the choice NOT to in an empowered and informed way.

Maybe you didn't recognize the difference between the bakery and the hardware store, but now you do. C'est la vie. But this reads like blame-shifting.

m1k3

Being able to tell the difference for me really started with detachment and seeing reality as it is. The funny things is that as I learned how to detach I ended up having to take responsibility for my own actions.

Your friend.

FireSprite

OR - the sign out front was in a language you didn't understand & you interpreted it to mean Bakery based on your own perceptions only to find out you were wrong once inside... and by then you were lost because you still couldn't read the signs & find the one that says "EXIT".

firebolt

I think I just thought they might have a bread maker on sale..

catlovermi

My hardware store sells breadmakers (and coffee makers and blenders, etc.). Even washing machines and refrigerators, nowadays. At a HARDWARE store.

But no bread.

DG0409

One of our hardware stores has popcorn sometimes, perhaps that will do?

marie1960

"The funny things is that as I learned how to detach I ended up having to take responsibility for my own actions." ( Mike)

^^^^ yes, yes, yes^^^^^^^^^^^

What i am currently learning/feeling/ experiencing (two years after the fact) is the more i reach down deep inside of myself and accept responsibility for my choices, and the role I played in the addicts life, the better I feel.

While, I would never recommend getting involved with an addict, I have to admit these past two years of self discovery has been an eye opening amazing ride.

Everything for a reason.

And while I have so much empathy for those currently struggling with living with an addict, I can honestly say, it doesn't have to ALWAYS be the way it is today. You just have to take a leap of faith and really believe in YOURSELF.

ShootingStar1

All of the above is true AND I believe that sometimes people just really do change.

Maybe in the bakery I went to, the bread just kept getting harder and harder and at some point, unknown to me, it turned inedible then it turned into paperweights, then it turned into door stops.

By then all my teeth were filed down and gone and I thought eating cruel gruel was what people did.

When the bread finally turned into boat anchors and I saw that not only was I not getting nourished, I was going down drowning for the third time, I got the point.

It t'ain't necessarily so that the entry point is the start of the problem.

ShootingStar1

jessicajoe

I think I thought I could bake in the hardware store.

HopefulinFLA

There was a bread salesman outside the hardware store
who assured me there was plenty of bread inside
so I went in. Still looking for bread. Never believe a
salesman, they're all liars.

Hammer

Mine said "formally a hardware store. Now under new management. Yes, we have bread."

She was in AA, 4 years when we met, did another few, and then relapsed.

Got to meet the old landlord when the lease expired.

choublak

How so?

nbay2013

I don't blame myself for walking in the the hardware store for bread. I take no responsibility for that because the sign clearly said "BREAD". However, I do take responsibility for trying to talk management into changing the store into a Bakery. And when he refused, I kept insisting. I wrote proposals, and brought him literature, and bread, and refused to leave the store. Finally, he kicked me out.

LOL...fun post. Thanks.

martina12

nbay you have just told my very sad story too....

hisimage48

For me: " I can change it into a bakery! Surely this store doesn't want to be a hardware store".

That is just me though.

JenT1968

I was brought up to believe that you can get bread in a hardware store. I didn't know you couldn't, I thought everyone did. when I went to a hardware store that advertised it was selling bread - that didn't seem strange, they didn't have any that day but the crumbs were there, they gave me a small cake, and they promised a delivery would be in the next day. sometimes there was some bread, a tiny bit, a bit off perhaps, but that was my fault for being late, I had to put the work in and get there earlier, prioritise getting to the hardware store, compromise more, and it was quite like the bread from childhood - not like some other people rave about - but you know I still had a lot of people telling me that I was lucky to have found that hardware store.

I know better now, which is a great relief, because I understand false advertising, lies and trading standards and can choose to go to a lovely bakery with a proven track record of bread delivery. This isn't about avoiding responsibility, I walked into the situation, and didn't get out soon enough, but it wasn't eyes open, my vision was clouded by filters of my upbringing, and popular culture. we do as well as we know how, when we know better, we do better.

BuffaloGal

I thought to myself, more or less, "I can make bread, can't everybody?" and strolled on in. I had no idea it mattered what kind of store it was! Hmm, in fact everyone can't bake.

foolsgold66

Wow. I usually don't come in this forum, but the title drew me in. I knew us drunks drove friends and family crazy, but I was trippin till I got through the first couple posts. (Yeah, I get it now).

Best to all, I gotta head back and work on fixing my crazy some more now.

MTSlideAddict

The bakery I went to was at a nice part of town and decorated with wonderful artwork. It was a small bakery at the time and they sold me some bread that may have had a nail or two in it, but I saw the potential. I felt that by becoming involved in the bakery’s business I would help mold them to a great big bakery that I saw them to be capable of being offering lots of delicious bread and even pastries. They had all this ambition and they promised to listen to my advice, but despite my persistence they found their own way to conduct business. I loved that bakery, and I didn’t even recognize at the time that the bakery blueprint was a carbon copy of my father’s hardware store. As time went on the bread from this bakery continued to have nails baked in them. Some of them even rusty. Throughout the years this bakery turned into a hardware store very much similar to my fathers. I pushed and argued for that hardware store to turn back to the bakery that I had dreamed of, but nothing worked. Now I’m just trying to bake my own bread.