LUCAN

September 5, 1993 married my beautiful wife. September 5, 2013 will probably celebrate with only my 13 year old daughter because my wife will either be drunk or pissed at me because I confronted her about being drunk again. She lies to me but more to herself. She is lying to me directly about not having her precious bottle of wine tucked in her bed. It's her bed in her room because she has no use for her "perfect" husband.

Our bedroom has been my room now for most of a year. Apparently she needs her space (drinking space). I'm in the midst of doubling my business, at the same time I'm wondering if her drinking will ruin us and send me into bankruptcy. Try taking that to the bank. I've got investors pushing me for answers and I don't even know if I'm having an anniversary dinner with my wife. This is awesome. She's so helpful.

I seriously doubt we'll see our 22nd.

Cheers,

dandylion

LUCAN, she is not drinking to hurt you--yes, you are hurting--but, her motivation to drink is because she is an alcoholic. That is the only way she can "quiet" the powerful physical discomfort and the mental compulsion (powerful) compulsion to drink. A drink feels like "survival" for her.

Total abstainence is the only thing that can put this into remission for the alcoholic. That will be in her hands. That decision will have to come from within her--when (or if) it comes. There is nothing m ore that you can do--except get out of her way--and save yourself and child.

Have you thought of alateen for your daughter, by the way? Perhaps, you have addressed this--but I didn't go all the way back with your posts..sorry.

I know that this is hard.

dandylion

Hammer

LUCAN -- thanks for the look-ahead.

We are at 13 years, dunno if we will see 14.

You doing Alanon? Good Stuff. Yes, You DO have the time. If you have the time to deal with her bs, you have the time to do something useful for you and the kid(s?). And a Clear Mind helps a LOT in business.

Like dandy said. Look at Alateen for your daughter. Our daughter is 11 and it has helped her a lot.

Hammer

btw, after some Extra Bonus Chaos and a Bunch of Backstabs last Summer and prior, I took Mrs. Hammer totally out of any business portions of life.

Been Wonderful. Chaos Down (way, way, down). Money UP (way, way, up).

firebolt

LUCAN - i'm so sorry - this should be a HAPPY day for you! You can make it one - plan something fun with your daughter, after all, your marriage is what gave her to you!

Feel better - you can make it a good anniversary despite. (((HUGS)))

spiderqueen

I just read another post in a different thread about letting go of the "love of my life" idea, however painful. The poster said her children were the true loves of her life.

That is ultimately what brought me around to my sanity again when I realized my XABF was lost to alcohol. I fell in love with my daughters all over again.

I am so sorry for your understandable loneliness and disappointment. We have all been there.

Take good care of you and your girl today.
SQ

fourmaggie

have you tried AL ANON?