Someone broke in last Friday *trigger warning*
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
TC, call the local prosecutor's office and talk with a victim advocate. You might benefit from some counseling, and it might be free--provided by the agency that provides victim compensation. They also might be able to suggest some security measures you can take to help yourself feel (and BE) safer in your home.
Hugs, sorry this is still affecting you.
Hugs, sorry this is still affecting you.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Yes, I need counseling. Just busy looking for a new place and moving out, selling furniture and saying bye to my roomie. She won't be with me for a month. I arranged to sleep with a friend tomorrow night so I am not here by myself. Looking forward to a change of scenery.
I don't know-I know there's pepper spray and MMA and basic guidelines but what I feel now after I lived this, is that no matter what, if a man wants to get violent with you, he will win.
I am also not appreciating phrases such as "good nothing happened" as if there was no emotional toll. When talking to my dad I also realized how physical violence gets noticed when there are many other ways one can be subject to violence and its like it does not exist. Such as going through hell with XABF. THAT was hell and its like no one close to me understood it.
And now I am comparing instances of abuse in my life and feeling worse. Oh well. Thank you for being there, it helps to express myself. Just sad and with mixed emotions.
I don't know-I know there's pepper spray and MMA and basic guidelines but what I feel now after I lived this, is that no matter what, if a man wants to get violent with you, he will win.
I am also not appreciating phrases such as "good nothing happened" as if there was no emotional toll. When talking to my dad I also realized how physical violence gets noticed when there are many other ways one can be subject to violence and its like it does not exist. Such as going through hell with XABF. THAT was hell and its like no one close to me understood it.
And now I am comparing instances of abuse in my life and feeling worse. Oh well. Thank you for being there, it helps to express myself. Just sad and with mixed emotions.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Another thing that is not helping is my team lead. He knows what happened.
On Friday I was busy working and he was asking if I had issues, I said I was fine. It's not like I am going to share everything with him. He got upset and thought my silence meant I was angry with HIM. (He is weird and "touchy feely" in that way). I stated I was not "feeling" anything towards HIM (sounds like a codependent to me, takes one to know one) and was trying to make progress in my tasks.
Anyway, later I told him that my weeks have not been easy. And he answered "TC, be happy! I am there for my team!" and I was like - what a simplistic person and WTH does he care about my "mood" any given day? now above everything else I have to be "smiley"? Sheesh.
He is from India so perhaps there's a culture clash but he stressed me out and eventhough I like friendly workplaces I don't like to think that someone is paying attention to my "moods". I am in IT. Dealing with complex problems. I don't need extra stress. Not sure how to "handle" this person.
On Friday I was busy working and he was asking if I had issues, I said I was fine. It's not like I am going to share everything with him. He got upset and thought my silence meant I was angry with HIM. (He is weird and "touchy feely" in that way). I stated I was not "feeling" anything towards HIM (sounds like a codependent to me, takes one to know one) and was trying to make progress in my tasks.
Anyway, later I told him that my weeks have not been easy. And he answered "TC, be happy! I am there for my team!" and I was like - what a simplistic person and WTH does he care about my "mood" any given day? now above everything else I have to be "smiley"? Sheesh.
He is from India so perhaps there's a culture clash but he stressed me out and eventhough I like friendly workplaces I don't like to think that someone is paying attention to my "moods". I am in IT. Dealing with complex problems. I don't need extra stress. Not sure how to "handle" this person.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: northeast
Posts: 468
After my incident, I moved out of the apartment. I slept one or two more nights there, but was scared to death. It helped getting in a different apartment on a higher level- I knew no one was going to break in a window and I was able to bolt my door shut so that I doubted someone could get in.
My first two homes had security systems put in. Now 30 years later, I'm not as scared but still jumpy. If my poor kids wake me up at night, they know they're going get a scream most of the time, lol.
I think new place will help a lot- if you can find one with extra security even better.
Time helps, but your innocence about being safe in your own home is gone. Hugs.
My first two homes had security systems put in. Now 30 years later, I'm not as scared but still jumpy. If my poor kids wake me up at night, they know they're going get a scream most of the time, lol.
I think new place will help a lot- if you can find one with extra security even better.
Time helps, but your innocence about being safe in your own home is gone. Hugs.
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