Someone broke in last Friday *trigger warning*
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Someone broke in last Friday *trigger warning*
This post might trigger someone as it involves physical violence.
*TRIGGER WARNING*
So I went to a BBQ and saw the 4th of July fireworks, it was great.
I came back at 11 pm and I was not sleepy so I was texting friends on my sofa in the living room. One of them called me and I went out to take the call in the garden so the reception was better.
I went back inside, time passed, I was surfing the net... it was around 3 AM and I was still deciding whether to go try to sleep or not... kind of falling asleep on the sofa, then I realized the room was getting more light. I looked up and saw a silhouette opening my bedroom. I stood up and said the name of my roomie, thinking it was her and just surpised he would be opening my door in the middle of the night, when I realized it was not my roomie but an Afroamerican man (a stranger) coming out of my bedroom.
At that moment I started screaming and he came after me. He put his hands over my mouth and my jaw, trying to silence me, he said "shut up.. shut up". He was wearing a black scarf over his head but otherwise nothing else in his face so I was able to see him clearly. I tried to fight him off and got some bruises on my arms, face and neck. It's "funny" how the instincts take over. I was sure he was going to knock me unconscious, or strangle me, I also thought I might die there. I can still "feel" his hands around my jaw.
After what looked like an eternity, my roomie woke up and opened her door, the man got away from me and looked at my roomie, she ran outside and called 911. The man left. I was not sure where he was so I thought I might hide in the bathroom but thought that perhaps he was there, so I went out barefoot and shaky and met my roomate outside.
We knocked our neighbor's door and she never answered.
Police arrived and we spent hours with them and the detective. Then we waited for a few more hours for the crime scene specialists to take prints and stuff.
He took some of my cash but not my passport or credit cards. Not even laptops or cameras, I was joking with my roomie that apparently we own nothing of any value, lol.
Unfortunately my cat Gabanna escaped through the window he came in, and I am still very sad about losing her
although knowing her, I know she is probably having a great time wandering around. I have not done anything to look for her yet.
The saddest moment of my days is when I arrive and only see Dolce I found her scared in my closet.
My roomie left for NY this weekend so I slept elsewhere. That in itself is a different story. But it was good not to be at home.
Finally my roomie informed the landlord. The same day of the incident I was crying in my bedroom and she was walking outside. She said "hi". She made no efforts to talk with me. Apparently she will pay for someone to add some lights and fix what needs to be fixed but I was shocked by her response. Or lack of response.
I checked out another basement in a more residential area, hopefully things work out there and I can move soon.
The first week I was in DC, someone broke in my apartment in my country of origin. And now this. If people can stop breaking in, it would be great!!
I have kind of cried in starts and fits. I was already looking for therapy. Now with this, there goes even more of my "savings" on future therapy sessions. This adds to the PTSD I already had (no official record yet about it but I am not dumb, I got all the PTSD signs).
I have not told my family and am wondering if I should. I would feel bad knowing they are worrying and can do nothing. In fact, my mom was due to be here for the 4th of July but plans changed / just grateful she was not there to live this. My dad's birthday is coming up and he sent me a Facebook message asking how I am doing. I wanted to cry. The unhealed part of me wants to send a message describing all of what I have gone through and how, meanwhile, he has been playing tennis elsewhere, without any idea.
Then the most depressing thing. Although of course it was scary, and I still feel in shock and remember moments, and am afraid of my own shadow, I still feel that emotional abuse by XABF and his alcoholism, and then mourning him when we broke up, is way more hellish than going through this.
Both suck of course but my roomie was saying how "great" I have dealt with all this. And I have thought about the hell that my life was back in 2008. So my attitude with her was like "oh well this incident just adds up to other traumatic events"... and I thought... wow. I feel sorry for myself, but I know that my spirit is larger than sad events in my life.
Now I am not trying to feel dumb or guilty about what I could have done differently. I kind of "functioned" at work today. I went from my friend's place to my work directly.
I hope, hope that somehow Gabanna comes back. Although I already feel I need to let her go, and be happy being a small wild feline living adventures. At least the community is nice to animals, that gives some comfort
Thank you SR friends for being there with me. Boy do I recall stepping outside and seeing the sun shining, if I felt something while fighting off a stranger, was that my will to live is strong.
*TRIGGER WARNING*
So I went to a BBQ and saw the 4th of July fireworks, it was great.
I came back at 11 pm and I was not sleepy so I was texting friends on my sofa in the living room. One of them called me and I went out to take the call in the garden so the reception was better.
I went back inside, time passed, I was surfing the net... it was around 3 AM and I was still deciding whether to go try to sleep or not... kind of falling asleep on the sofa, then I realized the room was getting more light. I looked up and saw a silhouette opening my bedroom. I stood up and said the name of my roomie, thinking it was her and just surpised he would be opening my door in the middle of the night, when I realized it was not my roomie but an Afroamerican man (a stranger) coming out of my bedroom.
At that moment I started screaming and he came after me. He put his hands over my mouth and my jaw, trying to silence me, he said "shut up.. shut up". He was wearing a black scarf over his head but otherwise nothing else in his face so I was able to see him clearly. I tried to fight him off and got some bruises on my arms, face and neck. It's "funny" how the instincts take over. I was sure he was going to knock me unconscious, or strangle me, I also thought I might die there. I can still "feel" his hands around my jaw.
After what looked like an eternity, my roomie woke up and opened her door, the man got away from me and looked at my roomie, she ran outside and called 911. The man left. I was not sure where he was so I thought I might hide in the bathroom but thought that perhaps he was there, so I went out barefoot and shaky and met my roomate outside.
We knocked our neighbor's door and she never answered.
Police arrived and we spent hours with them and the detective. Then we waited for a few more hours for the crime scene specialists to take prints and stuff.
He took some of my cash but not my passport or credit cards. Not even laptops or cameras, I was joking with my roomie that apparently we own nothing of any value, lol.
Unfortunately my cat Gabanna escaped through the window he came in, and I am still very sad about losing her
although knowing her, I know she is probably having a great time wandering around. I have not done anything to look for her yet.The saddest moment of my days is when I arrive and only see Dolce
I found her scared in my closet.My roomie left for NY this weekend so I slept elsewhere. That in itself is a different story. But it was good not to be at home.
Finally my roomie informed the landlord. The same day of the incident I was crying in my bedroom and she was walking outside. She said "hi". She made no efforts to talk with me. Apparently she will pay for someone to add some lights and fix what needs to be fixed but I was shocked by her response. Or lack of response.
I checked out another basement in a more residential area, hopefully things work out there and I can move soon.
The first week I was in DC, someone broke in my apartment in my country of origin. And now this. If people can stop breaking in, it would be great!!
I have kind of cried in starts and fits. I was already looking for therapy. Now with this, there goes even more of my "savings" on future therapy sessions. This adds to the PTSD I already had (no official record yet about it but I am not dumb, I got all the PTSD signs).
I have not told my family and am wondering if I should. I would feel bad knowing they are worrying and can do nothing. In fact, my mom was due to be here for the 4th of July but plans changed / just grateful she was not there to live this. My dad's birthday is coming up and he sent me a Facebook message asking how I am doing. I wanted to cry. The unhealed part of me wants to send a message describing all of what I have gone through and how, meanwhile, he has been playing tennis elsewhere, without any idea.
Then the most depressing thing. Although of course it was scary, and I still feel in shock and remember moments, and am afraid of my own shadow, I still feel that emotional abuse by XABF and his alcoholism, and then mourning him when we broke up, is way more hellish than going through this.
Both suck of course but my roomie was saying how "great" I have dealt with all this. And I have thought about the hell that my life was back in 2008. So my attitude with her was like "oh well this incident just adds up to other traumatic events"... and I thought... wow. I feel sorry for myself, but I know that my spirit is larger than sad events in my life.
Now I am not trying to feel dumb or guilty about what I could have done differently. I kind of "functioned" at work today. I went from my friend's place to my work directly.
I hope, hope that somehow Gabanna comes back. Although I already feel I need to let her go, and be happy being a small wild feline living adventures. At least the community is nice to animals, that gives some comfort
Thank you SR friends for being there with me. Boy do I recall stepping outside and seeing the sun shining, if I felt something while fighting off a stranger, was that my will to live is strong.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Sorry you had such a traumatic experience T.C.
We live in a pretty sick society with a lot of it exacerbated by booze and drugs.
Hope Garbanna comes back or finds a good new life.
My prayers are with you.
We live in a pretty sick society with a lot of it exacerbated by booze and drugs.
Hope Garbanna comes back or finds a good new life.
My prayers are with you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 517
I am so sorry to hear this!
But do check with all the shelters for some time in your area and further away in case someone found her and dropped her off. If she is not there at first, she might always show up later. Good luck!
But do check with all the shelters for some time in your area and further away in case someone found her and dropped her off. If she is not there at first, she might always show up later. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Rochester, ny
Posts: 405
OMG!!! TC....
You're probably still in shock...that's good. While you're in shock, try to set up more support and comfort for yourself. Friends to go be with and get hugs, for example. Therapist. Maybe there's other resources too that you might feel you want to seek out.
Crime victims' support, for example. You will probably need support particularly after the shock wears off! Start searching around for it while you have the gift of shock working for you.
Also, dont forget...You said yourself, you felt you tapped into a deep and strong place in you.
I'm repeating that here and now for you, so you can read and be reminded and not forget that you did!
You're probably still in shock...that's good. While you're in shock, try to set up more support and comfort for yourself. Friends to go be with and get hugs, for example. Therapist. Maybe there's other resources too that you might feel you want to seek out.
Crime victims' support, for example. You will probably need support particularly after the shock wears off! Start searching around for it while you have the gift of shock working for you.
Also, dont forget...You said yourself, you felt you tapped into a deep and strong place in you.
I'm repeating that here and now for you, so you can read and be reminded and not forget that you did!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
TakingCharge, right away--call the shelter and give a very detailed description of your cat.
(I also live in the D.C. area). They are good about trying to reunite as many owners and pets as they can. Also, call ever 2 days to ask--this keeps your "case" fresh in their minds. I have done this soo many times!!
Argnotthisagain is so right on with the suggestion about contacting Crime victim's support.
Trust me, the support that you have will make such a difference in moving beyond this. You need human contact with those who understand. Personally, I think you should consider sharing with your family--this kind of support is very therapeutic. You don't necessarily have to share every detail---but, you need your family.
You need your therapist, also.
You have us. We will walk with you through this. None of this was your fault!!
dandylion
Oh, by the way---most of my returned kittys came back as a result of posters that I put up around the neighborhood. the others were returned through my contact with the shelters.
(I also live in the D.C. area). They are good about trying to reunite as many owners and pets as they can. Also, call ever 2 days to ask--this keeps your "case" fresh in their minds. I have done this soo many times!!
Argnotthisagain is so right on with the suggestion about contacting Crime victim's support.
Trust me, the support that you have will make such a difference in moving beyond this. You need human contact with those who understand. Personally, I think you should consider sharing with your family--this kind of support is very therapeutic. You don't necessarily have to share every detail---but, you need your family.
You need your therapist, also.
You have us. We will walk with you through this. None of this was your fault!!
dandylion
Oh, by the way---most of my returned kittys came back as a result of posters that I put up around the neighborhood. the others were returned through my contact with the shelters.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Wow, TC, sorry that happened to you--and so soon after your move to our *lovely* capital city. Unfortunately, much of D.C. is high-crime. It's worthwhile to install extra security devices and to be slightly paranoid if you are going to live in the city. I'm so glad your roommate was there--that probably helped scare him off.
Hope your kitties find their way home, soon. And yes, if you have any need for support, contact the prosecutor's office victim services unit. And pm me if you need any help with hooking up with them--I have connections down there.
Hugs, so glad you are safe.
Hope your kitties find their way home, soon. And yes, if you have any need for support, contact the prosecutor's office victim services unit. And pm me if you need any help with hooking up with them--I have connections down there.
Hugs, so glad you are safe.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
You will recover from this with help and time, TakingCharge.
I cannot imagine the experience you have just had. I am so sorry this happened and please do seek help for yourself. You will need support, as everyone here has said.
God bless you and God bless the fighter in you. You found the warrior part of you, and that is a beautiful thing.
I cannot imagine the experience you have just had. I am so sorry this happened and please do seek help for yourself. You will need support, as everyone here has said.
God bless you and God bless the fighter in you. You found the warrior part of you, and that is a beautiful thing.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
I'm so sorry this happened to you TC. I'm glad you were not hurt beyond the shock and scare. My home is protected by the second amendment and I would hope all my buddies have the same option if so desired. If you ever want to learn to shoot just let me know.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 350
I am so glad you are physically okay, and will take the steps to care for yourself emotionally, TC. I'm so very sorry you had to go through this violation but you were STRONG!!!!!! You have a lot to be proud of. Take care, and best of luck as you recover.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: northeast
Posts: 468
(((Taking Charge)))) I went through something very similar almost 30 years ago and it did take me a while to get over being scared at night when alone. Now, I fear for my daughter who lives in an apartment alone.
Without turning this into a gun debate, let me say I don't think a gun would have helped me. My attacker surprised me and he had a knife. I've always felt if I had a gun, its very likely he could have used it on me.
Without turning this into a gun debate, let me say I don't think a gun would have helped me. My attacker surprised me and he had a knife. I've always felt if I had a gun, its very likely he could have used it on me.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Originally Posted by BoxinRotz 
That man would have been a dead man in my house. I don't have kids in my house but I do have a loaded gun and a Castle Docterine that gives me the right to send whoever breaks in to their Maker.
Anyway, we can agree to disagree on this one... policemen I have talked to these days have different opinions on the matter.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Gabanna is back home!
So yesterday either I arrived home from work to curl up and suffer or I tried to "go back to normal life". Went bellydancing. It helped. Then went to take a shower.
A sister's friend texted me and said she was in the area, we had dinner. She is a healer and I know we will get along, it felt as if I had known her forever.
My roomie arrived and as I was talking to her (our door was open) I listened to Gabanna's meows! I guess she overheard me rambling and felt safe to cry out for help! she was hiding under some leaves in a small bamboo forest next to the house. I went in to rescue her and I got stuck inside
finally I was able to step out and I feel much better now that she is back home. We hugged all night lol. Thanks a lot for your suggestions anyway!
A sister's friend texted me and said she was in the area, we had dinner. She is a healer and I know we will get along, it felt as if I had known her forever.
My roomie arrived and as I was talking to her (our door was open) I listened to Gabanna's meows! I guess she overheard me rambling and felt safe to cry out for help! she was hiding under some leaves in a small bamboo forest next to the house. I went in to rescue her and I got stuck inside
finally I was able to step out and I feel much better now that she is back home. We hugged all night lol. Thanks a lot for your suggestions anyway!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Oh, TakingCharge--I am sooo happy!!! I have been worried this entire time!!!
Cats just love bamboo. There is an area of bamboo about three blocks from my house and some neighbors found a lost cat of mine (very geriatric kitty) in there.
dandylion
Cats just love bamboo. There is an area of bamboo about three blocks from my house and some neighbors found a lost cat of mine (very geriatric kitty) in there.
dandylion
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